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Thread: Am I still a crossdresser if I have't dressed in a LONG time

  1. #26
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    I believe you are a crossdresser. Tina just by visiting this forum you showed interest in cross-dressing and I feel you have a desire to crossdress. Go and buy some make up and satisfy your desire.

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Tina, yes, sounds like you are. Please try to not be frustrated with your current lack of dressing. It's a thing many go through, whether it's denial or lack of desire or can be decades, but the fact you're here and the feelings you express suggest you are a CD.

    And you know what, there's bugger all wrong with that.

    But just to extend the example others have laid out, one does not stop being a father just because your kids have left home. One does not stop being a biker cos one is preparing for sleep. Etc etc.

    Time and again this site hold accounts of those who have fought the pink fog and lost or have lost interest only for it to steamroller back into their lives.

    Hold on, and Tina will have her day in the sun again.

  3. #28
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    Tina, you've still got the Pink Fog in your blood stream. Ergo, you are still a CDer! Your make up may be old, but still usable, EXCEPT for any type of eye makeup. Give it a try. Put on some lingerie and bask in the feeling.

  4. #29
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    Sounds as if you're in the same boat as a "recovering alcoholic." Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Once a cross dresser, always a cross dresser. You have to decide whether or not you want to fall off the wagon or continue to deny yourself something in which you apparently still feel the urge to imbibe in. Are there any negative consequences to resume dressing? Are there any negative consequences to continuing to suppress the urge?

  5. #30
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Steoh is pretty much in the nail.
    If CDing was detrimental to one's health clinicians would consider it a pathology, exactly like alcoholism.

    Most of us seem to find this doesn't go away, just like alcohol abuse.

    But the takeaway is clinicians do not consider CDing pathological. Or at least not a 'disorder' that would require treatment. So it's not a threat to your health but it's overwhelmingly likely to never go away.

    As has been said, and it's backed by the majority of anacdotal evidence in this site, once a CD, always a CD.

    Or as Alan Moore once wrote: There's no such things as quitting. Just longer periods between relapses.

  6. #31
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    It depends on whether you see crossdressing as an identity or as just something you do sometimes. For me, I'm only a crossdresser in the sense that it's something I do. Likewise, I eat tomatoes, so I'm a tomato eater. But crossdressing or eating tomatoes does not form my identity even though I may continue to enjoy doing those things for the rest of my life. If I stop CDing altogether then I stop being a crossdresser.

  7. #32
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinak415 View Post
    ... kinda live vicariously through others.
    Non-crossdressers have absolutely no desire to live vicariously through other crossdressers. I agree with Micki_Finn.
    Reine

  8. #33
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    Tina,

    I'm in the same boat of not having dressed in years. I enjoyed wearing women's clothes. I liked the feel of everything and the feeling of being feminine. For me the reasons I stopped is because I felt guilty and thought I was doing something bad\wrong. Definitely my upbringing. But recently the girl inside has been wanting to come out. I'm not going to hold her back anymore and I'm going to find out where this leads me. I guess if you want to put a label on it we are crossdressers. But as some other ladies have pointed out its just a label. I want the feeling I had before of feeling and looking like a woman. If this makes sense, don't worry what you are just enjoy who you are.

  9. #34
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    Yes you are,
    Angie

  10. #35
    3dxchat User JuliaGirl's Avatar
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    I'm with Angie on this one ... yes!

  11. #36
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    Tina k, You are still a crossdresser. I have gone long periods of life without feeling the need.Then it always comes back. It is a secret part of my life. I used to get very aroused. Now I just dress for the pleasure of it.I will never really be out because there is no way I am passable. It is my way of relaxing and to forget about life for a while

  12. #37
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    My salt and pepper hair looks noticeably younger since I started engaging in "retail therapy." Helps reduce stress.

    I'd say you are still a crossdresser if you enjoy it vicariously.

  13. #38
    Junior Member HarrietD's Avatar
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    I go back and forth in dressing. I have gone for years with no desire to dress but then it emerges for some reason. I then look for opportunities and move forward. I do not worry about the label. I am what I am.

