Have not dressed in so long. I spend hours looking through things online wishing I could dress and I have no light in sight of when I can dress again and it’s definitely affecting my mood. Ugh!!!
Have not dressed in so long. I spend hours looking through things online wishing I could dress and I have no light in sight of when I can dress again and it’s definitely affecting my mood. Ugh!!!
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I can’t give you the clinical answer but in general when you are deprived of something you enjoy, it’s not uncommon to experience sadness. I don’t know that “affecting your mood” reaches all the way to depression, but if you do experience actual symptoms of depression, please see a mental health professional.
Ok maybe depression is a little extreme lol but I’m definitely grumpy and a bit of a bitch.
I wouldn't call it depression but I am a much happier, calmer person when I do dress.
Maybe try under dressing if you can. Start off with Panties, maybe add Hose or/and a Bra.
At least you will be partly dressed. I wear Female Jeans all the time, no one ever said
anything about them, they look like men's wear, but are for women.
Rader
Not cross dressing won’t make you depressed, but how one thinks about not cross dressing may push a person with depressive tendencies into a depressed state.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Maybe looking online for hours wishing you could dress is causing the depression? If dressing is part of an addiction like it is for me - you might feel anxiety which goes with depression.
But it's thoughts about it that is causing these feelings IMO. If you were forced to think of something else for those few hours (for some reason) your mind wouldn't be on whether or not you could dress.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
I can attest that it has caused me a lot of depression. At the beginning of my marriage my wife was very accepting. I told her before the wedding. About 10 years into the marriage we were on vacation and walking down a street in London when she informed me she no longer wanted to discuss the subject. I have no idea where this comment came from. I thought we had reached a happy arrangement. There was no discussion leading up to this statement. This was 15 years ago and I don’t see it ever changing.
I have all of my feminine clothes where they are easily accessible. One half of my closet has my dresses, blouses, and slacks. The other half is suits, slacks, and shirts. My slips bras, and panties are in two of the draws on my side of the bathroom next to the draws with my boxers, socks, and tee shirts. Nothing is hidden. It’s like living with an elephant in the house but never mentioning it.
This is a very depressing. I feel it is also causing me some health problems.
I am looking into counseling. I feel sure she will not participate in this.
I usually dress when she is out for the day shopping or traveling with her daughter or sister. I look forward to her leaving for any length of time. I don’t think this is much of a life. I know this situation has to cause pain in our marriage, but I do not see us ever divorcing. We chose each other to be partners for life. We both took seriously what we vowed, “for better or for worse”.
i can only dress 3 or 4 times a year but the urge to dress consumes me, it has driven me to nervous breakdowns and thoughts of suicide
I guess if you let it get to you it could but that depends on how strong a person you are.
No matter how bad things got in my life I never got depressed over it because it could have been a lot worse.
If its just dressing get over it and maybe underdress to fill the need until you can dress.
Not being able to dress will affect each of us differently of course. Just try to keep your spirits UP - and don't be afraid to ask for professional help if needed.
As for NON-professional help - you can always talk to us. We love you and want you to be Happy!
Again, I have to emphasize that its how one chooses to think that can aggravate depressive tendencies. As someone who has been treated for very severe clinical depression I can attest to the power of negative thinking...in the many forms it can take. If one feels that limited opportunity to dress is a matter of denial or repression, or something imposed upon you, rather than a choice, then one can push their thoughts into depression. If I could find the article, dealing with mistaken beliefs, those than help create and push a depressive mind set , I would. But the essence is that we choose how we react to circumstances. That choice can be constructive or destructive. Often our choices are habitual and automatic, but as often, these habitual and automatic choices are totally wrong and self destructive.
In other words, don’t blame the clothes you’re wearing. Look at your thought processes and ask yourself if your thoughts are what are causing your problems. Again, I speak from considerable experience. I now how easy it is to succumb to the temptation to feel the victim of circumstance. But, in the final analysis, you and I have the choice to decide how we will feel, how we will respond, and how we will conduct our lives.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Not sure what clinical terms to use but anxiety or depression can arise from the frustration of not being able to dress. I only dress when I can go the whole way and go out. This takes time and I need at least half a day at a time. Whole days are even better. I sometimes think I don’t get full value from the huge wardrobe and all the accessories I have accumulated over the years. A couple of times a month doesn’t seem enough but when I do it I feel great and realise how lucky I am to have come so far and to be able to blend in mainstream society. I would feel very anxious if I had to go a long time without dressing.
Maybe I'm dressing TOO MUCH!?
The last few times I've felt very stressed when I started dressing.
