Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: Name your challenge .

  1. #1
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    10,626

    Name your challenge .

    I was going to ask just members out in the RW this question but we all have challenges so I guess it might be intertesting to read what others face .

    OK back to one of mine .
    This morning I had to do the supermarket trolley dash , I admit I'd forgotten the school holidays had started and the super market was full of reluctant little helpers . It's been warm so I slipped on a denim skirt just above the knee , fairly tight with a split up the thigh , a tightish Tshirt and my wedges , not that out of place with other shoppers . I never have a problem in supermarkets no matter how crowded , I just chat to the staff and other shoppers quite normally .
    On my way home I had to post my electoral role letter back to the council , I have a post box near my home but at the moment it's blocked off with roadworks so I chose the next one which is on a very busy junction . I managed to park on the opposite side of the road so had to walk down the postbox , I stood and waited for sometime for a gap in the traffic and did I get eyeballed , so I finally posted the letter and then had to do the crossover again more eyeballing !!

    I can deal with this but it does feel a challenge , I normally try and not make eye contact .

    Looking at it from the other side when I was more of a red blooded young man , sitting in my car in these circumstances didn't I take a good look at the local talent passing by while Mr. Slowcoach in front struggled to find first gear sometime after the lights had turned green !!
    The real me ,no going back.

  2. #2
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    21,579
    I just take each day at a time and really don't think about challenges.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
    Expert plumpologist

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    10,626
    Tracci,
    I'm not looking for them but surely you must have moments that challenge you a little ?
    The real me ,no going back.

  4. #4
    New Member Nikki_Caden's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    near North Topsail Beach, NC
    Posts
    11
    This is an easy one. Family! I have grown daughters that still feel like my home is still their home. Their unannounced comings and goings, my wardrobe, shoes, wigs and makeup are all one snoop away from being found. I know that one day, I'm going to have to explain. Not looking forward to it.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Midlands UK
    Posts
    4,681
    Teresa,

    I've obviously not spent anywhere near as much time as your good self and a good many others here out and about so doing almost anything new can seem like a challenge. Going to the cinema, dining in a restaurant, catching a bus, train, taxi and hey let's not forget that first shopping trip enfemme. Each one of these adds to our store of confidence and makes us a little bolder.

    Given the limited time I have to spend out and about I do look for new things to do, new challenges. They help me grow and your description of what is such a simple thing on the face of it is surprisingly potentially difficult. "I can deal with this but it does feel a challenge ", is I feel down to the fact that in that situation you're alone, singled out, viewed by many, vulnerable with nowhere to hide. Standing on the kerb alone makes blending in difficult to say the least.

    To answer your question, one thing I did find challenging was once catching a train and it was home commute time. The train was packed, I was lucky to get a seat. That said the aisle was full, those standing had little else to look at other than other travelers so I felt all eyes were on me. In reality I was probably letting my imagination run away a little and I survived unscathed afteral.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  6. #6
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    21,579
    Maybe when my PC does something silly and I have to figure out what it is.
    Some guitar builds can be challenging but its not something I can't figure out.
    Crossdressing or being trans no not really.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
    Expert plumpologist

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    10,626
    Helen,
    I guess it's the not knowing how I'm being seen , would I want to know ? I'm not sure . I know I'm putting my foot in it with some by saying now I know how a GG must feel but I certainly don't have the same feelings in male mode .

    It may appear odd I'm calling this a challenge when I've been to shows and the cinema and I guess it's different when I stood in front of the NHS delegates in a full lecture theatre , in that circumstance they knew I was TG .

    Maybe I should consider myself lucky , no one whistled at me ( God forbid !) and no one shouted , " Hey look at that trannie !" Perhaps I should just look at it as a backhanded way of getting it right . ( No I'm not going to say passing .)
    The real me ,no going back.

  8. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    UK - The Midlands
    Posts
    167
    Hi Teresa Are you implying you are getting eyeballed because you are CD or just generally? If just generally then I guess you at are the same as any GG. I confess when driving I look at women as I drive past, I check them out. Obviously I am looking at the dress, shoes and the outfit, does it look good and would I wear it.

    My challenge, what do I want to get out of dressing now that doing it at home alone is getting boring.

  9. #9
    Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    Orlando, Fl
    Posts
    401
    I say under the circumstances look directly at them and watch them all turn away quickly! Just driving by I'm certain you're ambiguous at best. Just makes them wonder...and who cares really?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Central Coast, CA
    Posts
    1,406
    Teresa,

    I understand the feeling of men looking.

    I have been whistled at as well as yelled at.

