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Thread: Gender Dysphoria

  1. #1
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Gender Dysphoria

    Some of our members claim no (0%) gender dysphoria while others seem filled to the top (100%). Are you all, nothing, or somewhere in the middle?

    Please round your percentage to the nearest tens place. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Member VS Fan's Avatar
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    I’d have to say 0%... I know I’m a man, and while I hate everything about myself (topic for another post I guess or maybe another forum altogether lol) I don’t feel like I was born in the wrong body. I *wish* I were a woman sometimes, but I know I’m not one... and I don’t honestly think I would be happier becoming one now (not unless they can make me shorter, younger and beautiful lol)

  3. #3
    Member jessicabf's Avatar
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    For me it’s society dysphoria. (Not sure that’s a thing) essentially, I know I am a man, and am cool with that. I enjoy many things associated with my maleness. (Glad I don’t deal with some of the female health issues too) My frustration is at society I think. The fact that a man can’t enjoy femininity. Soft things. Being pretty. Allowing my emotions to show though in my expression of myself. So many times I would enjoy wearing a pretty skirt to work, as it would express my state of mind better than pants. Not in a way to “pass” as a woman. But a man who likes creative colors and styles. Wouldn’t mind chatting with female co-workers about a cute out fit I saw.

    If that barrier where gone, I think there would be actually less pressure for those like us to “identify”. Just be you. A genetic male who enjoys the broad range of experiences and expressions of life.
    Jessica BF

  4. #4
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    No. No gender dysphoria here (although a psychiatrist might disagree). I am thoroughly male in body and orientation, but I love dressing as a woman. That part I do not understand at all. I contemplate what it would be like to not have male appendages, but have female ones, instead. But I doubt very much that I'd ever go that surgical direction even if given the opportunity. I like my male self too much. I guess I, too, am a victim of society dysphoria as is Jessica BF above. I just wish I could, when desired, wave a wand and--poof--my voice and skin would be feminine with no beard. At least until midnight.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I am on HRT for 8 months now! I never hated myself as a man! Lana Mae and Harry are becoming one! Next month I will change my name! Then I will head toward the necessary physical changes that will become me! I will be a tall, older, ugly lady, but I will be a lady! My boss has cleared me as long as I change my name on my nursing licence! Since she is fine with it, I do not care about anyone else! Yeah, maybe 100%! LOL Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  6. #6
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    As I grew up, I force trained myself to be male in all things, even though the girl lived in my head and heart. I'd say gender dysphoria is near 100%.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. There are times that I have felt so strongly about transition I didn't know how I could continue in my Male existence while at other times I'm quite happy as a guy. Based solely on that statement I'm clearly not a candidate for transition but I certainly don't fit the binary model.

    What about you Tracy?

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member sarah_hillcrest's Avatar
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    50% But growing.

  9. #9
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I can relate with everything Jessica, Mary, Jenny, and Elizabeth wrote. I have the dilemna, and conflict with my male self and wanting to be a lady for short periods. Males are stifled, and straightjacketed in many ways. I wish there was a pill that made me a lady for a day or two, then back to guy!!

  10. #10
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    50% before I figured out I'm not trans. Maybe a CD or female impersonator?

    Since then? ZERO!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  11. #11
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    Jessica almost nailed it for me.

    I'm a man. I think I'm a man. I'm a man in a man's body. Etc. But at the same time, I like dressing up (in dresses), makeup, lingerie, and so on. I also like to wear women's clothing while doing 'Manly Things" - I had a project to do in my workshop this afternoon and it was jeggings/panties/bra (no top, pretty hot here) ... and taps and dies and drills... Go figure.

    As best I can figure out (putting things _very_ _simplistically_), some GG's have at most a passing interested in femininity (as we use it here), plain cotton undies, etc, etc. Others are very into dresses and makeup and hairstyle and so on. So why do those interests have to be confined to GG's? If a GG can be interested in machine tools and fast cars and not be considered a deviant ... why can't a GM be interested in dresses/etc? That's me ... a GM, who likes a lot (but not all) of "manly things" ... and a few "womanly things" too. So yeah, it's society that is "dysphoric", decreeing that these are for men, those for women with no objective basis for it.

    That all ignores the question of why I want to "look like" a woman. Doesn't that mean, deep down, I want to be one, and therefore am dysphoric/trans/pick-a-term? I will say no, I do not want to be one. But when I dress, I'm looking more for the style/form/beauty/etc rather than the "underlying human". But even when I'm dressed, I don't have a moment's doubt that I'm a man but I'm not a MIAD because I'm attempting to emulate what society has said people who wear dresses and skirts should look like.

    So I guess I'm 0% dysphoric, but about 99.999% feminine-wanna-be (at times). Does that make any sense?

    Fran

  12. #12
    Senior Member 2B Natasha's Avatar
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    Tracy, that is an interesting question that is not easy to answer.

    Do I have issues with my male self and body? Not at all. I've had a rip roaring good time in it. It has served me really well. I have beat on it, broken it, crashed it, wiped pieces off, had them sewn back on, generally abused it. Still. It just keeps ticking with no issues. My knees are good on no medication for anything still ( i think the next visit to the doctor will change that ).

