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Thread: Do you pass as a genetic woman?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Aug 2016

    Do you pass as a genetic woman?

    In the thread about having a beard, it has been brought to my attention that a culmination of the reading I have done on the topic of passing is inaccurate.

    While I keep reading about how many of us don't pass but rather try to blend in, others believe that most of us do, in fact, pass as women.

    I don't think that is true. So, I ask you, gentle reader, this simple question:

    Do you 100% pass as a genetic woman when out engaging with the public?

    And if you do, please, please, please share your secrets.

  2. #2
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Bellingham, Wa
    I have no illusions of passing.

    I am a transwoman, I accept that and all I ask is that others accept that too and treat me with the respect and decency they would anyone else.

  3. #3
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    I don't claim to pass but I have had women after talking a few minutes realize that I am not a GG and trans.
    Had some know right off and some never figure it out or just don't care either way and don't comment.
    So to answer your question we do pass up to a point then upon further scrutiny we don't.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Please take a read of my thread in the picture section titled , " Where do I start !" . Perhaps it may give you some idea what the RW actually means in context of passing .

    I'm making no claims of passing , to me it's more to do with belief in yourself , being comfortable and confident with people but as one GG put it , " Not in our faces !"

    If there is any secret I would say forget about labels , people will make their own conclusions and if not they will politely approach the subject , as I found on Sunday while chatting to people .
    Last edited by Teresa; 07-23-2019 at 01:36 PM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Very early, but at zero passers it is shaping up to be the outlier.

    I make no illusions about the real world, I live in it. Your paintings look very close to it as well. They are fantastic. As for pricing them, you have materials at ~60-80 pounds? Maybe more / less, don't know prices or connections with discounts you may have across the pond. Then we add in your time. If it a labor of love, and you enjoy the thought of having your work immortalized in public view, I could see dropping the full price 25-40%.

    I was recently commissioned to do a 2'x3' piece for a friend. They insist on paying something for my time so I cut the price in half. I hope they are happy.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    I only pass at 50' to a blind person. When you go out just act like you belong. The best thing, as you said is to blend. Nothing outrageous unless your clubbing. Most people don't care or even notice if it doesn't affect the directly.


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    I do sometimes. How often people are being polite, I can't say.

    What I can say is that I work as a woman in my own business. After years of dealing with the public on a daily basis, I have developed a confidence that helps immensely. I don't think about it anymore. At least when I am in familiar settings. I think that is a key. Being natural. Which is not something that you can "make" happen. By its very nature.

    At work I had a woman who has been a customer for years recently listen in on a phone conversation when my out of state child called in an emergency. I had to shift voices and when the call was over I looked at her and she said "I never knew..." Perhaps a half dozen times I have had someone remark about my gender. Oth my business partner is a GG and she has been identified as a male about the same number of times. To be fair that was after a bad episode when a child kept pointing at me and said "that's a wig...that's a wig" and the father made some very mean homophobic remarks and stormed out. For a brief period people would wander in and try to figure out which of us was "the tranny". More often than not it was the short haired very tall GG in Jeans and a blouse rather than the long haired woman in a dress. It caused more than few moments of consternation.

    If you think about it. Most of us know a GG who has male facial features, who may give you pause but never really gets "made" as a man. Many of us know women that have voices in a "mans" range, but who are rarely taken as men; face to face.

    I think a large part of it is like acting. Be the part. If you are a woman in your head and ACT like a woman, walk like a woman, hold yourself like a woman and above all do it without thinking; then that goes a long way to passing. The same with your voice, it is not so much the range, it is how you speak, what you say, your word structure, the way you subconsciously move up and down in pitch the way a woman does. Men tend to be monotoned. Above all practice it so much that you dont' think about it. It just is.

  8. #8
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    San Diego
    Some days with some people. Other days not so much. I was mistaken for a GG at a support group meeting The speaker thought I was one of the wives. My wig lady mistook me for a GG once. I delivered the wig in drab and picked it up a few day latter and she said she didn't thinkshe had a wig for me to pick up until I pointed it out. She said she had no idea I wasn't what I appeared as.
    Other times I have been read by a blind man at night. I wish I new what the trick was to 100% I'll say I pass 50 to 60% of the time

  9. #9
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Aug 2016
    Southern California
    There isn’t an easy answer to this because there are many levels of interaction. The hostess at the restaurant probably won’t clock me, but the waiter I have a detailed interaction with probably will.

