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Thread: Gender Dysphoria

  1. #26
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    I jump on Jessica’s bandwagon. Even though I’m one of the fortunate ones with a beautiful, supportive wife, it’s our negative, nosy community that frustrates me. I can dress all I want at home, but sometimes the urge to go out is intense. I’ve gone out, but with much trepidation of getting caught and the social and economic consequences that would follow. I’ve been at social gatherings where I wanted so badly to join in on some female conversations. Being a male, I’ll never know many of the female issues, but when it comes to fashion, makeup, etc. I would enjoy chatting. Recently, i saw one of our friends wife wearing a pair of heels, exactly like mine. I would’ve loved to chat with her about how comfortable they were, and how much I enjoy wearing hose, etc. Oh well...

  2. #27
    Member Felicia M's Avatar
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    Absolutely love Jessica's term 'society dysphoria'. We need to coin that and send it out into the world.

    We are so far from a world of outside acceptance but it is slowly changing. I would imagine for most the removal of that barrier would be a massive weight lifted.
    I no longer try to think in binary terms and just try and see the spectrum but I catch myself every once in awhile wanting to be more one than the other. It's a difficult balance
    and it changes daily.....
    I have been circling for a thousand years,
    and I still don?t know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
    or a great song.

    Rainer Maria Rilke I live My Life in Growing Orbits

  3. #28
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    Interesting question for a cross dressing man. Gender identity does not match gender biology. I am way past trying to analyze why I do what I do. It seems I no longer think in male and female. I've lived my life as a male very comfortably. There have been little bumps along the way. When I feel the need to be en femme or emulate a woman it has been escape maleness, not to gravitate toward femaleness. Is there another alternative. Stress relief. I feel very comfortable as my male self. I feel very comfortable with myself emulating a woman. The problems that arise are generated by society which seems to be not on board with cross dressers or suffers of gender dysphoria.

    Zero percent

  4. #29
    Junior Member StephanieIndy's Avatar
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    Its interesting to read so many with low percentages, I always assumed that most CD had a level of Transgender feeling about themselves.

    I myself probably put myself at about 90%. I know inside I am a woman. I have plans for FFS and BA within the next 12-18 months. I cancelled an appointment for HRT in the last few weeks, but expect to be on HRT by the end of the year at the latest. GCS is a huge and scary step that I want to take, but realistically have not looked into planning it too much yet.

  5. #30
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    Stephanie, I also find it interesting. But if you asked me ten years ago, I would have replied "I am a CD not TG" and the truth is that I would've been lying to myself as much as I was lying to you.

  6. #31
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    Gender dysphoria? I have to confess an uncomfortable "yes". I believe gender dysphoria still occupies about 25% but as a child it was closer to 90%.

    As a very young child I would hear my mother talk about our births. When my older brother was born she was hoping for a boy. I was her second pregnancy and she prayed and prayed to make it female. When I was born she was very disappointed. But when I was only six months old she found herself pregnant a third time. She was almost afraid to pray for a girl. However the third time was the charm. When my sister was born it was the happiest day of my mother's life. My sister grew up as my mother's pampered little princess. I grew up thinking that if I was a girl my mother would love me more.

    As a young boy I believed all boys would have preferred to be girls. When I was three years old I would raid my mom's closet and tell my mom that I was playing "mommy". I thought that wanting to be a girl was normal, and I also thought that all parents preferred daughters because they were nicer, smarter, prettier, and never caused any trouble. Girls got all the attention, all the shiny items to make them pretty, and they were praised simply for their appearances. Of course I had gender dysphoria as a child.

    I did identify as a boy, but I saw being a boy as a handicap in life. It wasn't until I was in puberty that I began to believe that their may be some advantages to being a boy. Gender therapists say that 75% of the young boys with gender dysphoria grow out of it by the time they reach adulthood. I believe I am one of those. I will also add that overcoming my gender dysphoria wasn't easy, and I'm still working on it. I still find more things to be admired from females than males. I don't believe I will ever transition. I want to be a loving husband, and a great father to my children. I see them as more important in life than my crossdressing, but crossdressing is a part of my life.

