A man in a dress or a woman in drab? At any given time I may either one or somewhere along the scale. I hate absolute labels.
A man in a dress or a woman in drab? At any given time I may either one or somewhere along the scale. I hate absolute labels.
I do the MIAD, mostly because the body, and dressing is the easy part. The face and hair takes a bit more work and I do not have the time or ambition to deal with it. I can toss on a few female articles of clothing in a couple minutes and from the neck down I like my appearance. From the neck up it would take some time with a professional and still not look great!
You asked these questions of GeorgeA, but I thought I'd add to the conversation as another man-in-a-dress. I've followed your posts here and have appreciated your viewpoint overall. I appreciate the fact that you experience the world with some significant dysphoria. As a MIAD, I just don't experience the world that way at all. I see myself more as being like the early adopting pants-wearing women who went against social norms without necessarily wanting to be men.
Oddly, my beard and my crossdressing developed at the same time. As a young man I had too many bare spots to grow the beard I'd expected to grow since my early teens. Then I worked a job for decades that required me to be clean shaven, except for a mustache. Testosterone treatments in my early 50's coincided with a job change and I finally am able to grow the beard I'd always wanted to have. I've lived longer than i wanted without the beard. My taste in clothes hasn't changed that.
My beard covers some facial structure defects that made feel very unattractive and I would not feel any more attractive as a woman.
I am not shy so much, but I am an introvert to the core. My status as MIAD really has nothing to do with introversion at all. And I'm not seeing it as a hurdle so much as just a fence that I don't mind looking over, but don't necessarily want to cross.
I'm not sure it's "harder". I think that both MIAD and dysphoric crossdressers face their own obstacles. And, I think our different states can cause issues for the other. For the SO's of MIAD's, the fear that the MIAD is just a delayed transitioner is a major complication. I started experimenting with women's clothes and began the conversation with my wife at about the same time that Bruce Jenner became Katylin. That didn't help her insecurities.
I appreciate your stories and wish you the the very best in life. But, just like so many other things that I "might like" if I tried them, I just don't have the desire, especially given the potential cost to my marriage if I pursued them.
I totally like my boy plumbing and my 'he/him' pronouns. I totally get that that's not how many others feel.
I wouldn't call it projecting at all and it's a legitimate and appreciated question.
Last edited by Bea_; 07-26-2019 at 08:47 AM.
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller
Bea/Tracy,
I appreciate your replies but my question was for GeorgeA , I'm sure he is more than capable of replying for himself .
Tracy,
I never know how to take your replies , whether they are just acknowledgements or a touch sarcastic .
Bea,
That's an interesting point about T levels , so much for us no matter where we are on the spectrum appears to revolve around T levels . I believe my problem goes back to the age of 8-9 when my T kicked in on top of having a female trait from birth .
Last edited by Teresa; 07-26-2019 at 09:10 AM.
Teresa,
Thanks. I'll keep it in mind next time.
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller
I think I read all this thread however if my question is already answered I am sorry. I am curious GeorgeA you like lingerie so do you wear bras, if so padded ones or do you use breast forms? I guess there are 2 reasons for boobs, to look womenly or to fill a dress, as a MIAD do you like to have them?
I haven't decided my label yet but I related to the original post around CDrs pretending to be a women. I am a man and I look forward to the day I can go out dolled up on a gno and pretend to be a women, because I believe always be a man (I think).
Teresa, I am not interested at all to have any female traits. I have no dysphoria. I am a male who just likes to wear clothes that women wore long ago, they wear trousers now. I do not want to look, behave, talk or walk like a woman. I was having my lunch on my porch when the mail-carrier brought the mail. She said have a nice day and smiled, a friendly smile as she probably noticed the top of my dress, as the bottom was covered by the table. I think she probably seen me before maybe not so obviously in a dress but still not a regular guy's stuff. So people accept us sometimes.
I wish we, MIADs could go in RW the way you do now and were accepted the way you are.
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Hi Maria,
No I do not wear or like bras, forms, enhancements, etc. I am not interested in presenting feminine at all. See my answer to Teresa above. I do no longer think that what I wear is feminine, it's just my regular attire AS A MALE.
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Brenda, thank you for your comments. This forum is such a great place that even misfits like I, can feel comfortable expressing ideas that go against the mainstream of crossdressing and not being vilified but spark a meaningful conversation.
This proves that any subject that is presented in proper and dignified manner can be discussed by all, even those that are opposed to the idea being presented.
Could we suggest something like that to some of our politicians?.
