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Thread: Age appropriate

  1. #51
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    Usually I dress my age -- sort of. But sometimes I'll see something like a cute miniskirt or a metallic gold clubbing dress and think "Why not?"

  2. #52
    Aspiring Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    I think we may need more accurate descriptions, preferably with pictures. A dress is feminine or stylish. And yes, both older and younger women can wear dresses. But there's a difference between body-hugging, short dresses that a younger woman might wear, and a slightly looser, longer, more skin covering but still stylish and feminine dress that an older woman might wear.

    Look at the difference between these age groups:

    Dresses for younger women:
    https://sc01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1AA8mH...Xq6xXFXXXb.jpg
    https://www.lulus.com/images/product...4812.jpg?w=560

    Dresses for older women:
    https://www.outfittrends.com/wp-cont...lder-Women.jpg
    https://24myfashion.com/2016/wp-cont...016-2017-9.jpg


    And here's a woman in her 70s wearing a skirt (or is it loose pants - I can't tell but it doesn't matter), who is also feminine and fashionable! And she's not trying to look 20. I don't think I'm allowed more than 5 links per page, so you'll have to copy and paste this in a browser window:

    https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2013/03/19/arisethcohen_009_custom-7463a651ce088095479b8badbea723ab8f44690a-s800-c85.jpg
    I'd agree that dresses are feminine for the most part, but not necessarily stylish. But, I think body appropriate and venue appropriate are much better tests for choosing an outfit than age. I could see a fifty something woman with a nice figure wearing the fitted dress in the first younger woman pic, but not necessarily the second, but that's just my taste and not a statement of appropriateness. I would wear neither of the dresses for body appropriateness reasons.

    The pics of the older women's styles would are not things I'd ever choose. They are definitely age appropriate, but my style is more casual, simple and clean. Again, not an age thing but a taste thing.

    The last outfit of the older lady is stylish and I might consider if it fit right. But, I think it would be appropriate for a younger woman too.
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  3. #53
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    Hi Steffi , Age is only a number, It lets them know many candles to put on your Birthday cake.


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  4. #54
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    "Age appropriate" totally ignores the fact that both men and women still have sexual relationships when they are old. So yes, old people can wear sexy clothes. For exactly the same reasons as young people!
    People biologically faster and live longer than ever before, which means that we can have several LTRs in our lifetime. If you are 60 and live to 85 that is 25 years!

    Some CDs dress like hookers and porn stars and wear those clothes where they should not. This creates a bad image of CDs.

    There is difference in clothing for different age groups. Clothes for older gals tend to have ruffles and other embellishments to distract the eye to hide the ravages of time.
    Not needed if you have firm, flawless skin. How well you have taken care of yourself will make a big difference in how you look. Some old people look very young while some young people look old.
    Too much time on the beach can be very hard on the skin, making people look old even though their diet and exercise has been excellent.
    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 08-25-2019 at 06:30 AM.

  5. #55
    Aspiring Member Sabrina133's Avatar
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    Stefi, i completely agree. Wear what makes you feel good and look good. Why, if you can still pull it of, should you deny yourself the opportunity to look sexy? Both my wife's and my attitude is that it is more important to wear something that is appropriate for the occasion. Last night, my wife and I went to dinner with friends at a well known italian restaurant in Kansas CIty. I wore leather leggings and a silk peasant blouse and heels. She wore tight jeans and a sweater - yes, it was actually very mild in KC. It matched what most people were wearing. It would have been inappropriate to wear long formal gowns. If we are partying in what we call the Power and LIght district or westport, I might actually consider wearing flashier...you just have to consider the locale and event.

    Its kind of interesting because a few years ago, i asked the same question here - my wife were out and about and i saw a young person on the street wearing a corset (it was in the Crossroads district, near the old Hamburger Mary's location), fishnets etc. So I posted the question - was it really appropriate? It was not Pride Week - simply about 2PM on a saturday afternoon in Mid-Town Kansas City. So many here thought my question was inappropriate answering - people should be able to wear what they want when they want. Just find it interesting.

