Please stop doing it !!

[Teresa]

Eemz,
That is the whole point for whatever reason she doesn't " Hate my guts !" The truth be known she knows she's made a big mistake . No I don't believe everything she tells me anymore she's bent the truth too many times , she is gradually learning she can't speak for everyone but she has had that controlling influence over all of us for many years , it takes time to adjust to it . Yes my kids are grown adults but at times she still treats them like kids , maybe it's a lack of maturity in her .

I totally agree I will have to talk to my son direct but have been talking to my daughter for some time but as I mentioned my wife made it very difficult for my daughter .

[Stephanie47]

Stephanie,
The only conversation will be with my son , I certainly won't attempt to talk to my grandsons over the issue it will be up to the parents . You know the answer to the other question as I'm living full time , this is what the separation was mostly

I wouldn't make the comment if I truly thought I knew the answer. Your journey has been followed on this forum. Wearing women's clothing and appearing as a woman full time does not necessarily convey to your family that you're a pre-operative transsexual. I have to assume that is the person you feel you are. In my mind that is totally different than a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing, but, still considers himself to be a man. I read many posts of this forum from those who would relish living full time as a woman, but, really do not seem to convey a belief they are females "trapped" in a male body. Maybe your family members are viewing your wearing women's clothing as a "hobby." Frankly, you are no longer "cross dressing." You are wearing the clothing suitable by society's standards for a woman. Sometimes a person has to take the bull by its horns and set everyone straight as to what is really going on.

Maybe, what is needed to convey to members of your family is a more clinical discussion. Maybe you have done that and I have missed a post or two about that. You are not engaging in a hobby which is a word I really do not like to see on this forum.

As many have stated if members of your family reject you, then that's on them. You need to tell those who seem to want to hold onto your past life that he or she needs to get with the program. If I was in your family dynamics the only concession I would make is to tone it down when interacting with them. What I mean is to show up in women's pants and tops with light makeup and forego the dress, hosiery and heels and heavy makeup. A more casual look than a date night look.

[Teresa]

Stephanie ,
You are on the money in your first paragraph but then I've always been honest with my situation . I'm not sure if they see it as a hobby , I feel they've seen enough evidence in the media to know where I am . If I was going to quit and chicken out it would have happened in the first six months but now I'm 18 months in and getting more and more comfortable with it they know it's for keeps . The basic problem is it's taking them time to readjust , I have left a big hole in their lives and they haven't discovered yet how to allow me to fill that void apart from my daughter .

The basis of this thread is my wife feels I've pushed too hard right on their doorstep ( hence the title ) so I don't feel interacting with them in an inbetween mode is the answer , there's only one way and that's all or nothing .

At the moment I have made it clear to them that I see no benifit in starting hormones or steps beyond that , I've posted in the past on this subject in the NB and TS sections .

[Majella St Gerard]

If you allow other people to control your life than you really can't complain. Live your life on your terms and speak for yourself.

[Teresa]

THREAD UPDATE

I had to visit my mother today and took the opprtunity to explain the situation with my paintings and the way I looked when I met everyone at the art exhibition , I then went on to tell her my wife thought I was being disrespectful to her . Her reply was that my wife had no right to speak for everyone, if I'm happier dressed then perhaps I should do it full time , she did add that my sister and her family may not be happy accepting it but it probably wouldn't make that much differnce , for 90 years old she really is a GEM !!