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Thread: Being a MIAD

  1. #26
    New Member Nikki_Caden's Avatar
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    A man in a dress or a woman in drab? At any given time I may either one or somewhere along the scale. I hate absolute labels.

  2. #27
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    I do the MIAD, mostly because the body, and dressing is the easy part. The face and hair takes a bit more work and I do not have the time or ambition to deal with it. I can toss on a few female articles of clothing in a couple minutes and from the neck down I like my appearance. From the neck up it would take some time with a professional and still not look great!

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    GeorgeA,
    You asked these questions of GeorgeA, but I thought I'd add to the conversation as another man-in-a-dress. I've followed your posts here and have appreciated your viewpoint overall. I appreciate the fact that you experience the world with some significant dysphoria. As a MIAD, I just don't experience the world that way at all. I see myself more as being like the early adopting pants-wearing women who went against social norms without necessarily wanting to be men.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    May I ask this question , have you or would you ever clean shave and do the whole thing out in the RW to see what difference it makes to you ?
    Oddly, my beard and my crossdressing developed at the same time. As a young man I had too many bare spots to grow the beard I'd expected to grow since my early teens. Then I worked a job for decades that required me to be clean shaven, except for a mustache. Testosterone treatments in my early 50's coincided with a job change and I finally am able to grow the beard I'd always wanted to have. I've lived longer than i wanted without the beard. My taste in clothes hasn't changed that.

    My beard covers some facial structure defects that made feel very unattractive and I would not feel any more attractive as a woman.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    I know you admit to being a shy and introvert person but I often wonder with MIADs if it's a hurdle they feel they can never jump .
    I am not shy so much, but I am an introvert to the core. My status as MIAD really has nothing to do with introversion at all. And I'm not seeing it as a hurdle so much as just a fence that I don't mind looking over, but don't necessarily want to cross.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    I agree with Jean being out as a MIAD must be harder , I couldn't do it but then I have dysphoria and want the male side gone .
    I'm not sure it's "harder". I think that both MIAD and dysphoric crossdressers face their own obstacles. And, I think our different states can cause issues for the other. For the SO's of MIAD's, the fear that the MIAD is just a delayed transitioner is a major complication. I started experimenting with women's clothes and began the conversation with my wife at about the same time that Bruce Jenner became Katylin. That didn't help her insecurities.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    The point I'm making is you never know until you try , I still look back to when I joined this forum and read the stories of members who were totally out in the RW , at that time I felt we were on differnt planets now here I am living my dream and passing on my stories to others .
    I appreciate your stories and wish you the the very best in life. But, just like so many other things that I "might like" if I tried them, I just don't have the desire, especially given the potential cost to my marriage if I pursued them.

    I totally like my boy plumbing and my 'he/him' pronouns. I totally get that that's not how many others feel.


    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    I hope no one accuses me of projecting , I'm just asking a simple question to you .
    I wouldn't call it projecting at all and it's a legitimate and appreciated question.
    Last edited by Bea_; 07-26-2019 at 08:47 AM.
    To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller

  4. #29
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Tracy, I'm not implying or urging George to go any further
    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    GeorgeA, would you ever do the whole thing out in the RW?

    you never know until you try
    Of course your not!

  5. #30
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    Bea/Tracy,
    I appreciate your replies but my question was for GeorgeA , I'm sure he is more than capable of replying for himself .

    Tracy,
    I never know how to take your replies , whether they are just acknowledgements or a touch sarcastic .

    Bea,
    That's an interesting point about T levels , so much for us no matter where we are on the spectrum appears to revolve around T levels . I believe my problem goes back to the age of 8-9 when my T kicked in on top of having a female trait from birth .
    Last edited by Teresa; 07-26-2019 at 09:10 AM.

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    Teresa,
    Thanks. I'll keep it in mind next time.
    To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller

  7. #32
    Member Maria_mtf's Avatar
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    I think I read all this thread however if my question is already answered I am sorry. I am curious GeorgeA you like lingerie so do you wear bras, if so padded ones or do you use breast forms? I guess there are 2 reasons for boobs, to look womenly or to fill a dress, as a MIAD do you like to have them?

    I haven't decided my label yet but I related to the original post around CDrs pretending to be a women. I am a man and I look forward to the day I can go out dolled up on a gno and pretend to be a women, because I believe always be a man (I think).

  8. #33
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    GeorgeA,
    May I ask this question , have you or would you ever clean shave and do the whole thing out in the RW to see what difference it makes to you ?

    I know you admit to being a shy and introvert person but I often wonder with MIADs if it's a hurdle they feel they can never jump . I agree with Jean being out as a MIAD must be harder , I couldn't do it but then I have dysphoria and want the male side gone .