    It doesn't bother me, I was with my boyfriend once when it happened, he got really upset.

    My biggest problem right now is my name. It is when I have to use my legal guy name.

    It is why I don't have any store accounts and pay cash.

    When I had to renew my license last year, I was in full makeup. So at least the picture is Jean. I have had to use this in guy mode. No one has even raised an eyebrow.

    I have customer rewards plans at all my favorite stores under Jean using my same last name.

    I went to get new glasses a couple weeks ago. My prescription is still good so I just need to pick out some new frames.

    I walked in I introduced myself as Jean, even thow I knew they have me under my guy name. She asked for my phone number. If she would have addressed me with my guy name I would have walked out.

    She was so nice and understanding. I bought four pairs, one for work and three for the rest of the time. They are all womens.

    Another one of my things is I will not set foot in the mens section of a store. Not even as a short cut, I will walk around even if my friend is ahead or like my roommate (GG ) was looking at men's sweatshirts. She asks how I like one, I still will not set one foot in.

    The only men's clothes I have are company tshirts I wear to work, and they are two sizes to big. So they fit like a blouse.
    Everything else is womans

    Like you, when I first came here and read similar post, I did not understand. Now I do.
    .
    Last edited by Jean 103; 07-26-2019 at 05:46 PM.

  11. #11
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Catskill, NY
    Posts
    1,030
    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Tracci,
    I'm not looking for them but surely you must have moments that challenge you a little ?
    Here's one.

    I had met some friends for a "meet & greet", or munch, about 3 hours from home. I left on Friday night after work, with my bags packed & hooked up with a girlfriend. Saturday came, the event was held, and I stayed over til Sunday Morning.

    Packed all my stuff, and was fully dressed as Jodie for the ride home. Said my goodbyes to all at the breakfast bar, then headed out for home. On the way, I stopped at a donut shoppe for a LARGE coffee for the ride. For 8:00am on a Sunday morning, the place was packed, almost entirely with GG's and their offspring. I stood in queue for 10 minutes, and felt really uncomfortable for some reason. No one said anything, but I just felt 'weird'. I left, found a Gas & Go, got my coffee & Danish, and the clerk (an androgynous young boy/girl) said she loved my outfit and that I looked "awesome" with a full blush on his/her face.

    The 3 hour drive home flashed by as I basked in the warmth of the 'feel good' vibes.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  12. #12
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    20,609
    Teresa, I can verify that I have gotten ZERO eyeballing, comments, chuckles, or ever even noticed when out!
    In drab!

    But then again? I'm a CD. I don't need or wish to go out to Walmart, Dennys, or the mall dressed. Strangely, I go to those places to shop or eat. Not for stress, distractions, or to socialize! I go to T friendly venues, clubs, and bars for that last one. Dressed!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  13. #13
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    7,312
    The challenge is getting my name and gender changed! Need court order! Jumping through red tape hoops! Just checked out what needs to be done! Then after the court order, have to do the changes to everything and get them coordinated! Such as doctors and pharmacy so the prescriptions are in the right name and I can pick them up! Remembering everything! Banks, credit cards, store cards, etc! Will start this madness soon! Wish me luck and say a prayer! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  14. #14
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Almost heaven, but not West Virginia
    Posts
    20,465
    Oh, Teresa, you know me well enough to guess that my challenges come from within. Not so much internal fears of being read or even ridiculed, my challenge has always been about my value as a human being...and whether I’m better served by denial, repression or open expression of my self.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  15. #15
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    s.nj near Berlin
    Posts
    3,053
    I guess my biggest challenge would be how do I get others to feel comfortable around me when out and about. By this I mean when I encounter someone their face tells all, from disgust to confusion. They stumble for/with words, the confusion as what pronoun to use just the overall uneasiness of never being face to face with a man who is presenting as a woman in a natural state and feeling good about it. I just hope that my being out there is educating and dispel the comic relief of a sitcom character, we are real and moving amongst the living. As they say actions are better than words sometimes.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  16. #16
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    10,626
    Maria,
    I would hope that it's because I look like a female but we never know for certain .

    The RW is far from boring if you can take those first steps .

    Jean ,
    Challenges can be inconsistent , even I say to myself sometimes , " I can't believe you did that !" Like my recent trip to meet my art group at the exhibiton and I was introduced to the mayor of my old home town to discuss selling my pictures to the town Civic society . Helen summed up waiting to cross the road by suggesting feeling vulnerable .

    I know it's been discussed before but keeping my name the same apart from substituting a Y for an I has kept all the store cards and other registrations simple , Specsavers deal with my glasses and hearing aids . The guy was very adept at fitting them around my wig , I'd give him 10 out of 10 !