    Does that mean I want to keep it then? Nope. I think about changing it almost everyday. I dream, or day dream about rearranging the plumbing to fit what's in my head almost everyday. I've gone so far as to tell my wife that I will not die with a p&@#s. told her the car on our way to the theatre one night.

    So where do I fit on the scale of 0 to 100. Probably a hundred and zero %

    Does it help to answer your question? Doubt it but it's the best I can do with honesty.

    Cheers
    Natasha
    You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same

  13. #13
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    Jessica and several others pretty well defined it for me, too.

    I'm a man. Always have been and always will be. But I also love being and dressing feminine at times. I believe that any dysphoria I experience comes from society's pressure on how I should dress and behave, not from any internal conflicts in my mind.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Marcia Blue's Avatar
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    I have to have some gender dysphoria. I love my duality. That being said, there are times I have to dress. I would say maybe 30%. I do hate my male body but would love to have real female breasts maybe more.
    Marcia (LOVES) Blue

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  16. #16
    Super Moderator GretchenJ's Avatar
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    For me , it averages around 20%, going at times at 0 and as high over periods of time (say over a week) at 70%.

  17. #17
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    0%, don't want or need anything removed.
    My work mate is 100% - tried killing herself, tried drugs, never touches downstairs, will have trouble in the future with jobs etc - not a fun life.

    Maybe we should specify percentages? -
    50% is wanting real breasts,
    65% is wanting to cut off the old fella,
    80% the full operation,
    90% includes all the above and months of FRS ???
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  18. #18
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    It drifts between 40 and 60%.

    Some days I'm OK with being GM - but still a good sized part of me would prefer not to be.
    Other days, I ache to be what I wasn't born to be - but not to the point of "change or die."

    Add a wonderful, but barely tolerant SO to the mix, and life get interesting!

  19. #19
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Great question Tracy. Back in 2012 and 2013 when I came out I was dysphoric almost constantly. But once I found that a gender identity merge reduced the dysphoria I became less and less dysphoric and just accepting who I was - only took 59 years to discover that. Only a moment in geological time.

    Now I experience a very mild dysphoria maybe 10% of the time and otherwise none at all. I don't associate my gender with my sex; keep them separate as much as possible. Works for me. Today I start treatment for low grade prostate cancer. My testosterone will be completely blocked by Elegard and that will last for 6 months. It will be fascinating to see how the removal of that from my body will affect my identity. Will dysphoria grow as the hormonal support for masculinity vanishes or will it disappear completely as the feminization of my body and mind kicks in? They tell me I have a 90% to 96% chance of a complete cure which is fine by me. But the bumpy road getting there will be interesting. I will be keeping a detailed journal of both physical and psychological effects of the treatment. It is a grand experiment but too bad I have to be the guinea pig. I will let you all know what happens as it progresses. Ought to be interesting. I have found nothing in the literature about what happens psychologically to a male who is mildly TG during prostate cancer treatment where androgen blockers are used. Effects on cisgender males are documented, but apparently not an a TG male.

  20. #20
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Well, I fall into the CD/female impersonator category. It might just be a wonderful escape into role playing.
    Buuuuut! According to Rachelakld, I'm 50% because I truly would like to have wonderful natural breasts to keep hidden most of the time.
    But then, that's probably more of a fetish thing.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  21. #21
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    I look at gender as a continuum. At times I do feel mostly male; but the feminine characteristics and mannerisms are always there. I would say 60% to the feminine side; sometimes less, sometimes more.

  22. #22
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    Tracy,
    As it's an evolving process for me it's hard to put a figure on it . In my new home town I live full time so I achieve a balance , at the moment I'm committed to some family acitivities so I'm having to go back and forth , I do find it hard and my dysphoria just goes through the roof .

    I don't hate my male body to the point I need surgery but my preference is to appear totally female all the time , I just feel comfortable and natural and importantly accepted as that in the RW .

  23. #23
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    For me it boils down to which definition.

    1) "Gender dysphoria (GD) is the distress a person feels due to their birth-assigned sex and gender not matching their gender identity. People who experience gender dysphoria are typically transgender."
    2) "Gender dysphoria involves a conflict between a person's physical gender and the gender with which he or she identifies."

    For (1), yes there is distress, mostly involving my wife and kids, and sometimes going out to new places. So maybe 33%. For (2), it would be zero since I have no problem that I have a man's body with a feminine leaning non-binary gender identity. A year and a half ago it was probably 25% as I was just on the cusp of figuring out my gender identity.

  24. #24
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    Have to agree with how Jessica (and others) put it. I will add that, I like women. And that includes now and then trying to look like them, feel like them, be like them. Sherrii

  25. #25
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachelakld View Post
    Maybe we should specify percentages? -
    50% is wanting real breasts,
    65% is wanting to cut off the old fella,
    80% the full operation,
    90% includes all the above and months of FRS ???
    If a number must be assigned then I'm definitely nearing 60% with a 65% leaning...
    There are days when it's much higher but rarely anytime when it's below 50%.
    I suppose it's gotten higher now that I've retired and no longer have all the restrictions on me that were there before. I spend so much more time as a woman that it just keeps getting more and more natural.
    Growing my hair out now and in process to remove all body hair permanently.
    One day at a time ...
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

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