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  6. #56
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    I saw a GG probably in her sevenths or beyond
    In Mc Donald's just Now wearing
    The things a young woman would choose
    Cuffed denim shorts flowery t shirt
    Cute Sandals and a big smile . She absolutely rocked
    the look !
    I feel
    we all should feel free to do the same .
    I do not dress my gender
    so why dress my age


    JAS

  7. #57
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sabrina133 View Post
    Stefi, i completely agree. Wear what makes you feel good and look good.
    But who decides what “looks good?”

  8. #58
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    I think if we were intimidated y what was appropriate we wouldn't dress at all in clothes that are not gender-appropriate, but we do. The reality is that if we dress too young the public will criticise us more for this than being gender-inappropriate, so it is significant. It depends o whether or not YOU think that matters. I am fortunate in looking much younger than my years when I wear a wig and make-up but I always dress in classy clothes. Yes, sometimes the skirts are short because I have the legs for it, but you can do this as part of a classy outfit. I have been professionally styled and had my colours done so I know how to do it. If a man in a dress looks good, he is already getting away with it - and the outfit is as important as the body language. Age is important but not critical - it depends on why YOU are presenting yourself how you are. THAT is critical. But it is a case of your feelings versus reactions - whatever rocks your boat.

  9. #59
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    Doesn't it depend on what statement you are trying to make, and where you are making it. Take me for example: no one is going to mistake me for a teenager, in any gender, so if i go out in public, again in either gender, I'm going to get some odd looks, at least. If I go out attempting to look like I'm 90, I'm going to get ignored completely, unless I wander into a nightclub populated by 20-somethings. These scenarios can go on and on, so if one's goal is to stand out, there are any number of ways to do that. If one's goal is to blend into the general population, it's going to take a little thought about type of clothes, makeup, and hair. It still leaves a wide range of possibilities, but necessarily fewer. If your goal is to stand out, that leads to a different set of clothes, makeup, and hair. And if one is staying in...anything is possible!

    It is all in the goal!

  10. #60
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    It's also being individualistic and dressing in something one feels good in, so many times one sees a woman wearing something and the imediate thought which comes to mind is "that looks all wrong" but the person concerned is happy with how she looks.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  11. #61
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    This is entirely subjective. One, laws aside anyone should be free to wear what they want. Two, plenty of people rock looks that aren't their age, young and old. It's more about how you wear something, than what it is. Three, it's a little hilarious to even be discussing it on a CDing site when many of the public would think we shouldn't dress as we choose. 🤷*♀️

  12. #62
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Abbie, you hit the nail on the head. I totally agree with this "anyone should be free to wear what they want." My only comment would be that they do it legally, wherever they are. Now, I and no one else has to like what they wear. We don't have to associate with them and may laugh under our breath about them. The outliers when it comes to presentation are well aware that they attract attention and may get negative comments. They get to live with their own decisions and learn, if they are trying, to do it better, or not. However, it is not for me or anyone else to say that they "should" dress according to our own beliefs.

    When "we" start to say that is wrong and shouldn't happen (they should not dress that way), on what are we basing it on and on what right do we use to justify that the other is wrong? Micki said it well when trying to determine what is or is not acceptable when she said, "But who decides what “looks good?”

    I personally dress everyday, to be me. I dress just like most others dress that I see and interact everyday at the coffee shop, supermarket, mall, dinner, out or whatever. I use the laws to protect me from verbal and physical abuse to dress as I please. I believe that I and no one else has the right to dictate what others wear. If you do not like it, ignore it. That sounds better and is much better than trying to control, by peer pressure or whatever, how someone should fit the mold as we may have constructed it.

    My continued resistance to threads like this is because this site is a support site to all, from panty wearers, sissy dresser, drags queens and wanna be queens to those that just want to be in whatever presentation they deem correct for themselves. We should support all as best we can and ignore those that are outside our self created norms of correctness. I have been out thousands of times in the suburbs and large city centers. I so rarely seen people who dressed so far out there to cause me to remember what I even saw. They are rare and these types of conversations are really not even necessary.

    It may be fun for some to discuss and debate, but it really is flogging the dead horse. Support of others is much better for all rather than criticizing them on a support site.

    Another Abbieism: "Three, it's a little hilarious to even be discussing it on a CDing site when many of the public would think we shouldn't dress as we choose. 🤷*♀️".

  13. #63
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    You've summed it up well, Allie. The self appointed fashion police were really getting on my nerves. We all have our opinions about many things, including how people dress, but for one man in women's clothing to be telling another why they are doing it wrong is just ridiculous.

