Obsessive buying

[Cynthia_0101]

To each his own I guess. I have not bought a new piece of clothing for at least a year now because I really have everything I need, barring holes in my pantyhose. But at one time I would go to every sale I could find just to walk away with something. My weakness now is makeup, there is always new colours and products to try.

Cynthia

[Jenny22]

When I got over the feeling of "That's so pretty, gotta have it," my buying really slowed down as the pink fog dissipated quite a bit. I still daily look at all the pretties on links sent to me, but it's rare that I'll buy something unless it's fantastically beautiful, and might just fit, with effort, in my closet.

[Devi SM]

I can explain that with my own experience.
I was a crossdresser. I'm my mind the manifestation of the woman was to buy and wear if possible outside or posting g pics here. That's the common factors here.
The more.time was passing that wasn't enought.
I had shoes that I was try just once and never wear them again because my mind keep looking for more.
Today I'm a transgender woman like Iiving full time I mean to be.
To dress and to buy has passed to a second or may be in a more behind place in my priorities but I didn't know that because for many crossdressers is just dressing up to the moment, as to me happened, that's ot just dressing.
Now I'm very reasonable in my purchases.
Wife and me go shopping together and other refrain the other for eccentricities and excess.
If is practical, beautiful, needed we buy it. If course, there are so many times I buy something because the price was a bargain ut whe we go back to our closet, there's no room for more even we keep out season wardrobe in another " loset" in a shed.
So for me, it's no OCD but an unresolved identity problem.

[LingerieLuvr]

Panties are my weakness. I don't need 200 panties. But every time a new season comes around there are new prints and new colors. I can't stop myself, I have to have the new colors just because they're pretty!

This is where I fall in terms of "collecting" or "addiction". I have acquired panties for years, and have over 600, but a lot are no longer what I prefer to wear, so I have been evolving what I keep immediately at hand, and storing the unfavorables . In the past 2-3 years, I began wearing bras, and have acquired way too many (I would guess around 200), but part of what has happened is the need to have matching bra and panties, and it is now a peeve for me. I prefer to have them match. Now I am a VS loyalist, so I have lots of things that are matching; for instance, matching bra and panties (different styles but matching colors), plus matching slips and/or gowns. I used to find a style of a particular panty I liked, and then buy one of every color...these days, I'm more concerned with finding the few colors that have the matching bra and panty.

[Maid_Marion]

I had a turning point few months ago in the Target discount rack when I decided not to buy something that was just my size and color. I couldn't figure out when I'd wear it, or what I'd wear it with!

[Helen_Highwater]

Peta,

So you asked;" From the older posts it seems like the obsessive collecting of women's clothing causes as much harm to relationships as the act of cross dressing itself. Is it common that cross dressers have extensive wardrobes, or did I just pick up some select posts? I did see mention of 200panties and 120 dresses, so some are obviously having a great time shopping. "

Well from being here a while it does seems that some do have extensive collections however I can't say that I see it as the norm. As with most things we're all different. I've about 20 pairs of knickers. Partly that's because I like to match my underwear to the outer layer and also to allow for a clean pair between each wash day with a few in reserve. I have limited opportunity to wear dresses around the house and even fewer opportunities to wear one out and about. Knowing this has made me highly selective in what I buy.

Before I started going out enfemme I shopped online as many others do. However now I do go out I've sort of made it a rule that I'll only buy if I can try it on in the shop first. Also anything I buy has to have a purpose, something I'll have occasion to wear out and about. I wouldn't for instance buy a ball gown unless I knew I'd a ball to go to no matter how good it looked on or how much of a bargain it was. I'd much rather buy something that I can wear as an everyday item and get the use of.

We get the ladies clothing mini catalogues through the post on a regular basis and thumbing through them you see many lovely dresses. I can understand the urge to buy could be overpowering but for me I'll resist and keep my wardrobe a manageable size.

So as you're new to all this the size of your wardrobe is in your hands. My advice is shop well, be choosy, buy things you'll have time to wear. Oh and my top tip, once your wardrobe is of a certain size and you'll know when that is, operate a one in, one out regime. That way you keep your wardrobe current.

[Peta_cd]

Thanks for sharing your experience. The size of some of the collections is staggering, but then they are collections - as Tracii G says possibly similar to collecting stamps, books bicycles etc. In some cases there seems to be an additional emotional attachment to the clothing - I have been wearing clothes for 40 years, but do not keep everything, except for a few select pieces from a special occasion. Its good to see that CD'ing and collecting are not necessarily one and the same thing, and that CD'ing does not have to result in a large credit card bill

So as you're new to all this the size of your wardrobe is in your hands. My advice is shop well, be choosy, buy things you'll have time to wear. Oh and my top tip, once your wardrobe is of a certain size and you'll know when that is, operate a one in, one out regime. That way you keep your wardrobe current.