    Different people also have different levels of awareness. Some people may notice some may not, so I don’t think anyone can say that they pass 100% of the time (excepting trans women from this conversation). As someone who basically can pass in most situations, the biggest “secrets” are 1) makeup. Less is NOT more when it comes to transforming your face into something feminine, and 2) genetics. Some of us have more feminine features to start.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Eugene, Oregon, USA
    100%? No, as there are always going to be some people who know what ‘tells’ to look for, or slip-ups that can be made on my part. But very close to 100%, for me. Most of my social life has been as a woman since late 2014. In August 2018, I left my male identity behind, and as of March of 2019, I am legally female, though I am still in the waiting queues to get both top and bottom surgery. I am 5”10” tall, 225 pounds US weight, and my shoulders are wide enough that I wear size 18-20 or 2X blouses, while wearing size 14-16 or Large pants and skirts. My male voice had a singing range from Bass to High Tenor, usually with a speaking voice in the deep baritone range. And yet, I do pass...

    I have passed 100% while partying all day at close quarters with a group of over a dozen people who were 90% strangers to me, while I was in a skimpy bikini swimsuit. I routinely pass wherever I go, whoever I interact with. I can chat casually with strangers, and usually not have them raise an eyebrow or treat me as anything but female. Only on occasion, when my voice slips, or I am not dressed in a particularly feminine manner, do a few people address me as a male. But that happens less often for me than the reverse happens to some of my more butch, cisgender, lesbian lady friends - where people assume they are male, because they have masculine traits, even though they are cisgender women and not trying to pass as males.

    My secrets?

    First, and strongest, is simply an accident of birth. I am fortunate enough to have fairly androgynous and youthful facial features. I will freely admit that I am ‘one of the lucky ones’ among us, who is close enough in facial structure and to the tall end of female norms to pass convincingly. Yes, I deliberately learned how to use wigs and makeup to emphasize a natural female appearance. But that would not get me as far as it does, if my face wasn’t already close to female norms.

    Second, attitude. My daughter observed, very early on in my outings in public as a woman, that I am clearly comfortable and confident in my feminine role. I ‘own it’, with a clearly carefree attitude that I ‘belong here’, as if I had always been female. She has watched me, both from a distance and from up close, as I have shopped in malls, dined in restaurants, socialized in bars... and she says my actions and attitude are clearly being read as female by virtually everyone I interact with or pass within sight of. Part of that is my acting ability. I carefully observe women I see, and mimic body movement, speech patterns, and other visual and auditory cues. But mostly, it comes from accepting the female aspect in my mind, and allowing ‘her’ to direct my actions and responses to the world around me. I simply behave like the confident, independent woman that I am.

    Third is voice. I know most cross dressers, and even most transgender women, do little to nothing to change their voice. Some here insist it is not possible to sufficiently feminize a male voice so you can pass. Yet I do it every day - even well over half the time when talking over the phone! I downloaded two audio CD lesson sets that I ordered on line, on the subject of feminizing the male voice. I also studied voice changing tips from a very skillful trans youtube presenter, who unfortunately took down their site after they fully transitioned. I used an electronic pitch meter, like you use to tune a musical instrument, to get objective measurement of how I was altering the pitch of my voice. Part of that training was being aware of the inflections and speech patterns women tend to use, and how that differs from male speaking. After four months of working with those resources, I could speak to strangers as a woman, and not have them looking for the male ventriloquist who was playing a joke on them by projecting their deep voice so it seemed to be coming from the woman before them. It is instinctive, now. It is effective enough that people who have known me only as a woman for several years, and who have only heard my ‘girl voice’, literally have their jaws drop in disbelief when I use my old male voice near them. I have been doing it long enough and well enough that it now takes a conscious effort on my part, or me being extremely exhausted, for me to slip back to a male voice! My voice could still improve, but it is pretty good.

    Proper padding and clothes help, a lot. I wear very good quality solid silicone gel breast forms, which feel real when I hug someone, and look and move like real breasts when I move, walk, or dance. I wear a 40-C or 40-D bra with my breast forms, and rarely go for anything larger. I add some padding to the sides of my hips, to reduce the difference between my hips and shoulders. I wear blouse and skirt pairings, selecting colors and styles which reduce how ‘top heavy’ I look.