  14. #64
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by abbiedrake View Post
    One, laws aside anyone should be free to wear what they want.
    I agree, this sounds nice. But let’s just go a little deeper. Why do we choose what we choose? I can think of two fundamental motives. One, to please ourselves. Or two, to be accepted by others, which means having certain goals in mind and wearing things that will accomplish those goals, all while letting others know who we are.

    I’m guessing that members in this forum dress primarily to please themselves. I don't. If I wanted to please myself, I wouldn't wear anything ever. lol. But seriously, I choose my clothes primarily based on what is appropriate for the venue and my goals, combined with my personal sense of aesthetics - colors, good design, balance, and sometimes artistry (i.e. a beautifully woven scarf, hand hammered silver loop earrings, etc).

    Back to wearing things appropriate for the venue: in very general terms it's swim suits or shorts at the beach, gym wear at the gym, office wear at work, fancy dress at gala events, jeans and Tshirts while doing errands, hanging out casually with friends or at home.

    But to break it down further - I know that within each of these categories, the style of clothing I choose imparts a distinct message. I am aware of these messages and I use this knowledge to my advantage so that I may accomplish my goals. Examples: At the beach, I could wear thongs and a top that barely covers my nipples, but I choose to wear a one-piece or a regular two-piece. I want to be able to swim without worrying that my bathing suit will fall off. I also don’t want to give the message that my body is available to all and sunder. At work, I could wear short minis, body hugging tops and high heels, but I choose to not distract from what I want to accomplish (I want the men I deal with to focus on what I am saying and not my boobs or legs) and so the focus there is NOT on showing off my body. I want to look professional and be accepted as such and so I dress the part. The same principle applies to gala events (do I want to look like a hooker or do I want to be stylish). As to hanging out with friends or doing errands on weekends, I could wear see-through tops, shorts so short to leave nothing to the imagination, even the fashionable torn-jeans with the tears in suggestive places, or I can just be comfortable and wear not-too-tight jeans and tops that don’t show off my nipples and every curve of my breasts.

    There are two messages given by my examples above. Suggestive-wear implies "I am available sexually". Non-suggestive wear implies "My focus is on enjoying the activity at hand. Sex is nice but it is not my primary focus." That said, if I want to focus on my sexuality with a potential partner, then I will wear something that pleases a man. But frankly, I don’t do this every day in every place I go to. And I certainly don’t do this at work.

    To break choices down even further, we can discuss appropriate dress for different age groups. Little girls can look cute in flouncy, frilly, short, pink dresses and pinafores with bobby socks. This looks ridiculous on a full grown woman. The same holds true for sexually suggestive clothes that look good on young women who have young bodies with faces to match and who are in the market for a mate ... but even those young girls don't wear club wear to work. On an older woman? It looks as if she is trying too hard to recapture her youth when there are plenty of attractive clothing choices for all ages. And this is sad. Most people grow in experience and maturity along with their years and it's sad to see someone in our age group who hasn't done so. It's kinda like knowing a 50 yr old friend who still keeps reliving his old high school glory days every chance he gets. It gets old. Anyway, for clothes the rule of thumb is the older you are, the more skin you cover. This applies to both men and women.

    If middle-aged or older crossdressers care about how they are perceived by others (and I suspect the majority of our members who go out in public DO care how they are perceived), then they need to become aware of the subtle and not-so-subtle messages imparted by clothes. Most GGs are well aware of all these messages. If CDers don’t care at all what others think of them, then by all means they should continue to dress just for themselves. And it goes without saying that if they only dress at home they can wear what they want.



    Quote Originally Posted by Jean. Ann View Post
    I saw a GG probably in her sevenths or beyond
    In Mc Donald's just Now wearing
    The things a young woman would choose
    Cuffed denim shorts flowery t shirt
    Cute Sandals and a big smile . She absolutely rocked
    the look !
    Old ladies have always worn flowery fabrics. My grandmother wore a lot of cotton dresses and most of them had floral patterns. But, how did that 70 year-old's legs look. lol. Really. Were her shorts like Daisy Mae's or were they long shorts? And there is no age limit for sandals ... unless a 70 yr-old has bunions and cracked heels, in which case I'd wear ballet flats.

