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Thread: any advice for my retirement?

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    East Yorkshire UK

    any advice for my retirement?

    hello all,
    I will be retiring from work soon - do you have any advice for me?
    I dress in private at home, with my wife, in the evening. And under-dress most days.
    luv J

  2. #2
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    New England
    Enjoy it.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Meghan4now's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    A little late now, make sure you are in a good financial position?

    Sounds like you already have your wife's buy in. That's the best thing you can hope for.
    Put on a Happy Face.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    If you want to spead your wings a little maybe join a social group, our group does have one or two drive down from your part of the country once a month , also quite a few do bring their wives/partners .
    The real me ,no going back.

  5. #5
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Enjoy it and if you have a hobby maybe get more into that and try to make extra income doing that.
    I have enjoyed retirement so far and its nice to have time to do what you want to do.
    I hope you have planned for retirement financially because that is really important.It has made my life very comfortable.
    Don't believe people that tell you that you will get bored or go stir crazy because you aren't working.
    Joining a trans group is a great idea and a good way to make new friends so Teresa is right.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 08-26-2019 at 10:07 AM.

  6. #6
    Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    First; congratulations. Retirement can be a wonderful stage of life if you are prepared for it and handle it sensibly. There is a ton of general advice available online , so, with one exception, I'll stick to crossdressing related issues that are likely to come up.

    In general, have stuff line up to do; maybe even starting before you retire; a part time job ,volunteering, hobbies, a club, sports; something to keep you active and engaged, albeit at your own pace. The loafing about thing will get old and depressing very quickly.

    That said, When you are retired, you can't lose your job if the wrong person finds out about your dressing. So, big stress issue gone immediately.

    You'll be the best judge about family or neighbors dropping by unannounced, but my experience is that the daytime has become opened up as a comfortable time to dress. My neighbors are all still working, and none of them are in the habit of just ringing my bell anyway; in the age of cell phones, people have developed the habit of calling first, even if they are in the driveway.

    If some does ring the bell it's probably just a package drop off or a solicitor (in the States that's someone selling or collecting for a cause, not a lawyer) so that's a judgement call between you and your wife. My wife at first told me to go ahead and open the door when dressed, then later changed her mind. Hint;work it out in advance.

    My house has a front porch, with a hedge, about twenty yards from the street. I feel perfectly comfortable sitting out there in a dress,reading or working my embroidery.

    A lot depends on how out of the closet you are, or want to be. I am not out to my neighbors, but by now I am out to most everyone important to me, so that has removed a lot of the stress from day to day dressing.

    Your results may vary, but The big issue, any possible penalty financial security-wise, has been removed, so, if you(and your wife) are so inclined; go ahead and get your GIRL on.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  7. #7
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    France, Villessot near St Christophe
    Yes! dont worry about what you will do, you may find new friends, take up a hobby but overall enjoy!
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  8. #8
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    Jan 2012
    East coast
    Remember to retire to something and not from something.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    ontario, canada
    Pray to the lord above that one of your children don't decide its time to move home and save some money!!! It really hurts your chances to dress.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Midlands UK

    I've been retired for over 5 years having worked for over 40. I miss work like I miss a spare hole for my head! It's often said that you wonder how you ever found time to go to work once retired and I can vouch for that. Yes you slow the pace of life down, after all your time is your own but there's always something needing doing. Living in Yorkshire as you do you have many wonderful places to visit not to mention going further afield. I've lost track of how many NT places we've visited and the afternoon cream scones eaten.

    I stay in touch with old work colleagues, meeting up monthly for a "Boys that brunch" session in a Wetherspoons and join a few friends for a beer or three twice a week. I still play sport and there's always someone you know who could do with a helping pair of hands from time to time. If you find yourself just sitting around doing nothing then you're just not trying hard enough.

    As for dressing I see no reason why the status quo can't be maintained. If you want to use your new found freedom to take it further then the only thing stopping you is you, assuming you're SO is supportive. Advice on how to go about that is for another post I feel.

    Enjoy your new freedom.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  11. #11
    Biker Babe Phoebe Reece's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Atlanta, GA
    I've been retired for 15 years. I stay very busy and wonder now how I ever had time to work for a living. My advice is to ask your wife what she wants you to do with your newfound time. Then make it a priority to do that at least some of the time. Happy wife, happy life.

  12. #12
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Aug 2018
    Virginia USA
    Join a gym, work out and live to enjoy your retirement.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Figure out where you are going to put all the new merchandise now that you have more time to shop!

  14. #14
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    enjoy! If you and your wife like shopping there are a lot of dress shops in this world.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Metro East area near St. Louis, Missouri
    If you have investments such as 401(k)'s, the best choice is Vanguard....

    I like the saying attributed to Mark Twain: "No one on their death bed ever said I wish I spent more time at the office."

    Find things that engage you. I'm a volunteer high school tennis coach, play golf in a group twice a week, do shorter triathlons on a regular basis (and train for them regularly), travel--and go out dressed on a frequent basis.

  16. #16
    Junior Member Jodi Yardley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    philly burbs
    Since I have retired I have REALLY turned it up, dressing almost daily, love doing my makeup and now going out into the public.

  17. #17
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    As I get into my sixties, myself and many men that I know are retiring. And what I notice for a lot of them, is the loss of self importance that they had on the job. Most men define themselves by what they do in life. Being in charge of something, and then becoming essentially in charge of nothing, can upset us quite a bit when all of a sudden, no one is looking to us for information, and no one cares about our opinions anymore.
    Some need to feel important. That can disappear when you have no job, no position of authority over anything, and nothing to do.

    For some of us, however, it means freedom. After spending much of our lives revolving around work, sometimes with two or even three jobs, retirement, just sitting around, doing nothing in particular, is just fine, thank you.

