Please stop doing it !!

[Teresa]

I know this thread is going to fly in the face of my one posted in the picture section titled , " Where do I start !"

It all started with a phone call from my wife yesterday , we get on OK now , she brings me up to speed with rest of the family . I then went onto tell her about the possibility that my paintings might be bought by the Civic Society in my old home town and put on permanent display , she told that was wonderful and she was truly proud of me , then there was a pause and then she asked , " As a matter of interest how were you dressed ?" So I told her , she didn't blow a gasket and said she was getting beyond caring BUT it was too soon for my son and grandsons and my mother to be dressed around my old home town . She then added that she really couldn't understand what it was all about when it only comes down to wearing a skirt , not unless I really wanted to be a woman . She did then drag some old history into the conversation but I just told that was history and had been dealt with .

My painting class and all the staff at the Art Centre have fully accepted me and I now have the opportunity to finally rejoin the class in September as Teresa .

So how do I deal with this one , at the moment she is acting as spokesperson for everyone , telling me they won't be happy amd possibly devestating for my grandsons . So I told her my first step is have a one to one conversation with my son and get his true feelings , so she intrerrupted by saying I can tell you what he thinks , then she paused and said if I say more you're going to accuse me of contolling again !! I tried really hard to get an answer from her as to why my revelations would be so harmful especially to my grandsons but she really struggled to find a cast iron reason and all she could come up with they're too young and only really want their grandpa .

The other conversation I need to have is with my mother , I don't think she has the strong objections my wife implies , in those circumstances it may be better to offer to show a picture of me just to break the ice . My wife didn't realise but my mother and I do have very open conversations about my situation .

The bottom line I feel is my wife now bites the bullet and visits me in my home and meets me as Teresa , she may say she's not bothered anymore but to me she is still putting words in other people's mouths because of her fears and feelings and seeing me will settle that situation one way or the other . I know we are now separated and I really don't care what she thinks so I won't now accept her influence affecting other people's thoughts , but I fear she will never change .

I do find all this a little frustrating my wife just wants the dad/grandpa to be available if and when my son chooses to contact me which in the last 18 months has been 3 times . Some may say that's not much to ask and my wife tells me I should respect and consider my son but are they respecting and considering me ? I've told my wife how hard it is now to revert to male mode now I'm living full time .