  7. #32
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Asew View Post
    For me it boils down to which definition.

    1) "Gender dysphoria (GD) is the distress a person feels due to their birth-assigned sex and gender not matching their gender identity. People who experience gender dysphoria are typically transgender."
    2) "Gender dysphoria involves a conflict between a person's physical gender and the gender with which he or she identifies."

    For (1), yes there is distress, mostly involving my wife and kids, and sometimes going out to new places. So maybe 33%. For (2), it would be zero since I have no problem that I have a man's body with a feminine leaning non-binary gender identity. A year and a half ago it was probably 25% as I was just on the cusp of figuring out my gender identity.
    Since you cited the American Psychiatric Association's definition (number 2 above), let us also consider the following, also from that source...

    "Gender dysphoria is not the same as gender nonconformity, which refers to behaviors not matching the gender norms or stereotypes of the gender assigned at birth. Examples of gender nonconformity (also referred to as gender expansiveness or gender creativity) include girls behaving and dressing in ways more socially expected of boys or occasional cross-dressing in adult men."

    They go on to list several findings, at least two of which must be present for at least six months in order to make the diagnosis of "gender dysphoria":

    "In adolescents and adults gender dysphoria diagnosis involves a difference between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, and significant distress or problems functioning. It lasts at least six months and is shown by at least two of the following:

    • A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
    • A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
    • A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender
    • A strong desire to be of the other gender
    • A strong desire to be treated as the other gender
    • A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender"



    By that definition, most of what is being discussed in this thread is not gender dysphoria.
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

    https://groups.io/g/gno-houston

  8. #33
    BEING YOUnique is AWESOME Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    0 percent here

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    I'm entirely with Jessicabf here. Oh sure I've wondered what it'd be like to be a women etc. That's natural.
    But I'm fine with being a man who unlike others is willing to indulge his emotions and sensuality. Two things that are trampled out of us males from birth. It's a huge contributor to why us men kill ourselves 3 times as often as women. Think of CDing as a preventative health measure.

    So that's a 0 out of 10 for me.

  10. #35
    Senior Member JaytoJillian's Avatar
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    Getting some nice changes through HRT, but still flying under the radar as a boy. If I could figure out how to go all of the way and retain my so-called male privilege in the work place, I would do so in a heartbeat. 50/50 is my forced reality, but 100 percent is where I want to be
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  11. #36
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Confucius,
    You raise one ot two interesting points .
    The first is not knowing if other boys had the same feelings , especially as it was more sexual then . How many were slipping on their sister's or mother's clothing items , how normal or abnormal was it ? I wonder if we do totally grow out of it or it lays dormant ? What is the trigger later in life , it certainly explains late onset Cders .

    Aunt Kelly ,
    Thanks for the dysphoria definitions, I may not tick all the boxes but it's not important , the acceptance that I have dysphoria has made it far easier , I know what I'm dealing with and how to find a balance .

    I'm not sure if I totally agree with your last line , sometimes people don't realise or choose to ignore what drives them , living with a gut feeling most of my life I wanted to know , I had to have answers to deal with it .
    The real me ,no going back.

  12. #37
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    0% here. It's just clothing and I am me, not matter what I am wearing.

  13. #38
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Theresa,
    Again, one needn't check all those boxes, but in order to have a diagnosis of gender dysphoria, one must suffer from at least two for six months or more. That's an easy thing to grasp, so why do so many here insist that they suffer from GD when they don't meet those straightforward criteria?

  14. #39
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    There was a time when I thought some level of gender dysphoria would a convenient explanation for my desire to dress. Upon study and reflection I would now say that I'm very low and maybe even 0% dysphoric. I'm generally happy with my male self and even when fully dressed I consider myself male. A gender nonconformist? Certainly. But without dysphoria.
    Last edited by Taylor186; 09-10-2019 at 09:14 AM.

