It’s been a week since the following...
I sat down with my wife as things were not going great. It was clear something wasn’t right and a feeling of hope was fading.
I approached the conversation calm and prepared. This time I didn’t panic. I let her talk and explain her feelings and why it might be over.
I asked questions back. I basically let her control the way the conversation went. I let her express how she was feeling. I kept my responses short and honest.
After a good few hours we were giving it a go again. Thank god.
To bullet point some of the key points in the discussion. And these are just a few fixes from the convo from my perspective:
I felt for us to move forward we needed to even out the way things are. No more boxing my thing and hiding it deep down. I needed to be myself and she needed to stop ignoring it like it didn’t exist. We had to respect each other as equals.
Once we moved on from that, the topic turned to obsession. I had to prove going forward she was my priority. That I’m not obsessed with it. I can only prove that over time but she was happy with that response. As it goes back to; restricting me causes frustration and makes it appear to be an obsession. Plus boxing and hiding it away does not help either. This ones a work in progress. But progress none the less.
Lastly, I said i needed her help. Her guidance. So I don’t feel alone with it. She doesn’t have to see me dressed up but to help me where she can to not get things wrong and get better at my feminine side. Examples being clothes, makeup etc.
Now for the breakthrough... and if you made it this far thank you....
I stupidly I put dark nail polish straight on to my nails.
I told her about this on the phone. She called me silly and said I should have used a base coat, she then offered to get me some!
I know it’s a fairly small gesture but I see it as a very small step to working on acceptance of my femme side.
And at this point I’m grateful she is trying and it means the world to me. She also has asked that I be honest with her in return. I’m happy to do that. I’ve got to get better at talking about this side of me so honesty will help.
I hope this helps people in the same position.
Listen to your wife. If you want love to succeed it has to be natural and a neutral decision. I’m glad my wife has that in her to see the good in me despite the person I am. We both love and care deeply for one another.
The future is uncertain for nearly everyone.
I can only hope mine becomes clearer with each day that passes.