    It's like the young guys whose shorts ride well below their underwear and they bend over. You don't mind seeing the butt crack on a young guy, but on a middle-aged guy who has some weight on? No thank you. lol
    Last edited by ReineD; 08-27-2019 at 03:39 AM.
    Reine

  15. #65
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Reine, you use the word 'appropriate' repeatedly, and it is central to the question and the debate. But it's also problematic because 'appropriate' is just another way of saying 'stick to the social contract'.


    I don't doubt that you and many others see this as simply axiomatic. Common sense. But it's not. It's programmed. Much of it is born out of the biological imperatives that drive us, first amongst them procreation. And so old bodies, past reproductive age, are on the scrap heap. So far so animal. But surely we've evolved enough to be able to live differently.


    Resisting such impulses has underpinned feminism since the 2nd wave more than half a century ago. That such efforts have largely smashed against the rocks of the beauty industry, for example, is not so much because of entrenched patriarchy so much as our animal drives lead us to the same behaviours time and time again. That men still, lamentably, dominate business etc is because acquisition attracts mates. And we show little willingness to change.


    But if you do have the courage to reject that, and if enough do it, then things could be radically different. A bathing suit to the opera? Why not? Dressing in a sexual way to the office? Yeah, it could happen. You're, in the damned office so the men should know better. It's the behaviour that's less appropriate than the clothes.


    If only we were sufficiently prepared to change how we communicate. We're so damned lazy. We wear clothing that conveys meaning, semiotics, because it's shorthand. As you mention, you can choose your attire to signal your receptiveness to mating. 0But dammit how it this different to the splayed plumage of a peacock? Are you telling me that with the myriad complexities of human communication we still have to rely primarily, even solely, on how we look??!


    I know I'm banging my head against the wall, because too few of us make the effort to see the roots of why we do what we do or to think of how things might be different. And that latter is another essay entirely.


    In the meantime, all power to the outliers, to those who, through the ages, have bucked the trend. They've typically suffered for it, but without those acts of rebellion there'd be no hope for greater freedoms. Race rights, women's rights, gay rights, trans right. These all came AFTER people broke the social contract and simply refused to be broken by the weight of the mainstream.


    The biggest lesson is perhaps that Civilisation hasn't collapsed as has been predicted as each of those group has won greater freedoms and equality. It simple has not.


    I'd suggest the same is true of people who don't dress 'age appropriately'.

    PS. Reine, I know I addressed this reply to you, but I certainly didn't intend to single you out in any way. We're all bound up in these norms, to varying degrees. I hope you understand. And I'm case not, I apologise for any offence.

  16. #66
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Well, I'm a genetic male with no yearning to transition so, uncategorically, appropriate would be considered traditionally male attire. When I crossdress, age appropriate is just one of the many experiences that I enjoy.
    Actually, the subdued uber-passable look is just another activity.
    I live in a resort town that has west coast influences. Daily, I see the proverbial Malibu Barbie in her seventies with all the elements of that ageless beach girl (blonde, augmented attributes, etc...) and it just doesn't look age appropriate. But, her happiness is!

    Age appropriate? Too much leg? Too endowed? Maybe too happy. And, I've gone out for the day in both of these outfits.

    1829p.JPG 1854p.JPG
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  17. #67
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    I believe that there is no age appropriate look but rather, you have to ask yourself how much attention are you looking to attract in the setting you find yourself? If I'm older and go out in the middle of the day wearing a tight bandage dress or sensual outfits that are common on younger women, I will draw greater attention. That may be your goal. If I just want to blend into the crowd, then maybe I should wear what women my age wear in that particular context.

  18. #68
    Member Ameli's Avatar
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    For me, I think it’s great to show off your assets a little. But the key is just a little - I think keep it to one asset at a time. It’s fine to have a dress that is skin tight, or really short, or sheer, or showing cleavage. Just not all of these.

  19. #69
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    What is appropriate for work? Most of us will pick one of the two binary options, as those are much easier than sticking out someone who is obviously non binary.
    But, some of us can and do pick the third option. I've never blended in at work, so I've been able to do that.
    These days I can teach a new hire new stuff and do his work at lightning speed at the same time!
    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 08-27-2019 at 07:18 AM.

