Well, this is a post that probably belongs on the "Transsexual" board, but it relates to a previous post in this board.
Here's the last post I made on here: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...705&highlight=
... which was 3 months ago, and 1 month after *that*, May 8, I came out to myself as transgender!! I can't believe how fast everything has gone, now that I think about it. Pre-coming out to myself seems like a distant memory, including that post.
Anyways, here's the juicy details on why I know for sure now, as compared to that last post in which I was just beginning to seriously think about it.
I can't stand masculine parts of body now. Body hair, flat breasts, strong jawline and generally not-soft & round face, lack of hips and butt distribution of fat, deeper than average for females voice. The very thing I said I was *so sure* I was comfortable with, my genitals, are gradually becoming more annoying (and dysphoric) as I try desperately to pass - without the horrid "bulge".
I love the idea of going out with my girlfriends and just being accepted as a girl. No questions asked, not a slight sign of masculinity. I also know that I am lesbian now because of coming out. It took me a while (eh, it was only about 2 months after coming out to myself) to get used to that term! I have since joined better/more convenient support groups for me online: Discord servers for trans people (but mostly trans girls are there) and lesbians [The Valley and Actuallesbians, respectively]
The coming outs to family were spread out over a month, in June and July, and all but my dad have been supportive and proud of me. Dad's a bit worried that it's only an "obsession with being trans", since I have OCD. He's across the country now, so I can't even explain to him face to face that OCD doesn't work like that, my compulsions are just thinking in sentences of, and doing things in, multiples of four & repeating a "mistake" to my mind until I get it right.
I live in the US and going to Boise State University, which as most college campuses are, is very LGBTQ friendly. I already found a group of girls to hang out with after the main part of orientation in the evening; I never felt happier in a social situation as I did sitting with four of these girls in a dorm room at 11:00 at night. 💖💖
I already have high hopes that I'll be pretty after being on HRT for a while, which I plan to start on my birthday, Sept 9! I have a vivid, beautiful dream of one day marrying my wife in a brilliant white gown. I also got a trans girl roommate after my mom promptly demanded I get switched out of the all-male, communal showers dorm room. I think I might cry the first time I find truly close, female friends and go shopping together (or anything girly really), as I had no luck with friends as a boy: well, that's soon gonna change as I will surely be the charming (and still introverted, but maybe less socially anxious) girl of the party, who effortlessly attracts both female and male attention and companionship!
I love you all and thank you for your advice, as I did see a GREAT gender therapist, ironically after I already figured out I was a girl. :P
Peace and happy dressing! I'll see you in the women's room
Lindsay