    I learned to do a fairly minimal, natural looking makeup, and to build from there, when going out nightclubbing or doing other activities where a cisgender woman would use more makeup than their daytime look. I learned to use blush and bronzer to emphasize my cheekbones and de-emphasize my jaw line. I choose hairstyles which frame my face with wavy, longer hair, complementing the feminine facial look.

    Certainly, even with all that, some people still misgender me on occasion. Some clearly do know I am trans, but accept me anyway as a woman. Not everyone can get my results. Some can do far better than me. But it is more achievable than you might think.
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  11. #11
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Twin Cities, MN
    Based upon comments by genetic women and others, I apparently do pass. I have had one-on-one conversations with genetic women who have told others that they had no idea I was not a genetic woman. The woman who has done my nails for years talks to me and asks questions as if I were a genetic woman.

    My "secret"? Partly genetics, partly learning the mannerisms and speech patterns of women, partly dressing and doing my makeup appropriately and always acting as a lady.
    Hugs, Carole

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Seana Summer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Midwest, USA
    No, I don't pass as a GG, not even close. I know Men who could pass as a GG, but I am not one.

    Just a plain ole boring crossdresser

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member joank's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Not even close (in my mind) but I was mistaken once at a Party Supply store until I revealed myself to the checkout girl. The lady behind me said she would never have known if I hadn't said something. That made my day.
    Southern California

  14. #14
    Member Tracy Ann's Avatar
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    Jun 2017
    Not even if my life depended on it

  15. #15
    Silver Member Stephanie Julianna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Prospect, CT
    After all these years I never truly have a clue. I know on occasion I have been mistaken for a gg when dressed and even have surprised some when I have told them I am not transitioned. But unless someone actually challenged my persona I just plod through the day as I see fit, in Glam or Drab. I truly don't care anymore.

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Upstate NY
    It's hard to be objective about ones self. I don't think I can pass but many women have told me I do. I'll assume they are right lol.

  17. #17
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    s.nj near Berlin
    NO I do not.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  18. #18
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    North Carolina
    I am not sure but I seriously doubt it! My counselor seems to think I do and she does not lie to me! But then again, it might just be her opinion! I would say no! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  19. #19
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    I don't "dress to blend". I try to present as an attractive, younger woman. So, cannot normally pass.

    However, a few times at non T venues around Halloween, wearing sexy costumes, I HAVE passed! Until it came to conversations. Then, I was made. The looks on some guy's faces when they heard my voice was PRICELESS!

    When u pass, you'll know it! Because when people believe, without a doubt, u r a female? They treat u very differently than if u r a trans!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  20. #20
    BEING YOUnique is AWESOME Princess Chantal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Winnipeg, MB, Canada
    No I do not believe that I pass as a genetic female and I don’t wish to. As for blending, nope I am not going to wear pyjama bottoms or leggings to blend in with the shoppers at Walmart or to any other supermarket!
    Last edited by Princess Chantal; 07-23-2019 at 08:20 PM.

  21. #21
    Member Valery L's Avatar
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    Jul 2014
    Ames, Iowa
    Sometimes I pass. After meeting many times with a guy I told him that I was not a woman. He didn't know and stopped flirting with me since then.

  22. #22
    Gold Member Rachael Leigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Dallas Ft Worth metro
    I will never claim to pass, however when I wear my wig, which isn’t as often as I use to when out I can blend better and do
    receive the proper pronouns most times as I did when out shopping last week.
    But here’s the thing, since I’ve found confidence in going out in my natural hair and going about my business I’ve found

    I just don’t care, I’m me and don’t think I’ve ever had a nasty look that I’ve noticed and my interactions have all been pleasant

  23. #23
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Area 51
    Exactly how rigorous is this inspection going to be? Under real close scrutiny, Dear Watson, I appear to be, well, male. Suspiciously wearing all female attire and accoutrements! How peculiar.
    Bend to blend. In an occasional photographic moment, I appear to pass. The rest is just blendy or obvious CD fun!
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  24. #24
    Silver Member Marcia Blue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Western Iowa
    I have to say I do not pass most of the time. I have been mistaken as a GG on occasion.
    Marcia (LOVES) Blue

  25. #25
    Junior Member xEvelyn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Almost certainly not, although I don't go around asking people either. It would probably help if I just wore jeans or leggings with sneakers but where is the fun in that?

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