  20. #70
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonicaPVD View Post
    I believe that there is no age approprlook... ...If I just want to blend into the crowd, then maybe I should wear what women my age wear in that particular context.
    Wearing what women your age would wear is kinda the definition of the age appropriate look.
    If you, or anyone for that matter, wants to dress like someone 30 years their junior, or like a hooker, cheerleader or French maid, feel free. Just be intellectually honest enough to acknowledge the effect it will have.

  21. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by abbiedrake View Post
    Reine, I know I addressed this reply to you, but I certainly didn't intend to single you out in any way. We're all bound up in these norms, to varying degrees. I hope you understand. And I'm case not, I apologise for any offence.
    No apology necessary. I enjoy a good discussion.

    Quote Originally Posted by abbiedrake View Post
    Resisting such impulses has underpinned feminism since the 2nd wave more than half a century ago.
    Until the 3rd wave feminists, who actually embraced sexual liberation! Seriously I lived my life as a 3rd wave feminist while the 3rd wave authors were still children! But look at how the 3rd wave dresses:

    Amy Richards and Jennifer Baumgardner - Then | and Amy now, Jennifer now

    They don’t dress in a sexually provocative manner, keeping in mind these women champion sexual liberation. And do you know why? Because as GGs, they KNOW the messages that clothing choices impart. We GGs are equal to men, we’re sexually liberated, we own our orgasms, we won't put up with being sl*t or b*tch shamed - but it doesn’t mean we need to send out the message that we are sexually available to everyone. And as older women, we don’t feel the need to relive our younger years. We’ve got nothing to prove! Does this make any sense at all?

    Quote Originally Posted by abbiedrake View Post
    A bathing suit to the opera? Why not? Dressing in a sexual way to the office? Yeah, it could happen. You're, in the damned office so the men should know better. It's the behaviour that's less appropriate than the clothes.
    This may be well and good for some crossdressers, but no thank you. I don’t wish to make myself the center of attention in that way. I prefer to contribute through my other qualities.

    Quote Originally Posted by abbiedrake View Post
    Are you telling me that with the myriad complexities of human communication we still have to rely primarily, even solely, on how we look??!
    Of course not. I choose to shine through my actions, my brain, my personality. My looks are of secondary importance. Still not to ignore biology, if I set out to attract or be sexual with a man who will hopefully already have been intrigued by the aforementioned qualities, I won’t dress in an armor suit.

    Quote Originally Posted by abbiedrake View Post
    In the meantime, all power to the outliers, to those who, through the ages, have bucked the trend. They've typically suffered for it, but without those acts of rebellion there'd be no hope for greater freedoms. Race rights, women's rights, gay rights, trans right. These all came AFTER people broke the social contract and simply refused to be broken by the weight of the mainstream.
    I’m all in favor of breaking the social contract to stop any repression. Hooray for women’s, race, gay and trans rights. The next big one will be domestic and global economic inequality. But I don’t need to dress suggestively to do so. My sexuality is private. And it doesn’t rule me.
    Last edited by ReineD; 08-28-2019 at 12:15 AM.
    Reine

  22. #72
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    The other day while out driving I passed a GG who I would place in her sixties or older. Hair was up in a loose bun, full makeup, well fitting knitted mustard coloured two piece with below the knee pencil skirt and blue high heels.

    Why she was dressed that way a 09:00 on a weekday morning in the suburbs is open to speculation.

    If all she was doing was nipping down to the shops then she was definitely over dressed but if shortly off to a function then she cetainly had the figure to carry off the outfit and wouldn't have looked out of place.

    If you like the package worked. She have a lovely figure and a face free of the signs of life if I may put it that way. She was equipped to carry off a style more usually associated with a younger woman. And isn't that one of the considerations pertinent to this debate. The same outfit on a GG of the same age who'd say let things slide somewhat wouldn't have looked anywhere near as good. In fact it would make the wearer look like they were trying to live reviving former glories. Searching for a former self.

    Age appropriate also encompasses physique aporopriate. Now I know some will say wear what you like and be dammed. If you like it carry on and I have some sympathy with that, if you're a GG.

    We however aren't. If you have no qualms about standing out in a crowd, fill your boots, carry on. If however you're like me who wants to blend into said crowd then I'll continue to try to wear things suited to my shape and age. I can't pass as a woman, certainly not a teenaged woman. What I can do is merge into the background by presenting as a woman of my age. That's my plan.

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