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Thread: Can lack of dressing cause depression?

  1. #26
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    Clairemarie Seems like we have a similar situation My wife was quite accepting and encouraging years ago at the beginning of our relationship. We would go to functions and a support group together but now 40 yrs later not at all. She finds it disgusting. I do have a storage place and do manage girl time but it is definitely DADT. It can be a bit frustrating and I am going to go to a counselor this week. I won't say depression but frustration certainly
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  2. #27
    YOULOVEMYTOES Palaina Nocturnus's Avatar
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    Hello,

    I'm reading all of this great advice, and I have to say, this forum is an amazing place to be a part of!

    I've been thru a divorce where she encouraged me to dress then would condemn me for it. She was extremely abusive in all 4 ways. As a result I went thru rehab, Christian single and couples counseling, therapists and psychologists. I'm not an expert on this subject, just giving my 2 cents...

    If your level of depression makes you suicidal or starts to interfere with basic everyday tasks such as eating, sleeping, unable to move, etc then get professional help immediately. Different things work for different people.

    Currently I'm unable to dress up because I moved into my family's home with my 2 year old son while I file for disability. I've found that keeping my legs and face shaved, wearing women's jeans shorts and shirts, and keeping my nails cute has helped to alleviate the tension and sadness I'm feeling.

    My 2 year olds mom (I also have a 20 year old that is straight and knows about me dressing) doesn't want me dressing up in front of our son or her 11 year old daughter. I've had to compromise and be as androgynous as possible to keep me somewhat happy. Also, in the very least, I only wear womens underwear now and I have a collection of camisoles for daily wear.

    I agree with the advice given, it's all about you controlling your reactions and emotions while doing whatever it takes that is healthy to keep your mind from obsessing.

    Good luck luv!!!!!!

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member
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    I doesn't make me depressed but it can make me a bit crankier.
    Sara

  4. #29
    Member shellybme's Avatar
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    Thank you all for the great advice and responses. I might have been a bit over board saying it was depression. That is serious and no one should make light of it. I was just in a really bad mood. As suggested my dysphoria might be more than I thought it was. I do try to underdress as much as I can but it’s not what I want looking back at me. I am putting things in perspective and maybe some day soon Shelly can come out again.

  5. #30
    Junior Member Nicole Bernard's Avatar
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    I can say that I've been dealing with depression for the last seven years. I do see a pattern that after I have a dressing session I do feel more "down" when I have to go back to guy mode. I wouldn't go as far to say I'm depressed after though.

  6. #31
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    For myself I say...YES! Emphatically. I've just come through a 12 year long purge. I was getting suicidal. My dressing is definitely not where I need it to be yet, but even the tiny concession I got from my wife has eased things for me considerably.

  7. #32
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Please don't get me wrong. This is not for all, ok?
    I read several comments here that are kind the same and I would call it gender dysphoria.
    My opinion is just based in my own experience trough years where this anguish, depression, sadness, etc, would take differe t ways but slowly I crescendo. It took me to do crazy things. To dress wasn't enough. It had to be out, go to places dressed, Interact with others cds, women, men etc. I could stop for years, being more sport active, more sexual active, so purge several times, but it never really stopped.
    What was my solution? Face my primary lem, because it was a problem.

    Someone said, If it doesn't let you be able to work. It wasn't my peo lem, I could work, and more, without dressing but my personality had treats that I didn't know were just the reaction of a conflict in my gender.
    I won't say that hormones is the solution but it means a radical desicion that showed me a path and the freedom.
    Things weren't easy after but so many pro lems I had were resolved ed pretty soon and had the ability, ear mind and peace of it to act different, with patience because now it wasn't about dressing.
    I'm now almost years and a half in HRT, living full time as a woman with the same wife of 40 years and my 3 kids and wife supporting me. I never imagined that would be possible but I'm a different person because I killed the manning me.
    So.don't take my words as the onlky way, but I'd seen in many here the same life I lived for so many years.
    They are trans people but don't know or do t want to know, is not convenient, is too cocomplicated, too hard, is impossible, for me it was.
    GENDER DYSPHORIA.
    HRT 042018; Full time 032019
    Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
    Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
    Breast augmentation surgery 012022
    GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION

  8. #33
    Senior Member Read only Allison Chaynes's Avatar
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    I don't think in and of itself that it does, but there are related factors mentioned here that certainly can help drive it. When I was seeing a therapist, the periods where I could dress more seemed less stressful, which was something SHE pointed out to me. Granted, I have bigger concerns than crossdressing, like heart problems, job loss and blackballing by a former boss, kids with severe behavioral problems we cannot seem to figure out... but CDing, even if it's just a little, helps me deal.
    Life is too short to be boring.

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member WandaRae2009's Avatar
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    I am not sure that I would call it depression, but I find it really hard to stay focused. I keep thinking about my next opportunity to dress. What dress I will wear, jewelry, wig, makeup style. Everything by what I should be focused on.

  10. #35
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    I hesitate to characterise things clinicical, since I'm no clinician. But I've had my share of mental health issues so I'll say this. I would imagine not dressing could indeed lead to depression but that would more likely be characterised as gender dysphoria.

    However, it's clear, Shelly, that you're not talking clinically, specifically. More just having a vent and looking for others who know what you mean. I get it. Many, if not most, here do.

    Let me put it another way. Elsewhere I've written of how CDing potentially saved my life. I was diagnosed with ridiculously high blood pressure but was still drinking like the proverbial. Then, 8 months after my diagnosis. I quit. Overnight. Why? How? Well, a few days before was when I adopted the name Abigail. And it's my contention that the self-acceptance that signalled assuaged whatever had caused me to drink so deleteriously.

    I'm currently on hiatus from dressing due to my wife battling cancer, but of course I think about it, and it does get me down to not be able to dress right now. But I temper that with small, femme touches.

    There are many triggers to crises in my mental health but through even small acts my gender-nonconformity isn't one of them.

    Here's hoping Shelly and Abbie (and all the other ladies who are currently trapped) get their days in the sun soon.

  11. #36
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I don’t know if not dressing depresses me, but it definitely changes my personality. It’s sort of like having a mild headache that never goes away. At first, I can ignore it and just function normally. But after a couple of days I get grumpy and irritable. After about a week this gets so bad that I end up not liking myself very much. It’s such a relief when I can get back to my normal feminine self.

  12. #37
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Shelly,
    not getting what we desire can make us feel very unhappy and stressed.
    luv J

  13. #38
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    I'm definitely happier and feel relief when I can dress, unfortunately I can't dress up much since I don't live alone. I also do the same thing, I spend hours online at work via my phone looking and wishing I could dress and putting things in my cart but never actually purchasing them. So dressing is a stress reliever for me.

  14. #39
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    I do get grumpy-ish....There is definitely a natural high for me dressing....
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  15. #40
    Member Janice An's Avatar
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    Don't know about depression but I sure know when its pass due !!

  16. #41
    3dxchat User JuliaGirl's Avatar
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    I find myself, after 26 years of a great marriage, and dressing for nearly 45 years, feeling definitely frustrated and a bit more cranky that my fears of my SO mocking or rejecting my needs are too much for me to think about to "have the talk" (deeply closeted), yet at the same time I'm finding as I get older I want to dress more frequently to express the female side of me.

    I've been the most honest soul all my life and here I am at that crossroad. I'm also more open about my dressing in places like this (yay!) and some social platforms I frequent, even finally snapping pics of myself (yay!) to try to be more bold with who I am.

    Hmmmm. Not sure what the right answer is (= even more internal stress).

    Closeted for 45 years, so please take any advice I might offer with a massive dose of reality.
    Julia xo

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