GeorgeA
formerly Salerba
"a miad" Man-in-a-Dress
I'm not a man in a dress. I don't like dresses too much.
I'm a bald headed bodybuilder who likes to wear attractive things. Many of these items are only available in the women's section of clothing stores. I'm not trying to emulate a woman.
Last edited by Robert; 07-27-2019 at 08:44 AM.
I’m not wearing women’s clothes.
I bought them. I’m wearing my clothes.
Eddie Izzard
First I'm not telling you how to live your life. You are the one that has to live it.
What would you do?
You are dining alone, seated in the out door section of a restaurant. It is a hot summer day, it is a tourist town an.
You just finished a nice walk around town. Wondering in and out of shops.
Now you are a CD, just learning the ropes. So presentation not the best. You are wearing a skirt and blouse, full makeup, wedges.
A MAID walks up and asks if he can join you. He is a heavy set man in a maxi skirt.
The maitre d rushes over to save you.
What do you do?
I told everyone that it was ok. The man and his traveling companion that had come up behind them sat down. His companion was apologizing for his friend, I stopped him and assured him I was ok with them joining me. We had a nice talk about mostly his life.
What kind of person would I be if I can not accept someone just because they choose to dress differently?
Suzzane, I could not agree more. When I first read you post I thought it was me that had written this. Although you are much better at expressing yourself in words than I am. Must be the engineer in me.
I also dislike the word transvestite! Reminds my of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I too, try my best to represent the MIS or MIAD as best as I can. I do stand out when out in public as I am the only one wearing high heels and a skirt. Women included. The shiny bald head and loud clicking sound of the heels often turn heads. Also, I do not hide the fact that I am a man. And I hope in my travels while skirted help pave the path for others. I seldom wear pants anymore, so the only time I am in full male is when I am wearing shorts, a tee shirt or polo, and sneakers. I also have noticed more women will stop and compliment me and my "Style". Most will say that I walk in high heels better than they ever have. Men, as you said, just ignore me and the ones that do approach me usually ask how I can walk in the heels without breaking an ankle. But mostly I act like a normal man and the fact that I am wearing a skirt and heels quickly becomes unimportant, or "Not A Big Deal" as you and I like to call it. I always say I am just a straight male that just wants to incorporate a skirt and high heels into my daily office attire.
GeorgeA, we are a lot alike and yet so different. As you mentioned everyone has their own style.
Last edited by Mark B; 08-01-2019 at 01:43 PM.
I was told I have balls for wearing skirts! My reply? "That's because balls this big won't fit in pants!"
Having seen your pics, Mark, I'd like to point out that the word style needs no "air quotes". Your ability to pull together outfits featuring both make and female attire is impressive.
Your uncompromising owning of your style is inspirational.
I appreciate the diversity of experiences and thought in this online community. When a person is sincere about their self expression, that is powerful. I don't have to agree with it, but we should all be respectful of other's choices. If you want to be a man in a dress, that's great. The spectrum of crossdressing ranges from those who occasionally wear a few garments in the privacy of their own home to MIADs to those of us who go out and seek to blend in or pass. All of these experiences are valid and very personal. Learning about so many different perspectives has really enriched me and helped me better understand my own motives for dressing. I really appreciate that.
Abbiedrake,
Your uncompromising owning of your style is inspirational.
I just love your expression. It's Mark, alright.
GeorgeA
formerly Salerba
"a miad" Man-in-a-Dress
Mark's postings have inspired me to wear heels at work. I did it again this week. It is quite obvious on linoleum floors so I won't be doing it every day. But it won't be the last time either.
Mark, I agree with Abbie completely - inspirational. Sharp and stylish. When I get braver I want to try similar, though will have to stick with lower heels lol.
No, the only skirt I have is a jeans skirt I wear for my lap cat.
After learning to sew I figured out that I can look really good in fitted XS clothes out of the Juniors' department. And sometimes the Petites department, without the hassle of alternations.
If it doesn't fit, its because the shoulders are too wide. Not really XS, vanity sizing. A totally different world in that just about everything now comes in my size.
Like a lot of GGs, I have issues with the office being too cold. I've been experimenting with layering clothes to stay warm.
Last edited by Maid_Marion; 08-04-2019 at 09:23 PM.
