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Thread: I'm coming out!

  1. #1
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    I'm coming out!

    Well, this is a post that probably belongs on the "Transsexual" board, but it relates to a previous post in this board.
    Here's the last post I made on here: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...705&highlight=
    ... which was 3 months ago, and 1 month after *that*, May 8, I came out to myself as transgender!! I can't believe how fast everything has gone, now that I think about it. Pre-coming out to myself seems like a distant memory, including that post.

    Anyways, here's the juicy details on why I know for sure now, as compared to that last post in which I was just beginning to seriously think about it.
    I can't stand masculine parts of body now. Body hair, flat breasts, strong jawline and generally not-soft & round face, lack of hips and butt distribution of fat, deeper than average for females voice. The very thing I said I was *so sure* I was comfortable with, my genitals, are gradually becoming more annoying (and dysphoric) as I try desperately to pass - without the horrid "bulge".

    I love the idea of going out with my girlfriends and just being accepted as a girl. No questions asked, not a slight sign of masculinity. I also know that I am lesbian now because of coming out. It took me a while (eh, it was only about 2 months after coming out to myself) to get used to that term! I have since joined better/more convenient support groups for me online: Discord servers for trans people (but mostly trans girls are there) and lesbians [The Valley and Actuallesbians, respectively]

    The coming outs to family were spread out over a month, in June and July, and all but my dad have been supportive and proud of me. Dad's a bit worried that it's only an "obsession with being trans", since I have OCD. He's across the country now, so I can't even explain to him face to face that OCD doesn't work like that, my compulsions are just thinking in sentences of, and doing things in, multiples of four & repeating a "mistake" to my mind until I get it right.

    I live in the US and going to Boise State University, which as most college campuses are, is very LGBTQ friendly. I already found a group of girls to hang out with after the main part of orientation in the evening; I never felt happier in a social situation as I did sitting with four of these girls in a dorm room at 11:00 at night. 💖💖

    I already have high hopes that I'll be pretty after being on HRT for a while, which I plan to start on my birthday, Sept 9! I have a vivid, beautiful dream of one day marrying my wife in a brilliant white gown. I also got a trans girl roommate after my mom promptly demanded I get switched out of the all-male, communal showers dorm room. I think I might cry the first time I find truly close, female friends and go shopping together (or anything girly really), as I had no luck with friends as a boy: well, that's soon gonna change as I will surely be the charming (and still introverted, but maybe less socially anxious) girl of the party, who effortlessly attracts both female and male attention and companionship!

    I love you all and thank you for your advice, as I did see a GREAT gender therapist, ironically after I already figured out I was a girl. :P
    Peace and happy dressing! I'll see you in the women's room

    Lindsay

  2. #2
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I'm curious. How did u suddenly figure out, "--u were a girl"? U sounded so certain u liked switching back and forth and looking androgenous" in April?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing - I hope your college adventure with HRT is a good start to the rest of your life

  4. #4
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    “I already have high hopes that I’ll be pretty” is what concerns me. HRT is not a shortcut to pretty, so temper your expectations.
    Last edited by Micki_Finn; 08-10-2019 at 09:57 AM.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Lindsay, I hate to put a damper on all of this enthusiasm, but like Micki said HRT is not a ticket to pretty! I have been on HRT for 8 going on 9 months and there has been no redistribution of fat! Nope, no hips not on the face nowhere! I do have decreased body hair growth but that does not include the face or legs! Small "A" cup breasts! My Endo stated that some changes could take up to 5 years to be noticed and may not occur at all! Each person is different of course but there are no guarantees! OK, so now that we got that out of the way! Best wishes on your journey! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  6. #6
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    Lindsay,
    For a 18 year old you are being very brave and making some good decisions . OK don't try and run before you can walk , let each stage sink in . At your age hormones may have more of an impact but please don't be too disappointed as others have mentioned they aren't magic pills performing instant transformation , they have different effects on different people .

    I know where you're coming from with the " Lesbian " label , I feel very much the same inside but it's not one that goes down well so take care not to offend people that have become your friends .

    I hope it continues well for you and your University course goes well .

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    All of us older sisters here surely wish you well but please understand our concern that this seems (to us) very hasty. Some of what you've written appears very idealistic, oft times life is not so neat. Don't expect a bed of roses is the best advice we could give you and that frankly applies to adult life more generally tbh.

    As for the self-identification as lesbian you might be well advised dating pansexuals as actual lesbians are unlikely to be thrilled with what's in your panties, given your rejection of SRS.

    Best wishes though. Keep us posted.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lana Mae View Post
    Lindsay, I hate to put a damper on all of this enthusiasm, but like Micki said HRT is not a ticket to pretty! I have been on HRT for 8 going on 9 months and there has been no redistribution of fat! Nope, no hips not on the face nowhere! I do have decreased body hair growth but that does not include the face or legs! Small "A" cup breasts! My Endo stated that some changes could take up to 5 years to be noticed and may not occur at all! Each person is different of course but there are no guarantees! OK, so now that we got that out of the way! Best wishes on your journey! Hugs Lana Mae
    Hello Lana, I will take heed of your words of wisdom, and am by no means as naive as I appeared to be in my main post. I know the time necessary for changes is long in this process, as I've well researched HRT, even before I knew I was a girl. I can't help but being optimistic though, it's just my personality! I wish I could have boobs in a month, but I have a logical brain, and that brain is telling me, "eventually", so there's not that much sadness or frustration.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Thanks Abbie, I know I sound like a don't know how hard it's going to be! My positive soul is going to be crushed the first time I experience bigotry, rejection in career, and rejection in love, all things trans people have dealt with. While I am young, I do know that I'm sure that I am a girl, no one's going to label me as a crossdresser anymore (something I'm dealing with with my dad). I can't help myself when I sound idealistic and fantastical... I honestly believe that lesbians who self-identify as lesbians, while also dating a trans girl, exist and are valid.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member sarah_hillcrest's Avatar
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    Lindsay, this makes alot of sense to me, the more immersed you get into a trans-positive environment the more likely you are to start feeling dysphoric. It would probably be the same for anything, say Punk music, you're curious about it, you go see a show, maybe meet some bands. Before you know it your wearing makeup, leather, riddled with piercings, and can't imagine how you ever lived without the scene. Thing is a person has to have that initial spark. I would tell you to be cautious and think things through spend some time just trying things out before you commit to something as life altering as HRT, but hell it's 2019, its a brave new world.

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