But, felt ok again after I finished dressing up!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Some really good responses. Kim's thoughts on it are very close to what the medical and therapeutic community finds is the case. In fact, when the DSM5 was being written there was suggestion that Gender Identity Disorder be replaced by Gender Expression Deprivation Disorder, but Gender Dysphoria won out. The discomfort from not being able to express yourself through dressing, or any other means, creates a stress in the brain that is difficult to reconcile. That creates a flood of chemicals that are associated with creating depression. So, the real task is being able to turn off or limit the impact of those chemicals. I have found that when I get into that jam even little things included in my expression help a lot. So, underdressing may help or, in my case, wearing women's T-shirts in solid women's colors (bright and cheery) helps a lot and the style is basically the same as a men's T-shirt. So nobody frets about it and I am viewed as being consistent with expectations even though I am anything but consistent. If you are feeling depressed then you need to try different things that can remove or reduce the feeling otherwise it will become a pattern and that is when you get in trouble. Try some experimentation with mild expression and try to attach that mild expression with your needs. It may help.
I know how you feel.
It's been about two months now. So hard to find time to dress.
My wife says if I continue to dress it will break us up.
When she's gets in a bad mood she looks for evidence.
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
Shellybme,
It can seriously affect your mental health depending how bad your dysphoria is , suppressing such a strong driving force if some people can lead to a drastic outcome .
To some it maybe the odd occasion to satisfy a need to others it can be mental cruelty , just because others do not approve doesn't solve your need , at some point you have to come to terms with it and accept it's part pf you .
I don't get depressed when I can't dress. However, I do feel a profound happiness when I do dress.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
Hi
One form of depression is physiological - your brain makes too much, or not enough, of the right chemical. I doubt that not-dressing can cause this condition - on the other hand, I could see that the stress/etc of not dressing can “activate” the condition.
Another form is situational ... something in life makes you sad/unhappy/etc - all the symptoms of physiological depression. I expect that not-dressing can certainly bring this on. I think that being “grumpy” is a form of this.
I am very limited in when I can dress. As others have pointed out, two things that help me are this forum (I’m dressing vicariously through you all ... thanks girls), and wearing women’s jeans.
Fran
Shelby are you actually trans or just a CDer or hobby dresser?
If its just a hobby or fun thing that you do then maybe under dress or wear a piece of womens clothing.
If you are trans or having GID thats a totally different thing and maybe a therapist can help.
Depends where you are at on the offten overused gender dysphoria scale. If you are cross gender and your mind needs a female body then for sure, not dressing, or not being able to present as who you are, is going to get you down a whole lot more, than it you simply dress because it makes you feel good and creates an opportunity to be a bit different, take a few risks and generally just poke the boring stuff in the eye once in a while.
I don't dress as often but yes it does consume my mind so I underdress atleast once a week to fill the need.
It's like a "FIX" I need ever so often keeps me going for about 3 weeks or so---then I need another. I average one good session a month. However the rains have kept people in my house for the last 3 months, and I haven't been able to dress lately. But today and the next few days I will be alone and Marina will finally come out to play again. Already I have finished polishing my nails. and I have a new Lipstick to try out "Always Red" by Sephora. I heard it is the standard of the Rockettes, they buy it by the boxes. And the shade is famous for going with nearly all skin tones.
I do not get depressed when I can't dress, Just "antsy". I can deal with it, if need be, but it sure feels GOOD to get my FIX when the time comes.
I've always asked the question "Why does one choose to wear women's clothing?" I always preface it with the proviso "Not how it makes you feel, but, the true "why?" When I was still working there was some degree of job related stress. It was not working with clients. It was dealing with bosses who had to deal with work production. There was also the normal stress of family life. There was issues of PTSD related to military service in Nam. Throw all that crap into a pot and stir. I have many friends in a PTSD support group who self medicated with booze and drugs. They choose to escape in an injurious manner. I choose to seek relief in becoming someone else; Stephanie. I suppose I could have indulged myself in one of my hobbies more than I did, but, there was no internal transformation building military plastic models or working on a stamp collection.
When the kids were young my wife was a "stay at home mom." There was no chance to bring Stephanie out. My wife thought the kids needed to attend Sunday school. So, she was able to get a job as a nursery attendant at a church of her denomination. That was great it afforded me about 2 1/2 hours a Sunday to slip into my small collection of lingerie. It had a calming effect. However, it was still akin to catching what I call is "grabbing some crumbs of time." Short burst of activity. It wasn't until the kids were in school from 9 to 3 and my wife had a part time job somewhere that I could take off a therapy day for more time. As the kids got older there was more time available. When my wife finally had a part time job working full days I had seven hours of Stephanie time.
I definitely felt the difference when summer rolled around and the kids were off and my wife was off. Ugh! There was no Stephanie time for ten weeks. There was no time for "stress Relief Stephanie" to appear. I would "climb the walls" because my "drug of choice" could not be used.
I would not call it depression. Yes, grumpy may be a good term. There was definitely negativity involved with trying to suppress the need. I can image for those ladies here whose wives constantly berate them for cross dressing, life must be days of torment. Yes, I can see a person getting totally depressed. If it goes that far I would recommend some sort of therapy.