  14. #39
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Tina, Due to my prior marriage, I went years without dressing. It did not mean I did not want to dress, I knew I was a crossdresser during that period.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  15. #40
    Aspiring Member Karmen's Avatar
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    It's hard to answer to this one. If you still come here, I would say you still thinking about this, you still like the idea od dressing up, but you just don't do that any more. Why you don't go out all dressed up any more? You can't or don't want to do it any more?

  16. #41
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    There are other ways to 'go out' once you are dressed. A public venture is just one way to 'go out'. After you have spent your coniderable efforts getting all dolled-up, you can always record your efforts with a camera in the event you want to relive the experience, or share it with others. You can also get a web cam and share the experience real-time with an online buddy. I encourage you to do so. I'm waiting . . .

  17. #42
    🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕 Patience's Avatar
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    Look at it this way: Does a gay person who's celibate for 8 years still have the right to identify as gay? of course they do.

    If you didn't formally quit and care about dressing enough to be here, you must still be one of us.
    ...throw off those chains of Reason and your prison disappears...

  18. #43
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I would just say, "I've cross dressed in the past and it's possible that I will cross dress again some day." No need to fit yourself into a group or category. We're all individuals right?
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  19. #44
    Member April Rose's Avatar
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    "My name is April and I am a crossdresser."
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  20. #45
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    I can relate. The arousal was there when I furst started. I am 69 and am into it full blow. Make up, shoes and a wig. It is totally a rush

  21. #46
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    Hi Tina

    You are a crossdresser if you want to be. You still own makeup? You answer to the name Tina?? ...That might be evidence that you still are......

    At the end of the day...and at the beginning and middle too.....you are still you .......no matter the label....enjoy life

    If you lost your CD membership card I am sure one can be reissued if desired. I really don't know who is in charge but I'm sure someone can reissue you one

    Don't sweat the small stuff

    Seana

  22. #47
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    I'm not an expert by any means but there have been long dry spells for me where I not only didn't dress but purged and thought that whatever it was that "used to" make me want to dress was gone. Those non-dressing periods included total purges as I mentioned and no dressing. Not that the thought or some memory of doing it didn't come to mind now and then but when it did it was immediately dismissed further leading me to believe that part of my life was over. My dressing history in a very brief timeline started at around 12 then went dormant until I was around 30 with only fleeting brief thoughts with the next wave coming in my early 50's, another five or so years not dressing and now here I am again. Other outside factors like raising kids in our smallish first home and adult kids moving back into what was briefly an empty nest contributed to making those years of abstinence seem way too easy.

    I'm kind of slow but I finally figured out that something that has been following me and resurfacing for approximately 54 years must be a permanent part of me. Now I'm trying to fill in the rest of the blanks.

    I think it never goes away but it does "go into remission" sometimes. That has been my life experience so far.

  23. #48
    Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    If I were to purge every feminine item I owned and never bought or wore another item from the 'wrong side of the aisle' again, but still eyed all the mannequins as I passed through the women's department thinking I'd like to wear this that or the other, then I'd say I was a crossdresser at heart. The act only partially defines the characteristic. The thought process behind it would seem to be the more accurate gauge of the state of being, or not being, a crossdresser.
    "To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us." - Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

  24. #49
    Member josie_S's Avatar
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    I so relate to your post, Tina. I've gone long stretches of time without dressing--years, sometimes 4-5 years. I used to think that meant I was "cured" and so I'd purge...then something, a song or the way a woman's perfume smells as she walks past me, or seeing a sexy news anchor, almost anything could trigger it, and then I'd miss that dress/wig/shoes/forms etc that I got rid of...

    I finally came to terms with, maybe not being a crossdresser, but that I like dressing up as a woman. I know it's semantics, but it helped me to not purge. Plus I love my breastforms!

    So I say enjoy it, Tina. And don't force yourself to dress or not dress. I haven't been out in like 6-7 years myself. But I hope I can go out again sometime in the future.

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