  15. #40
    Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I check off 2 possibly 3 of Aunt Kelly's boxes. I don't seem to have the body dysmorphia/dysphoria that my transitioning sisters have, so I won't be pursuing any of those changes. But I do feel the need for the role, or expression, of the "opposite" gender, and in fact live as much of it as I can in my daily life. I love the clothes, but I'm not just a cd.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  16. #41
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Thanks Kelly for those clear definitions. My gender dysphoria includes these three items and were strong enough to create the need to transition. These feelings and needs were almost 100% of the time.:

    - A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender
    - A strong desire to be of the other gender
    - A strong desire to be treated as the other gender

  17. #42
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Aunt Kelly,
    In my case more like sixty years on at least three of them .

    Without therapy or counselling anyone can self-diagnose but without a professional assessment it may not carry much credence . Initially labels didn't come easy to me, with counselling they can come thick and fast but they are only labels for their guidance and our help in accepting ourselves .
    The real me ,no going back.

  18. #43
    California Dreamin Michaelasfun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jessicabf View Post
    For me it’s society dysphoria.
    Me too. With about 30% chance of GD.
    Michaela


    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush

  19. #44
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracy Irving View Post
    Please round your percentage to the nearest tens place. Thanks.
    The problem with that, is that it varies. Some days it's even non existent in my consciousness, on others it may be severe and all I can think about; and it will vary during that day as well.

    So let's go for the middle of the road. 50%. How does that help?
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  20. #45
    Member Lucy23's Avatar
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    Well according to those bulletpoints I don't have gender dysphoria. Although I sometimes wish I had breasts. Funny thing is I like wearing bras, but don't use forms.

    Anyway, Jessicabf nailed it for me too, almost too well. I wish I could openly express myself without anyone thinking I'm some kind of psycho. As if wearing a skirt and flats would end the world.

  21. #46
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    I would say that I have had various degrees of GD at different stages of my life. At times I was way too busy being a father, husband and provider to even pause and think of my gender issues. But recently the urge has lasted for years. I feel strongly drawn to being female including fantasizing about altering my male parts by either SRS or via mutilation both accidental or intentional. I fantasized about being a women and being with men. I often desire to be female and there have been times that I have completely lost it and cried myself to sleep wishing that there was a way to change the reality who I am. I have always not liked who I see in the mirror. At this point in my life I have accepted that there will never be a transition for me. I love someone else more than I love myself and I could not break my promise to her. I have come out to my wife as a crossdresser and she accepts me as that. I love our relationship and that she supports me in my dressing. The CDing will have to be enough.. I would say that my GD ranges from 50% (moderate) to 80+% (raging) But I will make my stand here. I may seek a therapist to help me...??

  22. #47
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    I think my GD is at or near 0% I jusy feel like dressing as a girl all I possibly can.
    Angie

  23. #48
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I'm just a transvestite with a slight case of AGP. Does that sound like GD? I don't really know.

    I had a lot of mixed scripts growing up between parents, siblings, friends etc. Wanted to be female when I was a teen but didn't really feel trapped in the wrong body. My thoughts about it are ever changing so it's best not to think about it!
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  24. #49
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ressie View Post
    I'm just a transvestite with a slight case of AGP. Does that sound like GD? I don't really know.

    I had a lot of mixed scripts growing up between parents, siblings, friends etc. Wanted to be female when I was a teen but didn't really feel trapped in the wrong body. My thoughts about it are ever changing so it's best not to think about it!
    Looks like AGP to me. Not feeling like being in the wrong body, still intrigued about being a female, not really sure what is going on. You like and respect females SO much you wanna be one----and then in periods of lucidity---"Or do I?"

  25. #50
    Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    0% - I love the clothes from the women's department and love looking down and seeing my toenails painted, but I dress as a man in women's clothes and not as a woman.
    "To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us." - Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

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