This week is a much-needed staycation for me. Yesterday, I had a bunch of annoying little tasks to take care of during the day, but afterwards found myself with a blissfully free evening stretching before me and a cute new dress just demanding to be worn. And so after a quick 90-minute session in front of the makeup mirror, I was ready to head out in search of adventure.
First objective was food, since it was just past 8:00 and I hadn't eaten since breakfast. I decided to hit up the local Applebee's, where I'd visited en femme once a few months ago without incident. By lovely coincidence, the waitress who seated me was the same one who'd taken care of me before, and she actually remembered me! "Hey, great to see you again! You want the same table you had last time?" (I guess that's probably not so surprising....I'm sure she's had thousands of customers, but presumably very few crossdressers who tower over her by a foot.) I succumbed to my desire for unhealthy comfort food, watched a bit of the Mets-Yankees game on the bar's TV, settled up the bill, and departed.
Well, what next? I wasn't ready to head home, but there's not a whole lot else to do in my neck of the woods late on a Tuesday night, except.....maybe find a bar and have a quick drink? That was pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone, especially since I live in a small town without any specifically gay/trans-friendly establishments anywhere nearby, but you only live once, right? A quick check of Yelp on my phone turned up an intriguing-sounding spot just 10 minutes away, described as a "low-key dive bar" with a "laid-back, eclectic clientele." Sounded perfect....next objective obtained!
Now, I very rarely visit bars by myself in male mode, mostly because I tend to be pretty shy and reserved....I'll usually just find a barstool in the corner and nurse a drink for an hour while looking at my phone or watching TV, and I can do that much cheaper at home. But I figured if I could do that en femme, well, it might not be the most exciting evening, but it would be a bit of an accomplishment, right?
Except.....that's not how the evening went at all. I had an absolute BLAST. The crowd was small (no more than 20-25 people at any point) but unexpectedly lively. The bartender was great. Whoever was choosing the music seemed like they were reading my mind. Lots of folks (both men and women) introduced themselves and chatted me up, which NEVER happens when I'm in boy mode. Everyone used my femme name and referred to me as "she." Folks bought me shots. At one point a few young women insisted I join them outside for "girl talk." I was among about a dozen diehards who shut the place down at 4 a.m.
And just to clarify: I do not pass. Even taking into account the dim lighting and various levels of inebriation of my fellow patrons, there was exactly ZERO chance anyone thought that I was anything other than a guy in a dress. And it just.....wasn't an issue. At all. If anyone had any kind of problem with me, they certainly hid it well.
Towards the end of the night, the (male) bartender and another (female) bartender who was there hanging out on her night off both INSISTED that I come back on a Friday night sometime, when they'd both be working and the crowd would be at maximum fun level. I expressed a little hesitation at that idea....after all, it's one thing to be out among a small Tuesday late-night crowd, but quite another to brave Friday night at happy hour when the place would be packed to the rafters. "I can't tell you where your own comfort zone should be," replied the female bartender, "but I've been working here for years and I can GUARANTEE that you'll be fine. No one here is going to give you a hard time."
I mean...wow. I was hoping just to enjoy a quiet drink without being hassled by some drunken yahoo, and instead the whole place just completely embraced me. I was so amazed at the level of acceptance that I got a little emotional on the drive home (discovering along the way that my waterproof mascara actually lives up to its billing).
Although I really shouldn't be amazed at this point. It's been a couple of years since I've started coming out of my shell and exploring the world, and literally EVERY SINGLE TIME I've pushed my boundaries a bit, it's ended up being FAR easier than I feared. Sure, I'm lucky enough to live in a relatively tolerant area of the country, but of the hundreds (thousands?) of people I've encountered in my various outings, I've never had a single overtly negative reaction.
So, yeah, maybe the world isn't quite as scary as we might think sometimes. If only it hadn't taken me until I was in my early forties to figure that out....
But at least I found a new favorite hangout!
Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater
