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Thread: Do you want to BE a woman or ...

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    Do you want to BE a woman or ...

    When I put on my first pair of (Mom’s) panties and rummaged through her fascinating drawer of stockings, girdles, and bras, I just wanted to touch those sensuous things and experience what it was like to wear them. The more I watched women and men, the more I decided I did not want to grow up to be a man, wished I would grow up to be a woman, and admired the lives the girls in my neighborhood seemed to be living. For a while, I thought dressing as a woman would be enough. It wasn’t. And, of course I could not stop my physical maturation as a man and Intook on stereotypical male roles — maybe over compensated for my repressed transgenderism by becoming hyper-maco in some hobbies and external dress (even though I’ve worn panties 24/7 for 49 years).

    Now, actually, I dress less often because the dysphoric hangover is so severe. It’s actually easier to just stay away from my forms, skirts, and heels so that I don’t have to take them off. Kinda crazy? At least I can wear my panties 24/7 :-).

    How about you? Do you wish you were a woman? (I do.) Or do you just enjoy dressing like one? Nancy

  2. #2
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I have come to the point where and it has taken a lifetime to realize that I AM a woman! At 4-6 I wanted that dress! I never received it! I was then indoctrinated into being a male! I even accepted that role but did not realize I was really a female! A wise person once said The sum total of who we are is not determined by our genitals!(Holly) Many other factors have come forward after working closely with my therapist! I am on HRT and my "T" and "E" levels are both in the female range! HRT aside, I am the happiest I have ever been and that is saying a lot! I am in the process of saving money for the name and gender change! After that possible surgeries! I do not wish I was a woman, I am! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
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    My dad often used a familiar old saying in regard to wishes: “if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” To this day, I cannot say the word “wish” or so much as think “I wish...” without hearing those words.

    So, does that mean its wrong to wish or dream? I don’t think that’s the intent. The question becomes what do you make of your wish or dream. Are you willing and able to make whatever that might be into a reality? The answer to that question, in my case, is that I’m only willing to go so far. I have spent considerable time, emotional energy and money...and lost a marriage in pursuit of living as a woman. But, unlike Lana Mae, I can neither say confidently that “I am a woman” nor am I willing to risk any more towards fulfilling my own wish. At best, I’ll remain somewhere in between the gender poles, gravitating towards one or the other as circumstances dictate or permit.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  4. #4
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    I never thought I would transition to be a woman.
    Even sometime ago, when I started on hormones wasn't sure where I would get.
    Almost years and a half in HRT, the only regret is or did it before it life is good now, I stay married with my lo e for 40 years, have 3 amazing kids that gave me 3 daughters, and a grandkid 10 years old. I don't it would be better in other way. Who knows?
    HRT 042018; Full time 032019
    Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
    Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
    Breast augmentation surgery 012022
    GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION

  5. #5
    YOULOVEMYTOES Palaina Nocturnus's Avatar
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    Yes, I wish daily I would just wake up as a female

  6. #6
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Nancy, I have no desire in transitioning. I love wearing women's clothing, but it stops there.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  7. #7
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    At times I have desired to be female but overall I don't want to change

  8. #8
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    Though I often wish I were a woman transition is highly unlikely for me at this time. I know myself well enough to know that it wouldn't be a good decision.
    Last edited by Elizabeth G; 08-15-2019 at 08:43 AM.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Yes I do is the short answer.

    I have spent the last few years looking for the answer to this question. It is something you just have to answer for yourself. No one can answer for you.

  10. #10
    Member Denise S's Avatar
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    Yes, I want to be a woman. But I can’t, right now.

  11. #11
    Junior Member
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    I like to wear women's clothing but that's it.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member
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    I have long wished that I had been born female, but I don't consider myself to be female. For me, I don't think surgery and hormones would make me into what I would like to have been.