    The point I'm making is you never know until you try , I still look back to when I joined this forum and read the stories of members who were totally out in the RW , at that time I felt we were on differnt planets now here I am living my dream and passing on my stories to others .

    I hope no one accuses me of projecting , I'm just asking a simple question to you .
    Teresa, I am not interested at all to have any female traits. I have no dysphoria. I am a male who just likes to wear clothes that women wore long ago, they wear trousers now. I do not want to look, behave, talk or walk like a woman. I was having my lunch on my porch when the mail-carrier brought the mail. She said have a nice day and smiled, a friendly smile as she probably noticed the top of my dress, as the bottom was covered by the table. I think she probably seen me before maybe not so obviously in a dress but still not a regular guy's stuff. So people accept us sometimes.

    I wish we, MIADs could go in RW the way you do now and were accepted the way you are.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Maria_mtf View Post
    I think I read all this thread however if my question is already answered I am sorry. I am curious GeorgeA you like lingerie so do you wear bras, if so padded ones or do you use breast forms? I guess there are 2 reasons for boobs, to look womenly or to fill a dress, as a MIAD do you like to have them?

    I haven't decided my label yet but I related to the original post around CDrs pretending to be a women. I am a man and I look forward to the day I can go out dolled up on a gno and pretend to be a women, because I believe always be a man (I think).
    Hi Maria,
    No I do not wear or like bras, forms, enhancements, etc. I am not interested in presenting feminine at all. See my answer to Teresa above. I do no longer think that what I wear is feminine, it's just my regular attire AS A MALE.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by BrendaPDX View Post
    Hi GeorgeA, It is interesting how we vary so much in some ways and are so similar in others. I enjoyed your observations. But mostly I like being in a place where we can all express ourselves honestly and have respectful feedback (mostly). Thank you for sharing.
    Brenda, thank you for your comments. This forum is such a great place that even misfits like I, can feel comfortable expressing ideas that go against the mainstream of crossdressing and not being vilified but spark a meaningful conversation.

    This proves that any subject that is presented in proper and dignified manner can be discussed by all, even those that are opposed to the idea being presented.

    Could we suggest something like that to some of our politicians?.
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  9. #34
    Junior Member Robert's Avatar
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    I'm not a man in a dress. I don't like dresses too much.

    I'm a bald headed bodybuilder who likes to wear attractive things. Many of these items are only available in the women's section of clothing stores. I'm not trying to emulate a woman.
    Last edited by Robert; 07-27-2019 at 08:44 AM.
    I’m not wearing women’s clothes.
    I bought them. I’m wearing my clothes.
    Eddie Izzard

  10. #35
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    First I'm not telling you how to live your life. You are the one that has to live it.

    What would you do?

    You are dining alone, seated in the out door section of a restaurant. It is a hot summer day, it is a tourist town an.
    You just finished a nice walk around town. Wondering in and out of shops.

    Now you are a CD, just learning the ropes. So presentation not the best. You are wearing a skirt and blouse, full makeup, wedges.

    A MAID walks up and asks if he can join you. He is a heavy set man in a maxi skirt.

    The maitre d rushes over to save you.

    What do you do?

    I told everyone that it was ok. The man and his traveling companion that had come up behind them sat down. His companion was apologizing for his friend, I stopped him and assured him I was ok with them joining me. We had a nice talk about mostly his life.

    What kind of person would I be if I can not accept someone just because they choose to dress differently?

  11. #36
    Member Mark B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suzanne View Post
    i think members of this site are over all pretty good at recognizing that we must respect each other, regardless of our minor differences in dressing philosophy. Everyone has their own story of how they got here and how they coped with the obstacles they faced. In my own case, grew up in a time, place and family dynamic that despised femininity in males, so I had a long, difficult time accepting myself and gathering the courage to express my true nature. I understand those of us who remain closeted or choose to express themselves differently from me; we all deal with our issues in a way that works for us. I am encouraged by the fact that most members of this forum are older. It suggests that younger crossdressers face less of the visceral homophobia I was raised with.

    Myself, I dislike the term transvestite. It sounds to me like a psychiatric pathology that must be removed by drastic means if necessary. And I'm only slightly enamored about the acronym MIAD, although it is perhaps the best descriptor of my own version of dressing. When asked, I tell people I am gender fluid. I am neither hiding nor advertising my dressing, or making any statements. The only thing I'm doing is claiming my space to be myself. Of course people will notice a man in a skirt so I feel it's vital to do it as well and tastefully as possible. I assume I am the first crossdresser an individual meets and I want to represent well so that person might accept more easily the next one they meet. I act exactly the same whether dressed or drab, I answer all questions in a respectful manner and I receive compliments graciously whether they are given sincerely or sarcastically.

