I just get sick of all the commercials about ED, and calling sex a blasted performance, Love is more than a performance in bed.
I just get sick of all the commercials about ED, and calling sex a blasted performance, Love is more than a performance in bed.
I'm not going to opine on the medical aspect of this issue, just offer my own experience with the dressing aspect.
Over a period of many years my wife---who is generally very uncomfortable with my little hobby has allowed me to at first wear panties (only) in bed, then graduate to panties and thigh highs. Then about three years ago a breakthrough occurred: Thinking I had given up my hobby, she discovered my latest hidden stash and initiated a new rule: Because she didn't want our children to discover another stash, she said I could intermingle my things with hers in the closet. During this conversation I brought up the subject of bedroom attire, and the outcome was that she now allows me to wear a nightgown for our sexual relations (but not on other nights). She has gotten comfortable with this to the point that as she was packing our things for a vacation, she asked me if I wanted her to include a nightgown for me. I can't tell you how good that made me feel.
So, while my experience can't guarantee anything about yours, I just wanted you to know that it can be done.
Ladies I love you all!!!
Thank you for all your input. I definitely needed to vent on this topic. I feel like my performance is suffering and I just couldn’t put my finger on it and felt frustrated and embarrassed.
I need to get my groove back somehow. My libido is definitely smaller than it was just a year ago. I’ve been under tremendous stress this year and now I’m feeling the effects that aging has on a body.
Stress will do it every time....especially if it is internalized..
You are in your 30s so effects or aging hasn't hit you yet.LOL
You have recognized there is an issue now you need to figure it out.
Low libido is a good place to start from a medical standpoint.
Maybe something in your relationship has changed and maybe she is not as receptive to you as she used to be.
It could be so many things so who knows? I hope you get it figured out.
33 years old and aging? Wait until you hit 60! Actually I am turned 60 this summer and although the plumbing doesn't work as efficiently as it did when I was 30 (Ahem!) It works pretty darned well. Still wake up with the morning wood and still get a chub a few times a day, and when I want it to go full sail to go to "work" it does and as long as I need it too, with the "demands" of my wife and some "quiet time" alone it is a few times a week!
If you are failing at 33 you need to figure out why. It may not chub up when the wind changes direction like it did in high school, but it should be ready to go to work at a moments notice!
At 30 years old most likely the issue is in your head!
I'll be 67 on the 15th of this month and starting about 50 I realized some things I used to do were getting harder and recovering from those activities would take longer and longer.
Mid 30's I was kicking ass and taking names.
I can still do that thing or chub up as some call it and wood in the morning (such a cute term that makes me giggle) is pretty normal. LOLOL
Other than your bedroom stamina, what "aging" r u referring to, Kimmy?Originally Posted by CrossKimmy
I could do pretty much anything I ever could up into my middle 40's. When my back first starting acting up!
I'm changing my recommendation! Go see your doc ASAP! Stress, diet, and weight issues could be affecting your health!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I’m 68 and I’ll leave you with this littly trueism.
“Once a King, always a King.
Once a Knight ‘s enough.”
Not really on point, but should lighten the mood of all...gif "Big Roll Eyes")
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Be all the woman that you can be!
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. . . and now, On With The Show!
When I got engaged, I initially purged my entire wardrobe before we moved in together.. Massive mistake... the urges came back after a year or so of marriage and only got stronger and stronger...like you, my libido was starting to suffer as well... it’s not that I wasn’t attracted to her... far from it... I just felt like I needed something more!
I needed to get that feeling back like I had when I dressed!! I had never told her of my dressing and decided to covertly introduce it into the marriage. I took her on countless clothes shopping trips and worked my way into the lingerie store every time... I was able to slowly and gently convince my wife that shiny, satin underwear was something that I liked but that was also more comfortable. It took months and countless shopping trips, but eventually, I had a nice collection of shiny, satin men’s underwear. First hurdle crossed... Then, one day while we were shopping again and she was looking at panties, I causally made the comment that they were almost the same look and cut as the men’s underwear that we had gotten for me but was significantly cheaper. To my delight, she actually agreed and ended up buying me several more pair! As time went on, my panty collection grew and even got more femme and girly. String side Bikini briefs.. things, g strings, some with little satin bows... some in pink, baby blue, etc.., it actually got to the point where i was able to do it without any real worry of her getting upset! I distinctly remember one Saturday afternoon that I literally spent the entire day around the house wearing only a pair of shiny, silver metallic sparkle satin string bikini panties with pink hearts on them.. and she was fine with it! Getting to my point... when it was time to have sex, I typically tried to quickly strip my clothes off, but leave my panties on- I did this to achieve my dressing desire to wear satin panties while being intimate.. but with the facade that I was so turned on that I couldn’t be bothered with taking my panties off. And it actually worked most of the time. And my libido was back and better than ever... My femme wardrobe grew and I even had some shiny satin crop tops as they were sold with the panties as a package. I was actually even able to convince her to let me buy some shiny leggings and even a shiny catsuit because I could use them when I went snowboarding as a extra layer.. they were so much cheaper than the expensive long tights that they sold at the ski shop... I ended up having several pairs of shiny tights and bell bottom or flare leg leggings that were clearly for strippers or to wear to nightclubs, but I played it off that they were for snowboarding so it was okay! I had my marriage and satisfied m6 dressing urges and I was flying high!
But, like Icarus, I flew too high and then ended up crashing and burning... after months and months of the panty experiment going amazingly well, i thought it was okay to add a little more to my wardrobe,... I needed some heels. One day, I saw her looking at an online site for shoes and I pointed to a pair of thigh high platform boots and said “those are nice”.. she said she didn’t really like them. I coyly said “ oh, I meant for me”... and it was like all of the air left the room.. suddenly, it was like she became aware of everything all at once and it ended up turning into a very long and uncomfortable discussion where I ended up confessing that I had dressed before and the relationship was forever changed... and clearly not for the better as I’m now divorced.
My experience with the few women I’ve actually opened up to about my dressing has been ALL bad. Not one of them ever accepted it. In fact, I’m confident that they were all repulsed by it.
One on here will tell you to keep it a secret... some will tell you to tell her right away... some will tell her that you should’ve told her before to7 got married.., some will tell you to slowly break it to her.., etc..
Everyone has an opinion.., but you know her better than anyone else... and you know yourself better than anyone else.
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