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Thread: To the ones with supportive spouses.

  1. #1
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    To the ones with supportive spouses.

    Do you feel like they forget your male when dressed? I think mine dose. When we're out as girlfriend's. She will make comments about that would look good on you, or try this on etc.

    Now if were are out as male and female. When shes shopping. She never says any thing. She will sorta ask if some thing looks ok on her, but according to her I'm no help.

    I don't mind she's that way. Just some times I have to remind her, I can't wear every thing she can wear, and there's things I can wear. That she won't touch.

  2. #2
    Seasoned Member Rhonda Darling's Avatar
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    I notice the conversation changes. More discussion of the personal lives of women friends we know, more discussion of clothes, makeup, dieting, shopping deals, etc. She tells me, “If youre going to be a woman, you’ve got to talk and think like a woman.” When we shop together with me in femme mode, same as Ericka, she will hand me clothes that she thinks would work for me, and we’re just chit-chatty as we wander the clothes racks. I love it, BTW.

    Rhonsa
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Be all the woman that you can be!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    . . . and now, On With The Show!

  3. #3
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I think not.
    We have those conversations when out. This or that would look nice on you. That's your style, not mine.
    We still have those when I'm drab. It doesn't change with how I appear.

    Yes, in public she will call me by name and refer to me as her, she, etc but I don't think in her mind anything has changed but the clothes.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  4. #4
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Our conversations do not change no matter how he dresses.

    We were married a long time before he started CDing so I don't call him by his female name. He says it doesn't matter to him.

    Typically he is in male mode when we shop together, his choice.

  5. #5
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    Ericka,
    I've never experienced that so I would consider yourself very lucky that she accepts shopping for you , try doing it for yourself when you're in a DADT situation .

  6. #6
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    You would have to ask her, but as I have said many times, I am the same person drag or drab so our conversations don't really change.

    If either of us sees something the other would look good in we say something drag or drab.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    To the ones with supportive spouses (unlike mine, who only tolerates), do your spouses have any sisters?

    Just joking. I already have a wife, shes just not supportive. Maybe there's a pill I can give her (LOL).
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Kaylin's Avatar
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    The conversation between my wife and I hasn't changed much. Other than we like to talk about makeup alot more these days LOL

  9. #9
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I don’t mean to be rude here, but she points out things that would look good on you, but doesn’t want your input on her outfits? Sounds like maybe she has a bit of a dim view of your fashion sense and is trying to guide you.

    As for me personally, no we don’t interact differently when I’m dressed.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Do you realize how EXTREMELY lucky you are? Most do not have mates who tolerate crossdressing period! I have not known one woman who tolerates it, and those that did, would not marry a man who does it. I am 65 and still alone, Thank God for your wife!!!

  11. #11
    Senior Member JocelynJames's Avatar
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    Not for me, she holds skirts , dresses , tops, sometimes panties up to me in male mode in stores and says it will or won’t look good on me. Whenever her FB feed shows women’s clothing from different places she asks my opinion and for her or me. I’m truly lucky to have her. To her , Jocelyn(Joss) and I are one in the same . Works for me.
    If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss

  12. #12
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I think we have the same dynamic when I am dressed or not. But I don't really have a girl side, more like an affinity for girly things while never fully suppressing my male side. Perhaps the conversations are a little more about clothes and such just because what I am wearing might bring up a topic but other than that I feel the conversations are basically the same.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Ericka,
    to my wife I am just me however I dress - "it's only clothes" she says; bless her!
    luv J

  14. #14
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    To ditto Jacques wife, that’s exactly what my very supportive wife says, “they’re only clothes”. When I dress, I always ask for her opinion, which has been invaluable over the years. She occasionally teases me, with sincerity, that I can’t seem to wait to put on, things she can’t wait to take off...especially underwire bras, heels and hose, makeup, etc. She has wonderful taste in clothes and will occasionally surprise me with a blouse, skirt, etc. if they don’t fit, she’ll return the item and exchange for another. We both conveniently
    use the same brands of makeup. I trust her choices.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Tahoegurl's Avatar
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    Hi Erika, there is no difference when we interact. We shop for clothes and it can be for either men's or womens items. We talk about how it will look on me or her or both...plus it helps for those bogo sales. I is still just me in a different wrapper. And I do know how blessed I am to have a supportive spouse. Cheers.
    Life is too short to be boring...Alexandra

  16. #16
    YOULOVEMYTOES Palaina Nocturnus's Avatar
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    My girlfriend hasn't yet called me Palaina when I'm dressed and we're out, just the usual pet names lol the cool thing is there is no difference in how she actually communicates with me in general. She will pick up a cute skirt and put it right up to me in public, sizing it up, and I may be in full male mode lol she will point out pretty sparkly stuff like sandals or clothes or foot jewelry to me when we're shopping.