    Some will recommend that you 'keep busy'.
    After a whole life of being always 'busy', sometimes it more fun to not feel the need to always be doing something, still rushing to keep a schedule. This is what I have seen in most; they still feel the need to keep their lives filled up with 'stuff', always hurrying about, doing one thing or another, trying to get as much done as possible all the time. They sit in traffic, pounding away at their steering wheel, honking their horn because 'they're in a hurry'. Why? Hurrying to where? What's the rush?
    It took me about six months to get rid of the feeling that I wasn't getting things done fast enough, even though there was no reason to rush at all, other than 'I want it now I want it now I want it now I want it now'.

    So slow down. Let stuff slide. It will get done. Eventually. If you're not living in a part of the country where the constant rush rush rush is the standard way of life, great. But for those of us who are? Let it go and things get done in a little more time.
    Take time out to 'smell the roses'. Enjoy the little things. And don't get upset when things don't get done right away. Because now, you have the time.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 08-27-2019 at 05:45 AM.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    Take pleasure in being able to do what you like to do and doing it when you want to do it. Stay active in the way that you prefer. Treat your body well with a good, healthy diet and regular exercise. And be sensitive to what your body is telling you about your health. If something doesn't seem right it probably isn't. Catch and cure those things early so you don't get into a health problem because that can really ruin an otherwise wonderful retirement. As you grow older things will happen health-wise and it is even more important to address them early. Do the things that require a lot of physical stamina or strength early; don't save them for later because later you may not be able to do them. Also doing those things early can help extend the time to where you need to slow down so you can do more of those active things longer; activity keeps you active longer. Don't be afraid to get a part time job and don't let it bother you when people say "I thought you were retired." Retired these days means something quite different from the old traditional concept of retirement - "taking it easy in a rocking chair on the porch (waiting to die)." That can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. And finally, Congratulations. You earned this time later in life to be yourself fully and as completely as you can be yourself. No do overs.

  19. #19
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Southern Illinois
    Congratulations on your retirement. Now, you and your supportive wife need to take time to plan your retirement then follow your plans. Many have already offered many excellent suggestions. My only suggestion is keep life and your activities in balance...private time, social time, athletic time, travel time, dressing time, etc. If you have an interest in a, art, models, etc. go for it. Yes, it’s a learning process, but it’s worth your time. If one doesn’t work, try another. Best wishes.

  20. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Almost the Great White North...
    I don’t have enough experience in retirement to offer much advice. I just appreciate the peace and quiet. Not being asked “permission” is a nice change from my prior life.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  21. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    I've been retired for a full eleven years and do not miss work at all. Hopefully you're financially secure. As to wearing women's attire I would cautions anyone to not going overboard. That seems to be the sentiment for many. The question that arises is whether or not a wife loses her husband to the pink fog. Sounds great that husband can now spend time 24/7 all dolled up? I would take Teresa's offer of joining a social group with similar interests.

    One of the major pitfalls of retirement is other people think you're fair game for intrusions into your life. Like, hey, free babysitting. Or let's all drop in and stay a week or two. Yes, find a hobby. Or become a volunteer on YOUR schedule and not someone else's schedule.


  22. #22
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Utah, north of West Jordan, south of North Salt Lake & west of South Salt Lake
    I haven't been bored since I retired just over 11 years ago. Just over half that time was spent being a caregiver, a year or so dealing with grief and much of it either being injured or recovering from injury.

    So much of the advice here is excellent. Rediscover why you and your bride fell in love in the first place, this is a time of half the money and twice the spouse, so make the best of that new situation. Get a good handle on your finances so you don't use up any windfall that may come your way on credit cards, but on some new activity. Make memories with others. Try to either get or stay fit, it giving you many more options as your world expands rather than shrinks. When you find yourself feeling restless, don't just take the easy path to the TV. Read, write, be creative, find those projects you thought you'd get to some day, but try to do at least one productive thing each day. Stay in contact with others or renew contacts. Social time is often under recommended but has so much value and can create a new schedule in your life that keeps you from just hanging around at home all the time. Maintain communication with your spouse as you investigate your gender identity and preferred expression. If you travel, work a little time in for getting out if that seems attractive. Look for social groups or support organizations or activities that you can combine with a vacation if you want the social boost in your game.

    You weren't carved in stone and despite others impressions or expectations, you remain flexible and can change if it suits you. This is the start of a grand opportunity, so put your feet up, sip on a drink and let your imagination go to work now that your body doesn't have to make that daily trip. Good luck and enjoy.
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  23. #23
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    SE Tn.
    Enjoy more dressing!!!

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Everybody, I do enjoy retirement. We are financialy set and have all our ducks in a row. I have found time to do projects that I have put off for years.The nice part is if you don't get it done today there is always tomorrow. Don't miss having to get out on those cold winter mornings. Hopefully more travel time is in our future. Thanks all for sharing

  25. #25
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    In the total animal soup of time
    When I was young, I did a lot of construction work in retirement communities. I noticed there were two kinds of retirees: those who lived for their work (and now their life was over,) and those whose work interfered with their life. The ones who lived for their work were usually dead within a year or two after retirement. I decided that I would never live for my work, that it would only be a means for survival and financing my hobbies.

    When I retired I thought I would have plenty of time for dressing up and perfecting my look. I did that for a while but it got to be pointless and boring. Just before I retired I bought a small farm so there is lots to do. What free time I have is spent on my other hobbies (playing my banjo or guitar, making cider and wine, going to concerts, etc.) I actually spend less time dressing than I did when I was working a "real" job. I think the reason I dress less now is that my dressing was at least partly stress related. I don't feel anywhere near the level of stress I did when I was working. I've been retired almost ten years now. If I was anymore relaxed I might slip into a coma.

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