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Thread: Excited and nervous for therapy appointment.

  1. #1
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    Excited and nervous for therapy appointment.

    So I have an upcoming therapy appointment. My SO will be out of town (I'm in the closet and she doesn't know).

    My therapist is the only one who knows, besides everyone on this site.

    The appointment will be virtual, so I can attend from the comfort of my home.

    I'm really considering dressing up for it!

    I'm taking the day off and am going to dress anyway as the opportunity is available.

    I'm torn.

    My therapist is supportive of my desire to dress.

    Like many on this site, the urge to go out and be seen is a factor for me as well. This would partially satisfy that feeling.

    I feel like it will be mostly positive, but I'm so apprehensive.

  2. #2
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Apprehensive why?
    Because you are lying to your wife and hiding things?
    She will find out you do realize that right?
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

  3. #3
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    I can see why you’re torn. As mentioned, could it be your apprehension is influenced not only by your dressing but by your secret? Your SO will find out..sooner or later..bet on it....then you’ll know apprehension...plus many other issues...for which “honesty” will be #1. Odds are...she already knows or suspects...never underestimate female ESP. I think they do have eyes in the back of their heads. My suggestion is, since your therapist already knows...work with him/her to figure out the best way to minimize damage control. Sorry for my bluntness. You’ve got your work cut out for you.

  4. #4
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    “My therapist is supportive of my desire to dress. “

    I think you and your therapist need to work on you telling your S. O.
    And not what you are going to wear .
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  5. #5
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    There is way more to your situation than you realize.
    Di is correct on telling the SO.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    First of all, I think your question was should I "see" my therapist dressed? My answer is, "yes, definitely."

    I have been to several therapists, and have gone to each one dressed, at least some of the time. And these therapy sessions were FtF, not virtual. My main problem was logistics. How do I get dressed before the appointment, and change back into boy to go back to work.

    As for telling your spouse, a lot of people on this board strongly believe that you should tell your spouse. I'm not one of them.

    However, you are already on the slippery slope. The appointment might be virtual, but I suspect that the money you pay for the appointment is ultimately traceable to that green paper with pictures of presidents on it. What if your spouse finds the paper trail? If she does find it, will you be able to convince her that the money really went for therapy, and not "an afternoon delight", like a hotel room for a physical meeting? Is that the time you want to say, "Oh mo, I'm not having an affair; I'm a crossdresser, and going to therapy."

    You're far enough anonl now that you need to talk to your therapist about a plan to reveal the truth. Notice that I said make a plan and be ready to execute the plan at an appropriate time.

    That's my thought. I got into a world of trouble when my wife discovered my hobby, and that's not a good place to be. Emotions may be running a little high, and saying, "Calm down. We need to talk'" at that point will be like pouring gasoline on the gire.

    Forewarned id forearmed.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me.

  7. #7
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    For those of us who go shopping, doctors, movies etc dressed, dressed is not an issue.
    So what's therapy for? going out dressed, using the female toilet, telling the wife???
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  8. #8
    Member BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Once I came out to my wife about my desires to dress, all that built up guilt, anxiety and apprehension was gone. That weight was finally off my shoulders. It was a huge relief.

  9. #9
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    Yes, ultimately you will have to approach the issue of telling your wife or not. First, you have to be able to accept yourself. I am assuming that's why you are talking to a therapist. The members on this site may be supportive but we will not be in the room if and when you do tell your wife. Ultimately, you may benefit from joint counseling with your wife.

  10. #10
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    Yes, ultimately you will have to approach the issue of telling your wife or not. The members on this site may be supportive but we will not be in the room if and when you do tell your wife. Ultimately, you may benefit from joint counseling with your wife.
    I totally agree ! Hope you can accept yourself and move forward and the joint counseling as a goal is a great idea.
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  11. #11
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    If you’re feeling the need for therapy to understand/cope with your CDing and gender identity, then you really should think realistically about what comes next in every aspect of your life. If you’re serious, as I assume you are, you must make a commitment to therapy for a meaningful period of time, which means a commitment to the expense. And likely a commitment to bringing your wife into the conversation. There is a risk either way, telling or not telling. But the risk of hiding generally has proven far greater than the risk of being honest.
    New state, new home, new pics in process

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    Geesh, Of course she is supportive. She is your therapist after all. And the $120/hr don't hurt neither. Sorry, My honest two cents - Annie.

  13. #13
    Female impostornator! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    A different take. Being seen.

    Many closet dressers here post photos so they CAN be seen even if they never go out, Nicole! There's a section here for just photos. I suggest u start by posting an avatar pic of yourself dressed that u like.

    Then, post a series of pics in the photo section when you're feeling more confident!

    Not everyone can or enjoys going out to vanilla venues dressed. I certainly don't!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
    Member April T's Avatar
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    I've been to therapy dressed and in drab. It's your decision but your therapist should support your choice or they are not a therapist you should be seeing.

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