I'll take this sensible advice - much like buying everyday (drab) clothes

[Sometimes Steffi]

From what I've seen here, some girls have a very extensive wardrobe and some only have a small suitcase full, easier to hide.

Some are also collectors of some particular clothing style, like full slips or classic nightgowns.

If you're obsessing over buying too much for yourself, you can use my three rules:

1. Set a monthly budget
2. Buy only what you will wear. Since most of my crossdressing is out and about now, I limit my purchases to what I would wear out of the house.
3. Save some money so you can take advantage of bargains you can't resist, like summer closeout sales now and after Christmas sales.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Peta , Welcome to our forum.


I have been in this program for 72years now, I now have three closets full and 160+ pairs of heels,

flats & boots.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Orchid .oOOo.

[Maid_Marion]

There is a annual cycle for sales, so that if you miss a sale you could wait until it repeats again next year!
If you are on a very tight budget waiting for sales may be a better strategy that buying at a thrift store, as it may be easier to find exactly what you want.

Especially if you study up on what you really need while you are waiting. There is a ton of style and fashion advice on the web, some of which I find to be very useful.

[suzanne]

I admit I may have gone overboard on the purchases. But there's more going on than just an obsession. I was a teenagerin the seventies, a time when there was no greater taboo than for a boy to exhibit the slightest bit of femininity. So now that Pandora is out of the closet, she wants to try and buy everything she sees. It also means I'm getting older and running out of time in which to rock a pretty dress.

Another factor is that very often, you only get one chance to buy something when you see it in the store. I learned this the hard way several years ago at Payless shoes. I found a really nice pair of patent leather wedges. Everything about them was right for me, but I decided I had already spent enough money that day and would pick them up in a couple of weeks. WRONG. I never saw them again and I feel like they would have been one of my favorites to this day. Since then, my mantra has been, don't expect to get a second chance to pick up something you like.

So yes, some might think I can be obsessive with over five dozen dresses in my closet, but I have heard of worse cases and I still know how to say No.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Suzanne

I totally agree. Don't expect a second chance. I even lost a great find before I even left the store.

I had found a really cute pink handbag, last one, on sale. I was looking for other things and didn't want to be embarrassed by carrying a pink handbag around the store. I went to pick it out just before checking out and it was already gone! So bummed out!

But, don't forget that you can buy something, try it on, even take a picture or two (or a dozen) and then return it. It's a tip I got from my gender therapist when I told her about my excessive buying. It just takes a little more muffins than buying it from an SA in the first place.

[jacques]

hello Peta,
I used to give myself a monthly budget for shopping; but often found a reason to spend more!
luv J

[Palaina Nocturnus]

Hello Peta,

When I first started identifying as a CD, I started my collection of clothes and shoes (read high heels and sandals lol) and now I have a wardrobe. I'd say the only thing I'm obsessive about are sandals and open toed high heels, I have soooooo many I lost count.

One huge factor for me was leaving an oppressive and abusive relationship and starting a new relationship with the foundation that I am a CD and NOTHING will EVER change that.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

No I'm not suggesting a break up, just how I made my decisions and my end results.

[abbiedrake]

I'm with Micki (as per flaming usual).
Starting out is often the danger zone. I call it my girl adolescence. I didn't spend a huge amount cos I shopped at charity shops (goodwill/thrift for our Murican cousins). But while I was aiming for classy mid 40s lady I ended up with late 60s given up. Lol

Still I now have a much better handle on what works, what simply won't no matter how much I love it, what's too young /old etc. Finding brands you like and can rely on for sizing helps. Mine's Joe Browns. Which is handy since my wife loves them too. Hence we each bought a pair of these.
Screenshot_20190814_100842.jpg

[Leelou]

Welcome, Peta! This is an interesting thread for me because it's an issue that I don't want to get out of hand for me. I have a reasonably decent wardrobe and the only thing in my collection that I consider excessive are panties. I have about 150 pairs, but they were bought over many years and I'm pretty much done buying new panties.

I have about 25 dresses, 15 skirts, 25 pairs of shoes and boots, 30 tops, 30 bras, 20 pairs of jeans/capris. I have a funny way of justifying the money I've spent on women's clothes. I see guys towing fancy boats or riding $30K Harleys, and I think to myself--"See, there's no way I've even come close to spending that kind of money on my little hobby."

[abbiedrake]

"pretty much done buying new panties"

LMAO. As if!! 😁

[daphne g]

no im not compulsive ive only got about 500 pantyhose