    I have been generally well received by most women, and I have been told I am "an original" and "the bravest person I know". Men usually ignore or avoid me, which is okay. Some have asked questions, which I have answered. But mostly I act and converse like a normal man and the fact that I am wearing a dress and heels quickly becomes unimportant, or "Not A Big Deal" as I like to call it.

    So I am probably more visible in public than those of us who aspire to be stealthy or passable as a woman. But that's a natural consequence of my preferred presentation. It is my hope that someday it won't matter that I choose to wear "women's" clothes. I am just a person who lives somewhat outside the box.
    Suzzane, I could not agree more. When I first read you post I thought it was me that had written this. Although you are much better at expressing yourself in words than I am. Must be the engineer in me.
    I also dislike the word transvestite! Reminds my of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I too, try my best to represent the MIS or MIAD as best as I can. I do stand out when out in public as I am the only one wearing high heels and a skirt. Women included. The shiny bald head and loud clicking sound of the heels often turn heads. Also, I do not hide the fact that I am a man. And I hope in my travels while skirted help pave the path for others. I seldom wear pants anymore, so the only time I am in full male is when I am wearing shorts, a tee shirt or polo, and sneakers. I also have noticed more women will stop and compliment me and my "Style". Most will say that I walk in high heels better than they ever have. Men, as you said, just ignore me and the ones that do approach me usually ask how I can walk in the heels without breaking an ankle. But mostly I act like a normal man and the fact that I am wearing a skirt and heels quickly becomes unimportant, or "Not A Big Deal" as you and I like to call it. I always say I am just a straight male that just wants to incorporate a skirt and high heels into my daily office attire.

    GeorgeA, we are a lot alike and yet so different. As you mentioned everyone has their own style.
    Last edited by Mark B; 08-01-2019 at 01:43 PM.
    I was told I have balls for wearing skirts! My reply? "That's because balls this big won't fit in pants!"

  12. #37
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Having seen your pics, Mark, I'd like to point out that the word style needs no "air quotes". Your ability to pull together outfits featuring both make and female attire is impressive.

    Your uncompromising owning of your style is inspirational.

  13. #38
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    I appreciate the diversity of experiences and thought in this online community. When a person is sincere about their self expression, that is powerful. I don't have to agree with it, but we should all be respectful of other's choices. If you want to be a man in a dress, that's great. The spectrum of crossdressing ranges from those who occasionally wear a few garments in the privacy of their own home to MIADs to those of us who go out and seek to blend in or pass. All of these experiences are valid and very personal. Learning about so many different perspectives has really enriched me and helped me better understand my own motives for dressing. I really appreciate that.

  14. #39
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    Abbiedrake,

    Your uncompromising owning of your style is inspirational.

    I just love your expression. It's Mark, alright.
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  15. #40
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Mark's postings have inspired me to wear heels at work. I did it again this week. It is quite obvious on linoleum floors so I won't be doing it every day. But it won't be the last time either.

  16. #41
    Member Helena's Avatar
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    Mark, I agree with Abbie completely - inspirational. Sharp and stylish. When I get braver I want to try similar, though will have to stick with lower heels lol.

  17. #42
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maid_Marion View Post
    Mark's postings have inspired me to wear heels at work. I did it again this week. It is quite obvious on linoleum floors so I won't be doing it every day. But it won't be the last time either.
    Good for you, Marion.
    Even though, I am no fan of high-heels I applaud your attempts. We all do what we prefer and when we prefer. Are you going to wear a skirt next time?
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  18. #43
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    No, the only skirt I have is a jeans skirt I wear for my lap cat.

    After learning to sew I figured out that I can look really good in fitted XS clothes out of the Juniors' department. And sometimes the Petites department, without the hassle of alternations.
    If it doesn't fit, its because the shoulders are too wide. Not really XS, vanity sizing. A totally different world in that just about everything now comes in my size.

    Like a lot of GGs, I have issues with the office being too cold. I've been experimenting with layering clothes to stay warm.
    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 08-04-2019 at 09:23 PM.

  19. #44
    Junior Member Robinadress's Avatar
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    I am also a MIAD and a MIAS. I have been like that my whole life. In the beginning I called myself a transvestite because of what I read. For a period I wore wigs and makeup, but only because I thought I had to do it. Deep inside I never felt like a female, I was always a man I women clothes. With the wig and makeup I felt like I was someone different than myself. When I threw the wig and makeup away I felt more real. For the last decade I have never looked back and identify my self as a man in a skirt just because I like wearing skirts. I have been a lot of places and different situations wearing a skirt and a dress. From the neck and up I am just a man, and I still identify as masculine. Even though I still identify as a crossdresser because I like to wear women’s clothes.

  20. #45
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    Hi Robinadress,

    Your life story resembles mine in many ways. In my early days I thought that to be a transvestite you had to follow certain rules and do things properly. But whose rules and why?

