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Thread: Picked up

  1. #1
    Member
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    Picked up

    So anyone that followed my sporadic posts, knows im married and have support of my wife and daughter.

    Tonight, 2 friends that are married, She is a full transition female, him a dresser, but only at home, picked me up from my home so

    we could out to a pub and bar in another city 25 miles away. This is a huge thing because my wife stayed at home while I went out, and even kissed me at the door.

    (More on this another time if people care)

    I did all things a women would do such as eating and drinking,and using the women's bathroom.

    But im still not happy, Its so stupid.

    I have it all....

    I realize the only time I am truly happy is when I am walking the sidewalks and strolling past people.

    Sitting in a pub or restaurant is really nice, but I only feel full filled when I have shown myself to the World.

    Is this normal?

    Im 58 but I feel like my brain is 18...

    Samantha

  2. #2
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Samantha,

    The only explanation I can think of is your mind is equating being (indoors) in a pub/restaurant with being within your 4 home walls. Perhaps your brain remembers that first time crossing the doorstep and the rush of adrenaline and that's what draws you to being outside.

    Being outside feels more exposed, visible to the world but in truth being in close proximity to others inside puts you much more in the spotlight. Perhaps it's this more intense scrutiny that in some way unnerves you. You're not as relaxed as when out simply walking.

    For me the opportunity to interact with others one to one is the more satisfying situation. Yes there's that sense of freedom felt when walking around. I can still remember my early adventures and the feeling of relaxing as I walked around and the world didn't decend upon me. That said that's a solo activity and we're by nature social creatures so being able to have Helen converse with others naturally is I feel validating.

    Each to their own I guess.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    If you don’t feel like a bar or restaurant isn’t “public” enough for you, then it sounds like you may have a bit of an exhibitionist streak.

  4. #4
    Banned Spammer
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    If you feel closed in then do what makes you happy.
    Nobody or any CDer rule in the book keeping you from it.
    Normal ?? I guess normal for you maybe so if you don't like it change it.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
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    Pure conjecture on my part, but, perhaps you're seeking more validation of yourself. Having a supportive wife at home really isn't validation by the world. Socializing in a confined space with like minded individuals perhaps is insufficient for you. Having the world at large accept you maybe a reaffirmation of who you are? Sounds like a question to ask a shrink.

  6. #6
    its important mykell's Avatar
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    i think i get it, at the club i volunteer at when no one shows up and im not engaged in a project i would be online, they recently cut the cord and not privy to the new limited version they acquired, bummed about it but i found their is a hot spot from my carrier close by but only available outside, now that it is nice out i prefer to outside at the tables in front, so i find myself out there doing my projects, reading, and of coarse surfing the net....im able to interact with more non community folks this way and i like that.
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  7. #7
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Yes it is normal or maybe not.

    I think of it as I have grown up all over again.

    It is like when you are 5 you see the world one way. 20, 40, 60. The way you see the world changes, you change, you are no longer the same person.

    The real question is where do you go from here?

  8. #8
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    Hi all and thank you for the replies.

    After reading the responses I think the reason I enjoy walking so much is because its taken me so long to get to this point.

    I don't get out enough and when I do, the last thing I want to do is sit somewhere. Its not like I don't like being in a restaurant or pub, its just

    that I don't want to be there all night.. Which is what the group I am with likes to do.

    Im not at the point where I can go out consistently by myself without suffering major anxiety before hand.

    I feel super blessed, so I hope I am not coming off as complaining, just wasn't sure what to think of this feeling I have.

    Ty, Samantha

  9. #9
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    The answer is obvious: Next Saturday, get up, get your girl on, and go and do what you'd normally do: go shopping, mow the lawn, and be out and about. People would see you, you'd have the exposure you are looking for, and everything is jake.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

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