Some quick background without turning this into a dissertation.
My wife knows I have crossdressing desires, and does not approve. When I first shared with her several years ago (I had worn a pair of her panties to work), her initial response was that she thought it was humorous ("I'm blown away that you wore my panties."), but then it became "I'm afraid I'd be turned off." And it has pretty much stayed in the closet since then. Except for a couple month period last fall when I was overcome by the pink fog, I've pretty much avoided indulging out of respect for her and our relationship.
I brought up the topic again a few weeks ago, and nothing came of it other than her reiterating that she was "uncomfortable" with it. Since then, we've had several "brushes" with the topic - quick remarks that didn't lead to anything further. A week ago, after we got home from church, she asked if anyone had said anything about my purse. (In recent weeks, I've started carrying a purse - I don't consider it overtly feminine, but it is definitely a woman's purse.) Then, Friday night, I described a situation I was facing (I won't go into details, but it gives me a quasi-rational reason unrelated to crossdressing) and announced "I guess I'm going to have to go back to wearing a bra under my shirt." She just rolled her eyes, and went to the bathroom.
Yesterday afternoon, we were in the bathroom getting ready to go meet here daughter and grandson for dinner, and talking about her plans. She was touching up her mascara, and I probably was paying a little bit too close attention, and she says "I suppose you wish you could wear makeup, too?"
I wasn't about to deny it, but I was unprepared for a conversation at that point, so I just chuckled. I didn't want to spoil our visit with here daughter, which I felt it would, and so I let it go.
It's hard to read into her tone. She wasn't angry, but I'd describe it as more a mixture of, perhaps, sadness, disappointment, and contempt. I know I missed an opportunity to have a meaningful discussion, and considered re-opening it when we got home. But, in truth, I'm rather scared of where it will go, and being a little (a lot?) conflict-avoidant.
I'm not sure it I'm asking for advice, or just venting. But any thoughts are welcome. Thanks.