  13. #13
    Member Lux's Avatar
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    What? And give up my male privilege?
    Joking aside, I definitely fall into the happy to be a male but absolutely love my occasional fem time!
    Having said that, I am probably one of the most sensitive men at work and a lot of my female co workers treat me as one of the girls and invite me in boy mode to their GNO’s. A few to many macho Alpha men to fully come out at work but I’m fine with that.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Yes very deep down I am a man but even much deeper than that I feel I am a woman, sure transition and surgery is not on the agenda but dressing is high up on the spectrum of what I want to do with my life.
    Which is the best for me? the simple answer I have is that I much prefer dressing in my femme things, those few drab days are very hard to handle and on returning home I have to change as soon as I get inside. Dressing for me is what life was meant to be.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  15. #15
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    If only I knew the answer to that question. From my mid-thirties to early forties I struggled with severe gender identity issues. After much soul searching, prayer, and heart to heart discussions with my wife I realized that transitioning would not provide the peace I was seeking. My wonderful and supported wife gave me the space to explore my feminine side. With her love and support my level of dysphoria dropped dramatically.

    I now see myself as a man who has certain feminine tendencies rather than woman in a male body.

  16. #16
    Breathes under water prettytoes's Avatar
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    It's just the clothing for me....I'm fine with being a man; my wish is that anyone could wear whatever they want without social consequences.
    Life's too short to not be enjoyed! Live each day to the fullest!

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Even before I started wearing my Mom’s things I remember wishing I had been born a girl. I am happy with being male and I have no desire to change that, I like where I am in life.
    Crissy

  18. #18
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    Nancy,
    You mentioned yourself that your preference is not being male and that's the way I see it .

    OK I have dysphoria but I look at it as I no longer want to be seen in male mode , I much prefer to live my life dressed comfortably as a woman and integrate into the RW , the bonus for me is they then see me more as a woman .

    Do I want to be a woman ? Well yes but it's not going to happen , I'm now living my life as close as I can get to that ideal , we can't live our entire lives wanting something we may never have but I'm more than happy and comfortable with what I have .
    Last edited by Teresa; 08-15-2019 at 05:19 AM.

  19. #19
    Member VS Fan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HollyGreene View Post
    I have long wished that I had been born female, but I don't consider myself to be female. For me, I don't think surgery and hormones would make me into what I would like to have been.
    I could not identify with this statement more...
    Kelly a.k.a. VS Fan

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    I’m sure not surprised by the variety of responses so far — after all, this is a crossdressing forum, right? I’ve come to understand that transgender is a continuum with the occasional crossdresser on one end and the fully transitioned transsexual on the other. I have never felt the somewhat cliched “woman trapped in a man’s body.” Rather, I just always wished I wasn’t a guy, although Inwas not an effeminate boy. I played sports, etc. — but I always wished that I could be “hanging with” the girls, or at social gatherings when the men split off to one room to talk about cars or baseball and the women stayed in the kitchen, I would make excuses to stay around the women. They were just more interesting, and I liked watching them, how they moved, talked, their hair, makeup, clothes.

    I remember telling a professional makeover artist that I was “just a crossdresser” after she’d made me up and escorted me out to dinner. She laughed and said something like, “Sure honey, you can tell yourself whatever you want.” I opened up to her (sitting across from her at a Thai restaurant” like she was a therapist and she described the transgender continuum thing (using different words). She got me thinking, reading, and understanding...

    Now I know I’m not “just a crossdresser.” (Not that there is anything wrong with that.) And I also know, as some others have mentioned that I will never transition (mostly for family reasons.) Where am I on that continuum? Somewhere past the middle. Why does it matter? Only in my own self-acceptance. Nancy
    Last edited by NancyJ; 08-15-2019 at 06:39 AM.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Karen RHT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alwayshave View Post
    Nancy, I have no desire in transitioning. I love wearing women's clothing, but it stops there.
    I'm the same as Jamie.


    Karen

  22. #22
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    We are all on the Transgender spectrum just different places and we are not stuck in one part of that spectrum, it can change often for some of us.
    Crissy

  23. #23
    TrueNorth Strong & Fierce Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    No, never wished or had a want to be a woman. I enjoy dressing as a crossdresser or as a woman prettied up for a special occasion, you know like wearing a dress, nylons and heels!

  24. #24
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    Crissy, this is so true.
    I find myself in some sort of middle ground. I do not have any desire to transition, but equally neither do i associate with the "masculine" male type either.
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

  25. #25
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    Since I put on my first pair of stockings, it’s all about the fun, enjoyment, pleasure challenges, etc. of dressing. That’s it for me.

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