Hi. New to this site. So here goes. Come out? No not not for me I,m afraid. Being older and now alone. Wife passed. So now able to dress as I please in my country home. I choose to keep it here. I think much easier that way. Small town people would tend to not understand or care to.
What a nice new world. Lots to learn. But alone.
Last edited by Shelly Preston; 07-11-2019 at 12:48 PM. Reason: see my reply
Hi Velma
Welcome to the forum you might want to put a post telling us a little about yourself in the introductions section.
Your post deserves its own thread.
The decision to come out is not for everyone.
We can only decide to do what we feel is correct for ourselves.
Welcome Velma.
I'm alone too and it makes life a lot easier. I am out to many people but that is my choice.
Don't assume small town people would not accept you for who you are is not fair to them.
Some of the most accepting people I have found live in very small rural towns.
Again welcome to the site and enjoy your stay here.
Welcome Velma. I’ll echo the feeling that being alone is easier in some respect, while acknowledging that one never fully fills the void made by the loss of a loved one. As for whether you come out or not, it depends on how you wish to live your life, rather than where you are.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Hey Velma, welcome,
There's nothing wrong with not coming out, I tend to agree with you, but I'm not alone either. You should always be comfortable with your decisions. One thing to remember is you won't be alone on this forum!
Just be yourself. No need to come out if you do not want to.
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I haven't come out, as I don't think it is necessary. I do have a very feminine style, as most of my tops come out of the Juniors section at Kohls. And my shorts are now mid thigh length or shorter. I was at a party today and confirmed that I look really young, as I've done a great job of protecting my skin from the sun for the past couple of decades.
I too live alone. I have lovely grown up children and its wonderful being with them.
But when I come home and shut that front door I am the other me. I am Suzy. And it never fails to give me that buzz inside. Crossdressing is not only for life but for me its the icing on the cake of life.
Welcome Velma.
Last edited by suzy1; 07-16-2019 at 06:09 AM.
Hi Velma! Go at your own pace, explore it in your own way, and keep us posted if you can!
Hi Velma,
Welcome to the fold! I too am alone (have been for 6 years) like you and many others going out for the first time was incredibly nerve wracking but once done it became easier. And by the way I live amongst a small communityand my dressing is not a problem to any of them!
I started life a lost man now I am a found woman
Thank you. So very kind of you.
Velma
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Wish I lived in a open area such as you do. Wisc, people however are not quite that way. I must admit its quite a challenge but yet exciting to think that perhaps I might get to that point where I learn the art of dress and makeup. I sure have everything I need. It all fits. Anyway back to where I was. To try and go out. Shopping here I come.
I have a trans friend who lives in Wisconsin who thinks similarly to you, Velma. However, pay heed to Tracii and Bobbi. Fact is people aren't just a mass. Most people these days will accept you and as you participate here you'll learn plenty about ignoring the odd fool who lives in the past and is an arse about things.
Not being yourself is potentially far more damaging than the occasional slings and arrows from clownshoes.
Even the ones that AREN’T ok with it usually aren’t looking to make a scene or start an argument in public.Originally Posted by abbiedrake
Thank you. Hopefully someday I will meet someone in my state who will be of some comfort. Be so nice to have someone to chat with and share . Wish they had not closed the Yonkers and ShopKo stores. Loved shopping a Yonkers with the wife. Such lovely things.
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Hi, Had the same thing in my home. Almost ruined a 40 year marriage.
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Same for me. Almost ruined a 40 year marriage. Miss her so very much but being out of the deep closet I think is gong to be a fresh new breath of air.
Velma, I'm a closet dresser. Which means I never go out dressed near where I live and I have no interest in going to Walmart, Denny's or Goodwill dressed!
However, I DO go out dressed a lot! To T friendly clubs/bars in nearby towns and T events in LA and Vegas! I find T girls r remarkable people and fun to socialize with.
U mite consider that sometime, now that u r free! By the way, I'm 76!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Velma, Shelley is right on the button, your neighbour has definately put two and two together, but no harm done and yes you could have a potential good friend there and maybe advice on dressing as well? don't hide, I have found its better out in front especially if someone has twigged at what's going on, making lame excuses come back to kick one later.
I started life a lost man now I am a found woman
Velma,
I'm going to support Bobbi's comment, once you get into this situation don't go running for cover it's counter productive . If you make the decision try and stick by it , once I'd moved into my new home after my separation I made the effort to contact all my neighbours and tell them straight I'm TG , if they see a blond walking to the car or out gardening it will be me . The lady on my right has totally embraced me , the couple opposite were OK but have now decided to , " Duck and Dive !" round me , it's makes them look stupid not me . The couple on my left don't really speak to anyone but that's like a " Red rag to a bull !" for me because I'm possibly over sociable .
As others have said no one expects or forces you to go out , just do what you feel is right and are comfortable with . Remember you're not the only CDer in the World , even in a small town you never know what goes on behind other people's closed doors . Maybe take a peep in other people's shopping basket to see what they're trying to hide .
That'll be why my next sentence referenced how this site can help in dealing with the scene-making idiots. 😉
Welcome to the forum. My only suggestion is to do what is within your comfort zone. It does not make any difference if everyone is alright with your cross dressing if you are not comfortable. Many people on this forum take the show on the road to other cities or towns or to conventions of similar minded people.
Welcome to the forum, Velma.
I have written on this website about positive shopping experiences at both Steven's Point Goodwill locations (Plover is #2). Nothing to report from Waupaca (so far). I never said a word, yet both women behind their respective registers knew that the dresses were for me.
One told me about her crossdressing uncle and the other, after asking if everything fit well, offered an opinion that one of the four dresses I was buying might not work for me. It was the dress I liked the least so I took her advice. We probably talked for another 20 minutes after that.
Granted, a very small sample from the middle of Wisconsin but not far from Iola.
Thank you for the input. Your right very close. Have shopped at all three. Waupaca never seems to have much. Stevens Point has a nice selection most times, But as I said before I have a wonderful collection. Feel guilty wearing them at times but that's another story. Want to think she might understand. Your right not everyone in in the middle of the state has blinders on.
Have a nice day. See you on plover.
Hi Velma,
Welcome to our little community! There's no law that says you have to come out. Just have fun and enjoy yourself.
Robin
I tried to come out to the wife two years ago, went bad!
I would say I'm a good person and she says dressing is sick!
So deep in the closet for me!
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
Hi Velma
You neighbour has obviously put all the clues together and come up with the right answer.
Who knows you may just have found someone to go shopping with.
I get the impression she knows dressing make you happy and she wont do anything to change that.
Welcome Velma, I believe I am in exactly the same situation as you, for 3 years now.
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