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Thread: Feeling guilty

  1. #26
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Sounds like you’re on a pretty normal development arc. For a lot of the girls here, this all started as a sexual thing, but then progressed into something else. For some it will only ever be about the sexual excitement, and if that’s you’re thing, there’s nothing wrong with that. Many girls however move past that to find that dressing is more mentally and emotionally gratifying than sexual. Just two different paths. The next thing you can probably expect is a drive to perfect your presentation and a desire to be out in public, or at least be dressed around other people.

  2. #27
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    I shared similar experience when I started dressing. I've now come to appreciate when I have more / longer time to stay dressed.

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    As many here have observed you're far from alone, Nicole. I have only a little of my own to add.

    I left my feeling of guilt, about many things, when I shed my faith. I'm not saying I blame my religion for the straitjackets I wore but nor was it freeing. I started to trust my own instincts. I have always been an iconoclast and I finally gave myself, at the age of 27, permission and enough trust to take responsibility. I no longer bow to any idea I test and find wanting. This has its costs. I've had to cut a great many personal relationships because of no longer allowing myself to be taken advantage of.

    So it was with crossdressing. I found the gendering of clothing and the rigidity of gender presentation utterly nonsensical. So I rejected it. I feel no guilt. I allow little to no societal restraint to my expression. However, I do respect my wife's wishes. And while I still refuse to feel guilt I'm not so insensitive as to ride roughshod over beliefs she an not so easily divest herself of, as I once did.

    Mutual respect must be the byword for human coexistence. And that's inconsistent with the lack of self-respect that our guilt implies. If what we do if not injurious to others we should feel just fine about it.

    I hope that you can find that peace, Nicole, cos there are plenty of people in this world who will happily curtail our dignity without us doing it to ourselves.

  4. #29
    Seamstress of Skirts Asew's Avatar
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    I agree this seems like a normal path. I had a lot of guilt and shame initially about my dressing and it wasn't until I realized that this was part of who I am that I could accept this and move on from the guilt and shame. I find wearing heels around the house is only worth it if I am doing something standing such as housework, so I can totally understand the desire to dress up and clean and not being sexist.

  5. #30
    Member Leelou's Avatar
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    This is an interesting thread, Nicole, thanks for posting it. I've enjoyed reading everyone's responses. I've never had any guilt feelings about my crossdressing. To me, the guilt feelings after masturbation are a separate issue than the crossdressing. Fortunately, any guilt after release for me was minimal and easily dealt with. Even back in the '70's, when it came to sex ed, most teens had heard some version of "You don't need to feel guilty. Masturbation is normal and so are the guilt feelings--so try not to feel guilty." That worked for me.

    I've never really experienced the taking off the girl clothes after release. Some of my fondest early memories from my crossdressing life was getting my first pair of panties. I loved to wear them for hours and hours. Sleep in them. It's wasn't just about wearing them for sexual release--even though there obviously was some of that.
    Last edited by Leelou; 08-26-2019 at 06:01 PM.

  6. #31
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    It is as if there are two of me in my body, male and female. The male is dominant, but the female likes to come out. Sometimes I will get fully dressed and the male in me takes over and I need to get undressed. Other times I remain dressed for hours it feels very natural and go about my life doing things I normally do but as a woman. At times my male side will be sexually aroused by my female side or the other way around. It is if there are two of me and it is the best and the worst.

  7. #32
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    Nicole,

    I know what you mean. Nancy said something to the effect that we have been trained that this is bad. That "training" is ingrained and difficult to get rid of. I'm just working this out. I did the same thing, dress feel aroused then the release and then the "OH SHIT" what am I doing. The girl inside me needs to come out. I don't know if I will have the courage like the other ladies here to come out of the closet completely.. maybe a little peek outside. But I am going to continue this journey where ever it may take me.

  8. #33
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    Isn't it a wonderful place to be when you find that inner peace and learn to love and embrace who you are rather than the guilt and the other feelings that go along with it, I used to suffer the same in my teen years, they were tough times

    But now, many years have passed and that lovely inner peace that I am feeling being me, dressed in some lovely clothes, feeling nice and feminine and as you say, who does it hurt

    Glad you found your peace and enjoy your "me time"

  9. #34
    Dandizette LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    One thing to consider is a phenomenon called "Post Coital Dysphoria." It's caused by a hormonal crash after orgasm. When I was younger I experienced this all the time even when having vanilla sex with a partner. At the time I interpreted it as shame but I couldn't really think of a reason to be "that" ashamed. As I got older that feeling gradually went away. Now, I'm shameless.

  10. #35
    3dxchat User JuliaGirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LilSissyStevie View Post
    Now, I'm shameless.
    That one made me giggle. If found pretty much the same thing ... felt a bit shameful in my teens, now it feels wonderful dressing.

  11. #36
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    Don't feel guilty about dressing and how it makes you feel , wether it makes you want to release your self or not. It's different for each girl.Don't deny your self what feels right and is pleasurable, in the long run it's healthier! Devone

  12. #37
    Junior Member Kelly-o's Avatar
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    I went through the exact same guilt and regret as well. I can remember the almost panic while trying to remove make-up and change out of my clothes. It took time but now I am quite comfortable with myself dressed up or not. A lot of the things that I once feared no longer bother me. I was once so afraid to go into a store and buy a bra. Now I walk in like nothing stand in line don't hide it and walk out like nothing. Maybe once we have enough experience things work themselves out and we just gain self acceptance and peace. But maybe I have no clue what I am talking. LOL

  13. #38
    Aspiring Member Pumped's Avatar
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    I never felt guilt or shame about dressing, but was nervous about what my wife would think when she found out, and I believe they will eventually. My wife was just hurt that I did not talk to her about it and hid it.

  14. #39
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    I still feel guilty after I CD. I hope that feeling subsides at some point.

  15. #40
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Nicole, I understand you’re married and closeted. I’d be willing to bet that a good chunk of your guilt comes from not being able to be open and honest with her.

  16. #41
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    Hi Micki, you could be right. The thought of telling her makes me physically nauseous. Beautiful profile pic btw.

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