My wife is DADT, so there's some things I can't tell her.
My wife was in the bathroom doing her makeup when I asked her a question.
She said, "I'm doing my eyes. I can't talk when I'm doing my eyes."
My unspoken response, "OK, I thought I was the only one who couldn't talk while doing my eyes."
My wife just had a knee replacement,, and has trouble getting into the car.
My unspoken statement is, "Pretend you're wearing a long dress. Sit on the seat with both feet on the ground, and then just swing your feet in."
Anyone have any others?