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Thread: Came out to a friend (no more) and.....

  1. #26
    Lover of Silk and Satin Veronica Lacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Quote Originally Posted by missynicole View Post
    I asked him if he would mind spending some time with me when I was dressed. I thought he was a kind person who would understand, listen to me and that we could enjoy more of each others company. Yes I was wrong. He told me to seek counseling, that what I was doing was wrong and to stay away from him.
    MIssy Nicole
    Seems as if you approached your friend with expectations, the assumption that he would be ok with your dressing - and your expectations - and that your friendship would grow in a manner that suited your hopes. He may still be a kind person but being kind doesn't necessarily equate to being unmoved by such a disclosure. Most of us don't have poker faces and counsellor's minds when unexpectedly given such information about somebody we thought we knew. Crossdressing may be a bit more accepted today than in the past but it's still unusual, it still carries a stigma for a lot of people as they don't know much about it or those who live this way.

    Unfortunate that your friend's reaction was what it was but maybe he needs time (days, weeks, months?) to digest this new part of your personality. Old cliché about hindsight being 20/20 but should you feel the need in future to make such a full disclosure maybe just sharing that you enjoy wearing female attire is plenty enough information the first time around rather than adding in the expectations of increased friendship bliss. Even that could be too much too soon but it would be a statement rather than a request, sharing a personal preference rather than a requisition.

    I hope you can find some peace about this moment.
    Last edited by Veronica Lacey; 06-15-2019 at 07:48 AM.

  2. #27
    Member BettyMorgan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Western Canada
    What we do carries a lot of connotations that many do not understand. To ask friends to support us is good! However, we MUST make sure those friends have the capacity to support us.
    It's no different than when someone is distressed about something and they seek the advice of a friend. We can place a burden on them that they may not have the capacity to manage. I hope I made sense.
    Don't be hard on your friend and know it's never too late to heal a relationship.
    I love dressing as a woman.

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    I tend to agree with those who've suggested your comment about hanging together while you're dressed was a step to far, MN.
    Coming out is never easy, but you might have make it slightly easier if come out is all that you had said and done. Even if your friend didn't assume you were coming on to him it's still a massive ask when you've just laid such a bombshell on him.
    I'm sorry to hear it seems to have ended the friendship. It's always a risk. But equally maybe don't let it put you off telling anybody, just perhaps be a little more measured about it.

  4. #29
    I ♥ pink! AndreaCalifCD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    The OC, sunny S. Calif
    Quote Originally Posted by missynicole View Post
    all i want is to be a woman with someone....
    Perhaps some sort of "personals ad"? Where you can plainly state what you are looking for. Obviously that can be a minefield as well, but at least people will know up front and not be in for any surprises...

  5. #30
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Central PA
    I really want to comment, but I am struggling to find the right words. I am sorry you lost a friend, but maybe this is an opportunity, not a challenge.

  6. #31
    Member DressyJenny's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    I'm sorry honey. That had to be tough. Unfortunately we can't force people to accept us. But that doesn't mean we can't be who we are. And certainly shouldn't be ashamed.

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