    I followed them in my early days but gradually discovered that certain items I don't like. So I stopped wearing bras, women's shoes, jewellery, etc. I was never into makeup but tried lipstick just a few times.

    So i have evolved from a transvestite into a MIAD. I live my life as a men dressed in skirts, lingerie, nylons and I feel a MAN never a WOMAN. I have no more feminine traits than a regular, non-crossdressing male. Being gentle, kind and considerate is as much masculinity as femininity. Many of the macho men suppress those feeling as not being worthy of a "real man".

    You are a way ahead of me in that you are going out as a MIAD. You, MarkB and Philli are our "good-will" ambassadors in the RW.
    Maybe the future generations will be able to dress the way they like and live normal lives among the rest of the population.
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  21. #46
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    I am probably unusual in that I do both the full dressed as woman thing but perhaps 10% of the time I just wear a dress as a man. I never identify as a woman but if I am out I feel good if I look good with a woman look. It needs more courage to do MIAD - I usually do this to go dress shopping in very hot weather - no wig or make up or hose but I shave my legs and armpits and my legs have a good shape that is enhanced by heels so I often wear these as MIAD. I don't overthink this - I just do it. I am going out tomorrow but in full fig - wig, make up and scent (and probably sheer tights).

  22. #47
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    robinadress and georgea sound like my story too. As a teenager I would do the fake boobs and aim for a womanly look since that is what the crossdressers on tv. When I came back to dressing 2 years ago, I went down that route again but realized I didn't want to be a woman. I could pick and choose the things I liked (skirts, dresses, toenail polish, grow my hair out, jewelry, sometimes heels) and ignore the parts I didn't like (fake boobs, makeup, hair removal, tucking, panties). I accept that I have a male body with an affinity for feminine things (and some masculine things). My default mode is a t-shirt and skirt. Occasionally a dress. I am out partially (at home, in my yard, at work, but my wife doesn't want me to dress in our town to avoid bullying of our kids).

  23. #48
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    I'm not a MIAD. I haven't worn a dress in years. I dress however I feel like dressing. I wear a bra every day. Some days with padding, some without. Panties every day. I wear mostly t-shirts and jeans some women's some men's. I prefer leggings. Shorts in the summer with shaved legs. I like them shaved. I shave my armpits too. I don't try to be a woman or even try to look like one. I shower with shower gel marketed to women. Do I feel feminine? Not at all. I've tried makeup but it was too much of a pain. I tried lipstick and gloss. I like it but my wife said no.
    So am I a crossdresser? I consider myself to be a good person. Labels are not important to me. Just be whatever or whoever you want to be.
    Life's too short to be unhappy.

  24. #49
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeorgeA View Post
    >>SNIP<< I could never relate to their feelings.

    >>SNIP<< Judging by the picture gallery most are doing an excellent job of disguise. They really look like women. Just to be clear: I’m talking about cressdressers not transgenders, who are another species.

    >>SNIP<< I do not play a role, pretending that I am “this” or “that”; I am simply who I am.

    >>SNIP<<

    As I said before, I have no problem with those who do it differently than I.

    I also have no problem with those who criticise MIAD’s way of life. You are entitled to your opinion and I respect that, as I respect your way of life, even though it may be different than mine.

    We are all crossdressers and have affinity for one another. We may be slightly different, yet the same.
    WOW! Judgmental much? Despite your claims that you have "...no problems with those who do it differently than I." , your language is very aggressive. Your use of terms such as 'role playing', and 'disguise', convey a message that you are disdainful of other crossdressers, and that your dressing is somehow 'purer'. Except this little bit gives it away...

    Quote Originally Posted by GeorgeA View Post
    What I put on in the morning I wear all day, with only a minor modification of putting on trousers instead of a skirt when going out.
    I bet if I made a comment about people "playing at dressing up at home", there would be some ruffled feathers around here.


    You "simply want to be who you are", and that's fine. So do the rest of the people on this forum, and in the world. But you can do so without looking down your nose at others who do things differently than you, yeah?
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  25. #50
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    Jodie Lynn,

    I am sorry that you feel that way about my comments.

    I want to tell you that you would be hard-pressed to find a more accepting person. I am not disdainful or look down on others.
    There is nothing wrong in role playing. Theatres been around for millenia. I accept the fact that we are all different and do thing differently. There is no right or wrong way to do it, as long no harm is done to others.

    My way of doing is no "purer" or better than others, it just suits me better.

    No "ruffled feathers" here, as I am never offended by other people disagreeing with, and I never offend others.
    I am a peaceful and easy to get along person, and if you looking for a fight you got a wrong man, here. I have never been in a fight and never will.

    All the best to you as we remain friends.
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

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