I did at one time. Oddly, I think it was when I operated under the mistaken notion that women were expected to be submissive....had to be coaxed into sex...weaker sex...all that nonsense. Then I saw it as a way to disguise my gender...it's not my gender identity... it's a sexual kink. Again, more self-deception at work. Nowadays, I don't muddle up sexuality and gender identity nearly so much as I did some decades ago.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
I am naturally submissive at heart, and I can't really identify the origin of it. When drab, I look like a complete alpha male, and people expect me to be ready to take command. My sports history has placed me mainly in prominent alpha positions. I do okay at it but it's just not me, and at the end of the day, I am sick of it all. Dressing isn't as much an escape for me as a return to a more natural state. Maybe a distinction without a difference?
Because of how I was brought up, I have always felt both submissive and that I was supposed to be the one acted upon, sexually and socially. I had to learn how to behave like a 'standard issue male' in order to get females interested in me, but it's never just come naturally; it's all just an act. If I don't concentrate on 'acting the part', I can easily forget and slip into submissive, follower mode. Having to act as something that I'm not can be exhausting, but I've found that it's the only way to keep other people from taking advantage of me/abusing me. Even though I've grown up big and tall, the wolves are always at the door, only one step away, so to speak. Men are always trying to one-up each other, there's always a perceived pecking order no matter who, or where, you are.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Good post Lexi and I can relate to it. I've never been the dominant alpha type and it's been a disadvantage throughout my life. I've never liked the game which is one reason I like being self employed.
Being a bit smaller than the average man is the main reason I'm like this. As a result I feel sorry for those guys that are smaller and weaker than I am.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
As for me as him very outgoing loud in charge as wendy as loud and in charge as needed
My side I look at as crossdressing wendy after all she is in charge not a fear abought being cought or outed so I guess I feel very wendy
I am pretty submissive in general, but I think I am about the same submissiveness dressed or drab.
I am quiet and shy. Partly due to being rather small as a man, 5' 6". My wife takes over frequently. We make it work--we fit together.
Some of us may behave differently when en femme vs. drab, but being submissive when en femme vs. drab is a behavior and aspect of character or fantasy. Crossdressing is not a part of character or even a choice, but a fact of life ... a necessity for us, really. My two cents.
Veronica
Love who you are! You are uniquely you!!
I wouldn't say submissive but more emotional... well I let my emotions ride freely when dressed and feeling feminine.
I actually felt more submissive when i avoided clothes that might upset the wife. I feel much less submissive now that the norm has been for me to wear more what i want around the house. That makes life much more calm in itself.
I don't feel the least bit dominant now, but the relationship seems to be much more equal.
Yes, I feel very submissive when dressed feminine, but there is no one to submit to. It's just the feeling that I wish to be loved as a woman, but there is no one there to respond.
I am what is known as a switch so often feeling submissive, especially when dressed.
I am generally submissive however I am dressed and not any more so dressed as a woman.
I had the same response from a girlfriend. Once she got over the shock of discovering me in her bra and panties, and I began underdressing, she said she liked how Chrissie was so sweet and easy to be with. She said that was what attracted her to me in the first place, and now it was more than ever. Our sex changed, too...soft, gentle, very hot (and I would say she led the way).Originally Posted by Crissy 107
Last edited by chrissietoo; 06-26-2019 at 07:47 PM.
In day to day syraight male zone not sub by any means. When dressed i am not ashamed to admit that i would like nothing more than tp please a man. Also, when i see cd's in public its a turn on.
hello Jean,
what a good question - my first reaction was "yes", but actually dressing up chases my worries away and gives me confidence.
luv J
I'm a very submissive person and scaredy-cat by nature and when being fully dressed I'm even less willing to challenge anyone. If confronted by anyone in person when I'm in public fully or even partly dressed in outer female clothes, I'll do what I'm told to do, rather than resist.
Submissive? Yes, I am. When I am Roxanne, and I am most of the time, I am a very submissive girl. I just love being that way!
