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Thread: Purses

  1. #26
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Sep 2005
    Catskill, NY
    I have about 12 handbags, clutches, shoulder bags, all of a very feminine appearance, and I find that when I am in guy mode that I really miss the convenience of a bag.

    I may have to search out a 'man bag' for guy mode.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

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  2. #27
    Aspiring Member Tahoegurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    I have a few purses and I have a shoulder bag that I carry and choose what matches the outfit I'm in. Why? Because they are super handy and I can't carry my medical supplies in my pockets. As an aside though - I think a problem is asking a group of strangers on a forum what your wife indicated. I think this is a conversation between the two of you about what she is OK with. You can always do whatever you want to but you have to accept the consequences of those decisions. Cheers.
    Life is too short to be boring...Alexandra

  3. #28
    Member Bea_'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Texas Gulf Coast
    If you like your current bag but want to keep it more organized, just search for purse organizers on amazon. They're just inserts designed to fit into a larger 'typical' purse. i bought one to try and organize a mini-van console and it didn't work so well for the purpose. But, I'm sure it would be better than an open abyss of a purse when looking for keys and such.

    If you want a new purse, just get one that fits the bill. There are so many purse/crossbody bag designs on the market that could be taken as unisex. If you can become comfortable carrying it, it's a man-bag, no matter which side of the aisle it's from.

  4. #29
    Member Marianne S's Avatar
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    Sep 2016
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Darci, thanks for educating me! I didn't know what the term "messenger bag" meant, so I looked it up on the Web. It's very smart-looking! Mind you, I can't imagine why anyone would see a man carrying one of these as "feminine," any more than a man carrying an attaché case. That's a good reason why your wife may not object to it. Of course, whether that absence of femininity defeats your own purpose in carrying it is quite another question!

    I also appreciated your thread because it set me off on a stimulating train of thought about the pros and cons of carrying a purse--or for that matter a separate "receptacle" of any kind. It's an interesting blend of purely practical aspects with gendered aspects.

    But I'll skip that discussion for now in the interest of trying to answer your own question. It's true, as other posters have implied, that your wife's first remark, that “Oh, so it’s your purse, huh?” is... dare I say, "polysemous"? Even if nobody used that word, I find it useful because it means "the quality of having many (possible) meanings." Who knows all the things your wife meant to convey by what she said?

    I do tend to agree with those who suspected she was poking fun at you at the time. Whether this really implies "trying to shame you" out of a behavioe is another question entirely, since any of us can "poke fun" at a person while still accepting "who they are" and what they're like.

    However, she's bound to have mixed feelings about your feminine identity, and I do think her second remark was quite different in intent: “you know, if you’re going to carry a purse, you really need to get one with sections so you can find stuff without having to pull everything out.” Why would she go into such detail unless her intent was actually benign and helpful? She may be torn between the "problem" she has with your feminine side and a natural desire to identify with some of your more practical issues. Just don't provoke her too far by carrying too obviously "feminine" a purse, that's all!

  5. #30
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Since you're in a DADT relationship how will you ever know how she feels about you carrying a purse? Is it possible to change that to 'ask but don't tell'?
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member StevieTV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Eastern Ontario
    Saddleback leather has a number of bags that are unisex. I usually carry a crossbody bag of theirs or if I'm thrift shopping, their medium satchel.

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