Is there a wrong way to crossdress?

[Erin.Sometimes]

This came up on another website and it made me do a bit of thinking.

Now obviously it depends on what your goals are. If you just want to wear the clothes, it's hard to screw up, but if you're going for 100% passing, it can be easy to fall short.

Ultimately I think what I've landed on is that as long as you're enjoying yourself, you really can't be doing it wrong.

I imagine most have come to a similar conclusion as I have, but I'm curious to see if anyone else would like to throw in their two cents.

[Jean 103]

Yes and No

Yes if you are looking to transition completely. But then you are not a CD.

No if you are just living life as a CD.

Now if you walk out the door you will be judged. So what, the more you go out the more you learn, till it all becomes second nature.

Do you want to make friends be part of the in crowd, or blend in and be ignored?

[Stephanie47]

I suppose if you want to run around stark naked and you're enjoying yourself, then all is OK and nothing is wrong. Does it come down somewhat to playing the part? If you are transitioning from male to female would you not want to appear in all aspects as a woman? If you're a cross dresser would you not want to appear as a woman? If a man is clean shaven and is under dressing with a bra, panty, hosiery and a camisole is that sufficient to satisfy any inner need to appear as a woman? At times in my family young women have worn men's jeans and men's flannel shirts for comfort and affordability or just plain 'the in style." Would that be sufficient dressing for a cross dressing man to realize his inner self? Just pondering!

Personally, when I am going to emulate a woman I wear a dress, heels and hosiery and proper undergarments; bra, panty and slip. Except for some bold women down at the cancer chemotherapy office I have not seen but one woman in the wild without any hair.

[faltenrock]

Yes and No

Now if you walk out the door you will be judged. So what, the more you go out the more you learn, till it all becomes second nature.
Do you want to make friends be part of the in crowd, or blend in and be ignored?

Jean I like that, I found out during the last years that in fact Doreen became my second nature. One can't live without the other.

[Krea]

No. As long as you aren't breaking the law wrt indecent exposure etc, there is no wrong way to crossdress. Doubtless some people wil try to tell you that "this is the right way to CD" or "that is the wrong way", but it's entirely your own choice of expression.

[Shelly Preston]

I would say there is not a wrong way to dress

However there may be times and places where the way you dress will raise concerns.

[Leslie Mary S]

If you dress and apply make=up to go with the event/occasion then there is no wrong way. If you do not meet the expected event standards, then it is wrong.

[abbiedrake]

The only wrong way to crossdress is if you wear men's clothes and you are indeed a man. 😄
Other than than bit of facetiousness (I do try to limit it honestly. Maybe it's cos I'm a Brit?) I honestly can't see why any of us sisters judge each other. We've got heteronormative society for that.

Also @leslie and @shelly that's just dressing the 'wrong' way not crossdressing the wrong way. But even then transgressing norms should be treated with the disapprobation it so often is. Humans love inflexibility it seems.

[alwayshave]

Dress however makes you comfortable. While I only like to wear dresses and don't wear pants, those who dress in pants are not doing it wrong, it just their preference.

[SaraLin]

Umm-m-m Wearing your Bra and panties on the outside? Sorry. Just in a humorous mood this morning and couldn't resist.

[GretchenM]

I like the way Jean put it, however there are several different levels of TG besides transitioning. I agree that transitioning folks need to shoot for passable even though they are more likely to land in the presentable world. Presentable is good; passable really hard. Women vary tremendously and with some you could even suspect they are a transwoman; don't say it though, if you know what is good for you.

CDing seems to provide a wide range of acceptability. But between CD and TS there are a million variations. And, in my view, it comes down to what you want to do. But one must also be considerate of others and not offend. Some onlookers will always be offended, but most will be fine. If the majority are offended then that is likely treacherous territory. I tend to be a mild blender - enough to tell others that I am not exactly a guy in the traditional sense but I am not transitioning. For the most part it works out fine. But it does have its limits. That said, it also depends on the neighborhood. In much of Denver it works great; in some of the burbs it really doesn't. In some places in Denver, don't try it - stay away. Once can usually feel what the others are thinking rather quickly.

[Amelie]

Sara Lin, wearing a bra on the outside wouldn't really be wrong, lol. Madonna and others have done this as a fashion statement.

There is no wrong way to dress period. There is no right and wrong to living the way you want. It's nobody else's business how I dress.

[Jonithan]

Umm-m-m Wearing your Bra and panties on the outside? Sorry. Just in a humorous mood this morning and couldn't resist.

^^^^
Or putting pantyhose over your head while walking into a bank.

joni

[CarlaWestin]

I guess it depends on what you think wrong is. It's all part of being NOT male for a while. And here's my take on passing. Unless you are of a specific body type that lends itself to all the subtle female cues, your maleness will show to the discerning eye.
FIle2-1.jpg
My main tool for passing is that 98% don't see, don't notice or don't care. And I'm in the don't care group. I'm just being happy my way. In my professional life, I've encountered genderists that I truly appreciate their, (please fill in the right word here), that they present from the inside out every day, in a continuous scan and judge atmosphere. And I've seen all rates of passability no matter what the birth gender. But, probably rarely 100%.

[Beverley Sims]

It all comes down to dressing appropriately for the time and place.

A lot of mixed answers in this quite interesting thread.

[Krisi]

"Is there a wrong way to crossdress? "

Wearing your boobs on your back would be wrong.

[Charlotte7]

My main tool for passing is that 98% don't see, don't notice or don't care

Absolutely

[Robertacd]

DRAG or DRAB if you are dressed inappropriately for the situation then you are doin' it wrong.

[ClosetED]

There is no wrong way to crossdress, but a wrong (inappropriate to the situation) way to dress.
Wearing a wedding dress to a family funeral. Wearing a bikini when it is 40 below freezing.
Then you can move further down the slippery slope - an 80 year old in a bikini, dressing like a hooker or a glamour queen in the local mall.
But in private, whatever makes you happy.
Hugs, Ellen

[Asew]

In a way, you can crossdress wrong for yourself. For years I was doing the fake boobs and such (thinking femme clothes needed a more full femme presentation), and after realizing I was happier without certain extras and accepting a mixed gender presentation, it was a huge milestone. I should have paid more attention earlier on But all in all, it wasn't really wrong since it was part of the path for me to get here.

[Aunt Kelly]

It all comes down to dressing appropriately for the time and place.

Exactly!
If one takes the "cross dressing" qualifier out of the question, the answer is easier to see. There are lots of wrong ways to dress. Wearing clothes of the opposite gender isn't inherently "wrong", of course, so the answer must rather more nuanced, and must consider the subject's motivation and goals. I'll use that guy I saw on Fremont street two nights ago, dressed in pantyhose and a diaper, as colorful illustration. We can only guess at his motivation, but it's a safe bet that he was not going for "passing" or "blending". So was he dressed "wrong"?

[Wildaboutheels]

According to some of the regular posters here, YES. <<<< It comes mostly from the full "I go out 100% trying to pass as a female or not at all" group and it does not even seem to matter how long they have been CDing, or whether they would transition if they could. Of course this group of individuals are entitled to their opinion!!!

What I have yet to see (maybe I missed it) are people who go out making ZERO attempt to pass criticizing those that DO go 100% all out.

Wellllllllllllll IMO, when new members/those new to CDing)read those opinions, (wrong way to do it) that might scare them from going out wearing what they want to. That helps no one.

I think the biggest prolem with this site/FORUM is that so many want to argue over definitions. Seriously, when folks can't even agree on what a CDer is and isn't, some members are going to get their feelings hurt. I believe a thread was shut down about a month ago (?) over the matter.

So NO, there is no wrong way to CD, any more than there is a wrong way to "dress" period. As a man. Or a woman. Or as some combination.

There might be some stores out there that won't allow men or women to shop in or purchase clothes from the wrong department

There might be some places where every person that comes through the door is checked over with a fine toothed comb. Made to strip down to their undies...

And IF, they are found to be wearing any clothing items at all from the wrong department... they will not be allowed in.

And yes of course, the earth MIGHT be flat.

[Majella St Gerard]

Yes there is a wrong way and it will be pointed out when you do it wrong.

[Teresa]

Jean,
It partly depends on how bad your GD needs are .

I try and think of it in GGs terms , somedays dress to go about your business , the knack is knowing the right outfit for the right occassion , when you want to make a statement and when to blend in but not necessarily be ignored, I feel CDers are never totally ignored there are always tell tale signs .

Erin,
Forget the 100% passing it just doesn't happen , you may think people haven't noticed, they are either being kind or choosing to ignore you , unless you're looking for a reaction best not to push it too far .

[Confucius]

As long as you dress according to your needs and goals, then there is no wrong way to crossdress.

I have to say when I see a beautiful crossdresser, I get envious. When I see an ugly crossdresser, I still respect them for being themselves. I could never pass myself, but wearing pretty and feminine clothing still makes me happy.