Roxanne, "A wife, maybe?"
As Sweet As I Can Ever Be
It actually varies with me
Sometimes feel very submissive docile
the old stereotype of how women should be
Quiter more calm agreeable cooperative
At other times a strong confident assertive
Woman . Ready to take on the world
And looking Fabulous (to me ) while doing it
JAS
I wouldn't consider myself submissive or dominant. I am just private and introverted. I sometimes feel like I am submissive, but I am more of the romantic type. Being loved and accepted, and having someone show me that in both actions and physical touches, etcetera and reciprocating is the thing I like.
Last edited by laura.lapinski; 06-29-2019 at 01:05 PM.
I wouldn't say I'm either really, although. I've been told by individuals (The majority ~ 99 99% only know me in male mode) that I come across as not only very masculine, dominant, and so~called "Alpha Male" but as intimidating 😲
This comes I would suppose from having spent half of my twenty years in the Marnie Corps training recruits at Parris Island, South Carolina
(Drill Instructor, Marksmanship Instructor, etc.)
Another trait that comes into play, is when in work 💼 mode, I'm extremely focused, and tend to tune out any distractions.
But in truth, in an ideal world 🌎
I would nothing more than to be "The Wife", and all that entails in a FL relationship ~ marriage 💏 with a GG.
Hi Jean Ann, No matter what uniform I am wearing I am still the same person underneath everything.
>>>>>>Orchid .OOOO.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~...
I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !
If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.
Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!
Wow this thread has run the gamut, huh? All the way from, 'yeah, I'm a freaky soul in the bedroom' to Internet personality test. 😁
I've fantasised about being submissive but the reality never worked. Never.
I'm neither the stereotypical Alpha nor the alternative. I've always resisted playing the game. It's rigged. People typically have trouble placing me in hierarchy because they seem incapable of figuring where I fit.
For myself this means I've always had a somewhat outsider perspective that's caused a little loneliness in its time but also comfort from the pressures of comformity.
I'll happily consent to a course of action I agree with. I'll even respect a consensus I don't share. But I'll be ready with the right plan when things go belly up. It's certainly not a submissive stance, but neither is it overbearing nor disregarding of others' perspective.
Unquestioning submissive smacks too much of an abdication of self-determination. I fought too hard for recognition of that right to ever hand it over.
Of course Wifeling might have plenty to contradict me on here 😜, were she to contribute (unlikely for the time being).
As for whether I'm any different when dressed? Well I take a little more care with how I move maybe. However I have a similar highened self-awareness when I'm wearing my suits. Dressing femme or wearing a suit I'm more aware of myself and I stand taller, move a little differently. But no, I don't put on a dress and become a doting female simpleton, who lacks any self-will.
I have though wondered if it would change my level of my wife's acceptance of CDing if I was demonstrably a different person. Maybe that would be easier to deal with, maybe not. 🤔
Submissiveness, by definition is "yielding to another's authority or will". Having limits set by another person's 'boundaries' is submission. Even fear of SO's reaction, especially when based on past reactions, is submission. DADT is submission.
Any time one partner's behavior is determined by the other's willingness to accommodate, the person who is making the determination is the dominant player and the person accommodating is being submissive.
Ultimately, a successful partnership happens when both partners are equally considerate and accommodating the the other's needs and desires.
Last edited by Bea_; 06-30-2019 at 12:05 PM.
Bea I think there's a line that can be drawn between 'submission' and 'compromise'. I'm not currently dressing, at my wife's request, but I don't feel like that's submission per se. I've modified my own will in the short term because I recognise her needs currently are greater than my own. If she were to capitulate and let me dress as I saw fit, despite her obvious misgivings I would be more than a little disquiet Ed at how overbearing I must be to inspire such submission.
Sacrifice is another thing, sharing food for example. If I were ceding food to a supposed alpha in an act of submission? Well, I couldn't countenance that. But giving it to someone in greater need? What's submissive about that?
But then I think you kind of argued the same points despite a fairly black and white first para. 😁
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