    I love how people react when they think I'm getting hazed by my girl when really she's fully supportive of me being a CD

  17. #17
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    I don't go out, just dress at home, but I don't notice much difference in drab or dressed. She treats me the same other than she might comment on my outfit.

    She does comment while shopping if she runs across something that might look good on me, but she is hesitant to buy anything as she does not want to explain why she is a size small and buying size XXL. i have told her that nobody cares, but she won't do it. I told her if she likes something I can go back later, or order it online.

  18. #18
    YOULOVEMYTOES Palaina Nocturnus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pumped View Post
    she is hesitant to buy anything as she does not want to explain why she is a size small and buying size XXL. i have told her that nobody cares, but she won't do it.
    Maybe she could just say they are for her sister as a present if she's THAT concerned with a random strangers opinion lol you're right, for the most part, no one truly cares. The assholes are exposing themselves one by one and we're wiping them out lol that sounds so gross lol

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    I don’t mean to be rude here, but she points out things that would look good on you, but doesn’t want your input on her outfits? Sounds like maybe she has a bit of a dim view of your fashion sense and is trying to guide you.
    As for me personally, no we don’t interact differently when I’m dressed.
    She has told me I have a somewhat horrible sense of fashion, and i dressed too old. I'm sure she was right. I dressed that way to hide my body. While she would dress like a normal woman would that was about our age(30s). She has gotten me to embrace my female side, and dress more age appropriate. She has gotten me out in a few skirts, v necks etc. Nothing super sexy, but one step at a time.

    Now as for input on her clothing. 95% of the time when we shop. Shes shopping for work clothes. Shes a manger at her job in a office type setting. So she had to dress a certain way. Usually she dresses to hide her body, and dark colors. Which is fine by me. As I don't have a clue about female office attire. If shes shopping for more casual stuff. I'm more comfortable dealing with them clothes, and shes more open to my opinion on them.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    I guess its just me then. Its ok it really is. I think it might because of my personalities in both genders. Male me is very much the avg male. I like cars, fixing stuff, beer, cigars, and fishing.

    While the female side is more of a typical woman. Make up, nice clothes, hair, heels when appropriate etc. She has told me im more woman then her at times. She doesn't do make up, heels or hair. Which is fine by me. I love her for other things.

  20. #20
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    When we are out shopping we interact like two ladies. She always asks my opinion on her choices and I do her as well (that also happens when I'm in male mode). She does sometimes call me by my male name I think because she see me dressed at home a lot.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    No, my wife does not forget that I am male when I am dressed. I don't go out dressed and my wife and I seldom go shopping for clothes together. I think once in 20+ years. Honestly, my wife couldn't care less about clothes, shopping and fashion. To her it's a complete waste of time. Clothes are just clothes.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member sarah_hillcrest's Avatar
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    Nope, we don't go out dressed but she really likes having me around when she shops and treats me like she would a girlfriend. She's more comfortable about it then I am actually.

  23. #23
    Member Tracy Ann's Avatar
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    I also don't go out dressed, just dress at home. She treats me the same but she has tole me something looks nice at times. Sometimes I will ask if a top goes with a skirt. And more times than not she will reply with what difference does it makes, no one will see it anyway.

    We do shop together and she will point out items that fit. But she would not wear most of it.

  24. #24
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    I don't go out as female but when we are shopping and she will say you like this or you want this or that. It's like she is talking to a girlfriend.
    Angie

  25. #25
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Ericka, My wife is supportive, but she does not see me other than male. When we are out and I am dressed, she calls me by my male nick name, not Jamie. I can't ever recall saying something would look good on me unprompted.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

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