I am also a MIAD and a MIAS. I have been like that my whole life. In the beginning I called myself a transvestite because of what I read. For a period I wore wigs and makeup, but only because I thought I had to do it. Deep inside I never felt like a female, I was always a man I women clothes. With the wig and makeup I felt like I was someone different than myself. When I threw the wig and makeup away I felt more real. For the last decade I have never looked back and identify my self as a man in a skirt just because I like wearing skirts. I have been a lot of places and different situations wearing a skirt and a dress. From the neck and up I am just a man, and I still identify as masculine. Even though I still identify as a crossdresser because I like to wear women’s clothes.
Hi Robinadress,
Your life story resembles mine in many ways. In my early days I thought that to be a transvestite you had to follow certain rules and do things properly. But whose rules and why?
I followed them in my early days but gradually discovered that certain items I don't like. So I stopped wearing bras, women's shoes, jewellery, etc. I was never into makeup but tried lipstick just a few times.
So i have evolved from a transvestite into a MIAD. I live my life as a men dressed in skirts, lingerie, nylons and I feel a MAN never a WOMAN. I have no more feminine traits than a regular, non-crossdressing male. Being gentle, kind and considerate is as much masculinity as femininity. Many of the macho men suppress those feeling as not being worthy of a "real man".
You are a way ahead of me in that you are going out as a MIAD. You, MarkB and Philli are our "good-will" ambassadors in the RW.
Maybe the future generations will be able to dress the way they like and live normal lives among the rest of the population.
GeorgeA
formerly Salerba
"a miad" Man-in-a-Dress
I am probably unusual in that I do both the full dressed as woman thing but perhaps 10% of the time I just wear a dress as a man. I never identify as a woman but if I am out I feel good if I look good with a woman look. It needs more courage to do MIAD - I usually do this to go dress shopping in very hot weather - no wig or make up or hose but I shave my legs and armpits and my legs have a good shape that is enhanced by heels so I often wear these as MIAD. I don't overthink this - I just do it. I am going out tomorrow but in full fig - wig, make up and scent (and probably sheer tights).
robinadress and georgea sound like my story too. As a teenager I would do the fake boobs and aim for a womanly look since that is what the crossdressers on tv. When I came back to dressing 2 years ago, I went down that route again but realized I didn't want to be a woman. I could pick and choose the things I liked (skirts, dresses, toenail polish, grow my hair out, jewelry, sometimes heels) and ignore the parts I didn't like (fake boobs, makeup, hair removal, tucking, panties). I accept that I have a male body with an affinity for feminine things (and some masculine things). My default mode is a t-shirt and skirt. Occasionally a dress. I am out partially (at home, in my yard, at work, but my wife doesn't want me to dress in our town to avoid bullying of our kids).
I'm not a MIAD. I haven't worn a dress in years. I dress however I feel like dressing. I wear a bra every day. Some days with padding, some without. Panties every day. I wear mostly t-shirts and jeans some women's some men's. I prefer leggings. Shorts in the summer with shaved legs. I like them shaved. I shave my armpits too. I don't try to be a woman or even try to look like one. I shower with shower gel marketed to women. Do I feel feminine? Not at all. I've tried makeup but it was too much of a pain. I tried lipstick and gloss. I like it but my wife said no.
So am I a crossdresser? I consider myself to be a good person. Labels are not important to me. Just be whatever or whoever you want to be.
Life's too short to be unhappy.
WOW! Judgmental much? Despite your claims that you have "...no problems with those who do it differently than I." , your language is very aggressive. Your use of terms such as 'role playing', and 'disguise', convey a message that you are disdainful of other crossdressers, and that your dressing is somehow 'purer'. Except this little bit gives it away...
I bet if I made a comment about people "playing at dressing up at home", there would be some ruffled feathers around here.
You "simply want to be who you are", and that's fine. So do the rest of the people on this forum, and in the world. But you can do so without looking down your nose at others who do things differently than you, yeah?
Before you can love another, you must first like yourself
I Aim To Misbehave
Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!
Jodie Lynn,
I am sorry that you feel that way about my comments.
I want to tell you that you would be hard-pressed to find a more accepting person. I am not disdainful or look down on others.
There is nothing wrong in role playing. Theatres been around for millenia. I accept the fact that we are all different and do thing differently. There is no right or wrong way to do it, as long no harm is done to others.
My way of doing is no "purer" or better than others, it just suits me better.
No "ruffled feathers" here, as I am never offended by other people disagreeing with, and I never offend others.
I am a peaceful and easy to get along person, and if you looking for a fight you got a wrong man, here. I have never been in a fight and never will.
All the best to you as we remain friends.
GeorgeA
formerly Salerba
"a miad" Man-in-a-Dress