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Thread: Advice on what to do

  1. #1
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Advice on what to do

    There was a Dressbarn that I used to shop at a lot, sometimes in male mode, and other times en femme. Eventually that Dressbarn closed.

    Several months ago, I was in a different Dressbarn just checking to see if there was anything cute on the sale racks. The manager there recognized me from the store that had closed. We talked a little about the old store and the people who used to work there.

    I don't know who brought it up, me or her, but we started a conversation on Steffi working at Dressbarn en femme. She seemed to approve of that idea, and said I could be a greeter, but I wasn't sure if she was for real or just pulling my leg.

    I've been out of work now for 5 months and I have plenty of time to spare, so I contacted her to see if to see if I could be an unpaid intern. She called me back and said I would have to be an employee due to insurance issues, but that I could just apply on the corporate web site. I actually looked at the jobs available at her store, and there were no openings listed. I called her and told her that, and she said that she would look into it. After about 3 weeks, the assistant manager called me back and told me that the job openings had been posted.

    On their website it states:

    It is our policy in all employment decisions to ensure that all associates and potential associates are evaluated on the basis of qualifications and ability without regard to sex (including pregnancy), race, color, national origin, religion, age, disability that can reasonably be accommodated without undue hardship, genetic information, military status, sexual orientation, gender identity, or any other protected classification under applicable law.

    Do you think I should go for it? If so, how do I sell this to a DADT wife.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    If you still have a strong back I'm sure that they could use you to help move stuff around as needed. And being a crossdresser would be a plus because you would know your way around the store.

    Go for it!

  3. #3
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    I'd do it. As far as the SO I couldn't say. Did give me an idea for a part time job since I retired I need something to do but not mess up my S.S.I.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  4. #4
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    Yes, especially since you brought the subject up in the first place. Maybe, she went out of her way to make sure there would be jobs. And, the store called you to let you know. I had checked the corporate policy for Dressbarn and others in that corporate entity and all have the policy you transcribed.

    As far as telling your wife....that may be a different labor relations issue. Generous employee/family discount??

  5. #5
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    I would think that ANY job is better than no job, especially when you want to work. I would apply, talk to your spouse, and go for it. Work is work, I'd be proud of you.
    Kelly DeWinter
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  6. #6
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    This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but please check the status of your particular Dress Barn store. The parent company has announced the closing of all 650 stores, unfortunately. Apparently, they are not all closing at once. Yours may have a reprieve.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    I absolutely think you should go for it, you would be perfect there and like Marion said they could use you moving things around.
    I like Kelly’s idea on how to do this. Please let us know how you do and of course we are all wishing you the best.
    Crissy

  8. #8
    stone free mykell's Avatar
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    well it sounds like the perfect opportunity, make money "check", get a discount "check", educate folks "check", someplace to go dressed "check", DADT MRS. mmmmmm, start work in drab and have the conversation with your wife that they said it was OK for you to work dressed, as far as the store closing, is it worth the trouble it may cause for a temporary gig.

    charlotte russe is back in our mall in the same location....so its your call....
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that those who deny freedom deserve it not for themselves
    NOBODY gets a pass to blow out someone else's candle in order to make theyre's shine brighter

  9. #9
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Apply and tell your wife. I presume that extra income will be worthwhile to her

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  10. #10
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    There is nothing more debilitating than being unemployed. I know this.
    Go for it. Explain to your wife that it will be an ego booster if you get the job.
    She will probably be more aware than you, of the way unemployment is weighing the two of you down.
    Good luck.
    Have you ever noticed that all those in favour of abortion have already been born?
    "If we had never sinned, we could not have called Christ, Saviour!"
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  11. #11
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Go for it income and an easing of finances in the home not forgeting the boost in your self esteem, if I were you O would not sit around waiting as you say the job has been posted on the company website get in before the rush starts. If you do not get the job then at least you tried your best and you would not have the thought rattling around in your head after "I wish I had applied earlier"
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  12. #12
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Work is work no matter how you are dressed.

    I realize that you want to dress en femme and the store manager is encouraging dressing like a woman, but if your wife is totally against it, maybe you could start out working in male mode. It sounds like the store manager wants YOU, not what you are wearing.

    Personally, if I was out of work and needed a job, I would wear whatever covered my body at that point. Obviously the decision is totally up to you.

  13. #13
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    Go for it. They called you because you expressed an interest to the manager and she is giving you the opportunity. It may be short term, but it is more experience in a new line of work - something to add to your resume. The wife may not be thrilled but if she has a problem with you being unemployed then that is a relief for her even if it is not what she would prefer you do. Not many negatives that I can see.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    A potential employer, who had made overtures such as you describe is that you should seriously consider. That said, going to work every day, en femme, will be an issue at home. Work that out before accepting any offer.

  15. #15
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Agree with Aunt Kelly. Without the wife's approval it doesn't sound feasible.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    Steffi, I’m a little confused by the timing of this. DressBarn has announced closing all 500 retail locations by the end of 2019. The one closest me has already closed following their “Going Out of Business” sale. Was she leading you on??? Nancy

  17. #17
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Steffi, Is your wife going to accept you working at Dressbarn? If I remember correctly she is rather negative on your dressing.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  18. #18
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Well, a job is a job. No reason why a stockroom clerk at Dress Barn can't be in male mode. I think the only temptation is spending too much on clothes.
    Working in fem sounds fabulous. But, doing direct customer service might not be the best idea. Although there is corporate policy, there is still a real world impression.
    Maybe CD at work occasionally and in a more clandestine capacity.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  19. #19
    Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    In Florida the Dress Barn closed stores but reopened them under another name. Our group goes to them on occasion after meetings with special arrangements after the normal store hours. So there may be a possibility of them keeping their location. Besides so what if it is short lived? It would be an awesome experience. Maybe answer some questions about yourself and your fem/male sides.

    As far as your wife....the fact that it's a DADT says she knows so I would have a conversation with her if you're work schedule entails her being home while you are getting ready for work. Otherwise an " I got a job " should bring the conversation up and let her ask the questions. If there are benefits as well as a discount it may play in your favor.
    Obviously I would go for it if I were you.

  20. #20
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    I have a friend who worked at VS before she transitioned. They told her she had to dress like all the other girls, she was in 7th Heaven.
    Crissy

  21. #21
    Silver Member Meghan4now's Avatar
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    Steff, this kind of sucks.

    Mykell's suggestion is the closest to workable, but based on your previous posts about your marital situation, I would think the probability of disastrous discord is high. What sucks is that I would so want to take that job. It is sad that you've gotten this far in lining it up, just to not follow through. But remember your loyalty is to your wife before promises to the store manager.
    Put on a Happy Face.

  22. #22
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Well, Dress Barn is in process of closing all their locations, so if you don’t mind being out of a job in a few months to a year, then go for it. I’m kinda surprised they’re hiring to be honest.

  23. #23
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    When stores close they often ramp up staff because the going out of business sales can get very busy.

    You will have to ask your DADT wife what's more important, a job or you not dressing.

  24. #24
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    In addition to the points already listed, your employment details will have to be in your real name with tax references so that the store is operating legally. You might be able to arrange being employed as a man and changing to female presentation at work.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post

    You will have to ask your DADT wife what's more important, a job or you not dressing.
    ...or the employee discount Stef will have access to.

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