    I must admit the male section in stores is almost barriered off to me , I may take one step without realising it and then find I'm looking at male shirts etc .

    Jodie,
    The first time I donated blood as Teresa was a little like that mainly because I was the only one in the waiting area wearing a skirt and the booking nurse called me by my full male name , it did raise a few eyebrows .

    Lana,
    Moving to my new home after I separated was bad enough trying to sort all those jobs out , so I can understand how much more difficult it will be for you . I could be wrong but I think we do have it easier in the UK , far more departments are on board with the TG situation and most are country wide . The important one for me was full recognition with my GP's surgery , it was great to be told by my GP that her door is always open over my TG needs .

    Kim,
    If I have days like that which believe me I do , I take a long hard look at myself in the mirror in male mode , I know it's not how I want the RW to see me anymore , I know as soon as I start to apply my makeup it will get better and it always does .

    Lisa,
    I don't get looks of disgust and the only time I get looks of confusion is when the person knows me in male mode , it's quite amusing sometimes the things they've said but always in a pleasant way . The classic I had recently was meeting a lady I'd known many years ago , when the penny finally dropped she said , " OH my goodness , what's happened to you ? You look wonderful !" and then she hugged me several times , she'd never hugged me as a man !
    The real me ,no going back.

  17. #17
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    6,936
    Teresa, My challenge is being shy, whether in girl mode or boy mode. I feel your issues about being eyeballed. Last week at my meet up I went to the bar to get a beer and a young man, definitely 30 years my junior asks why I am drinking a particular beer. I stated because is 100F (38C) and its to hot to drink Guinness. I realize that he was just trying to chat me up to hit on me. I just walked back to my group. This guy tried this with every lady who walked up to the bar.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  18. #18
    Member fun4metoo2004's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    DFW Texas
    Posts
    395
    Doing a Pinup Photo Shoot for Charity. Several outfit changes, Professional makeup and hair.

    Shoot scheduled 17 August! So EXCITED!

  19. #19
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    10,626
    Fun4metoo,

    I love doing anything for charity it's so much fun and it's a great idea doing a photoshoot .

    Professional makeovers are great but often not for the RW . I found this from photgraphing weddings for thirty years , many makeup professionals do tend to go a little OTT which is fine for special occasions but not for nipping down to the supermarket . Too much makeup is often more of a giveaway than none at all but obviously it depends how you want to present yourself in public . I personally feel I wear too much still but most don't agree who am I to argue with GGs ?
    The real me ,no going back.

  20. #20
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Southeast WI.
    Posts
    1,235
    Challenge's-- mine is my wife she runs hot and cold but not just except or not it's s lot more the that. Connie lets do to Hamilton in Chicago and the next 4 months it's nothing at all. In years past its like lets go to a movie then we go and she just isn't happy. I feel bad on all fronts A. I put her thru this. B. I get all excited to be crushed in comments or nothing for months. sorry a small rant.

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    10,626
    Connie,
    This stop-go situation is hard to live with . During my gender counselling my wife saw how I was becoming more relaxed and on an outing with the family she took me aside and told me she would accept me dressing more openly around her and the family , the next morning it was back to square one !
    The real me ,no going back.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    770
    I hear that stop-go talk. Wifeling confused the hell out of me buying buying me a number of items middle of last year. Then just after Christmas she started getting short with me about it. To be fair I'd not long joined here and all your stories got me a little carried away but it was also her realising it wasn't a phase. Since then everything's on hold, following her cancer diagnosis but with me respecting that and with continuing to talk there are signs that she's softening her attitude. She even bought me a bra recently!

    So my challenge is figuring out what CDing means to me, while simultaneously not upsetting the love of my life.

    After that it's the challenges of perfecting a presentation I'm happy with and venturing out.

  23. #23
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Area 51
    Posts
    3,968
    For the most part, my personal challenges retain their realm in the other than CD world. The everyday simple life things that people around me seem to over stress or never figure out.
    The CD challenges seem to have just diminished into matter-of-fact-ville. Age and maturity (don't give a s__) has given me a wonderful new perspective of myself and the RW.
    I don't pass but, that's not really the point.

    Just Going Out (short)_Moment p.jpg
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  24. #24
    Member fun4metoo2004's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    DFW Texas
    Posts
    395
    The makeup artist I am using does lots of the Pinup looks for GG. this is kind of a specialty shop in the Dallas Area. Niche market kind of thing. regular hair and makeup services as well.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State