Congrats, Sheffi!
Let us know how the "bra fittings" go?
Congrats, Sheffi!
Let us know how the "bra fittings" go?
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Why do I hear the music of impending doom in the background? (I think the theme song of "Darth Vadar" from Star Wars.)
How did you handle changing for your job interview? Was it at the local consignment shop or some other arrangement?
You have taken the job and stated all along that you'd be presenting as a woman. Therefore you now have an obligation to follow through with that your new employer.
Also, you have the obligation to be as professional as possible. That's what they will be paying you for. Dressing on the fly in a restroom isn't going to cut it.
I don't see any way of doing this except being a mature, professional adult by dressing at home and then proceed to your place of employment. If you can't do that then you should not take the job.
Congratulations on the new job.
I understand why you would want to proceed in this order. What do you think would have been the outcome if you had "The Talk, v.2.0" before applying for the job?Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi
If a female were to object to your doing a bra fitting, tell her you are an engineer and know a lot about stresses on materials.
I always wondered, for those who haven’t had electrolysis or laser, how do you have so many close shaves without destroying your face?
The job sounds fun but I max out at three close shaves in a row and then need time to let my face rest. Have you factored this in or is your skin immune to repeated attacks from steel blades?
Jenny I LOVE your witty comeback to an irate middle aged matron. Then again, she may just haul off and slug you for getting "fresh" with her.
Angela that is an excellent point. I would go almost 7 days enfemme at Southern Comfort which meant shaving twice a day. By the end my face was raw and I couldn't wait to go back to "boy" mode.
One has to ask themselves if this might not be a case of "pink fog" run amok?
Congratulations Steffi on landing the job.
And good luck handling the talk with your wife! Keeping my fingers crossed!
That is a valid point. I am an engineer and look at bras from an engineering standpoint.
My wife will agree that all of her favorite most comfortable and supportive bras are ones that I have chosen for her.
Words of caution: don't be offended or put off if women don't want you messing around with the bra area. It's not a game to them. They may request a female SA or simply leave and go to another place for a bra fitting. Not all woman are OR want to be open and accepting when it comes to their personal space.
Good luck with "The Talk".
Last edited by char GG; 09-09-2019 at 03:29 PM.
Ok , now for life in the real world. Something I know a lot about.
First , it's only a matter of time now till you will be out.
So you might as well start now.
At 35 if your daughter can't handle it, than there is no hope for her in this world.
Do not ever go in guy mode, not for any reason, no matter what.
You need to be consistent. Be in full makeup all the time.
You will need a full wardrobe at home.
Absolutely do not ever talk about sexual preference ( it would be ok to menchen a boyfriend, but not a girl), or your wife. They will assume that you want to be a woman, let them, do not correct them. It will make your life much easier.
If you think you are a guy in a dress , you are going to have problems. If you are, just keep it to yourself.
Women will accept you if they think you want to be one of them.
Be consistent, it is easier on everyone.
Good luck,
Good luck with your wife. I hope spending so much time dressed doesn't ruin the fun.
I am very jealous I would like to work for LB or such. At least part time.
Sara
Congratulations and good luck with the talk.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
You have had your bluff called now live up to your word.
So, I counted the results of all the posts: 22 positive, 9 negative, the rest neutral.
Since the vote is over 2 to 1 positive, I'm going to keep my positive attitude, and move forward.
I still haven't had "The Talk v2" with my wife. There were interruptions and unscheduled events all day long. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Some quick responses to the naysayers:
1. I have not accepted the job yet. The LB hiring manager was fine if I took a few days to decide.
2. I did dress at for the interview at the consignment shop
3. I will be very professional and will abide by the extensive dress code that changes season to season. Some shopping may be required.
4. As for shaving, I definitely know what you mean. I used to max out at 3 to 4 days, but my beard is lighter, so I think I can make it.
5. As for bra fitting, I'll gladly pass on any customer who is uncomfortable to a GG SA. It's not about me, but it's about the customer experience.
6. If my wife is dead set against it, I'll abide by her wishes. There's no way to pull this off without her consent, even if it's grudging consent.
BTW, I don't think there's hardly anything sold in LB that I can wear. Sizes start at 14W. I'm 12 to 14 missies on the top, and 10 to 12 on the bottom. They might have some Cacique bras in 36C or 38 B/C.
I really, really want this, and hope that my wife will agree.
I will update tomorrow.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
OK then good luck. I just hope you didn't waste the LB manager's time.
I do think you should have confided in your wife first because now she will think you have gone behind her back on other things too.
You have to live with her not me so I have no dog in the fight so to speak.
Just sounds like you don't consider her input important.
Steffi, Good on keeping your positive attitude! That is what you need and we all need. I cannot wait to hear about how you do there. I’m also happy you ended up at LB rather then Dress Barn since the latter will be closing.
Crissy
Steffi, I think you may be reading polite niceness as support.
I also think you may be too far into this for politeness.
If you are this far into it without your wife's support, (not just consent), or the knowledge of the rest of your close family, I fear that things will go very badly very quickly.
It appears that you have folded the strangers in the LB business end and your family into your own fantasy without leaving room for reality. Do you really expect the backroom of a consignment shop to be available every time you want to get dressed? Do you expect that telling your wife and DD this late into the plan is going to go well when you do tell them?
In the shrinking business, we usually prefer for someone to come to these questions on their own over time. However, it sounds like you are moving too fast for that.
In the medical profession, most legitimate practitioners require a person to live full time as woman for a year before they will agree to a surgical procedure. This may not be surgery, but, I assure you without proper preparation it can be just as painful and dangerous.
Please slow down. Let this job go for now. Revel in the accomplishments you have already made. They are significant. Try to get your wife involved as an aid to you not just a consensual observer.
I know this is none of my business. But, I think you brought this to the forum to discuss it.
I also know you "really, really want this". I expect that you really want this to work as well. The chances of this fulfilling your desires will be significantly improved when you are better prepared to do this without the help of crutches like "consignment shops".
Good luck.
It's time to bite the bullet and just have the talk. It's a job, it's INCOME--plain and simple. Good luck.
Jon
Exactly this ! AND,there will be DAMAGES if you try doing this job and give up. LB is a big corporation and that manager that hired you will be toast as well as corporate making a policy or two about transgender people..And there are some somewhere that need work in a store like this. Them hiring an occasional crossdresser isn't smart.
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
Steffi,
Part of me envies you , I think it's wonderful and brave of you to apply for the job, even better still you could well be offered it .
The other part of me is thinking you must be crazy , you needed to get your own TG issues sorted and then discuss them with your wife and daughter . I can't help feeling your daughter is getting her cake and eating it , whether she pays rent or not it is your home and you are out dressed so she needs to know the full picture and decide if she can or can't live with it , if she can't then she can always move out .
Not having sensible dressing arrangements and non approval from your wife possibly isn't fair on LB as a company . Working full time dressed isn't going to be a bed of roses , can you actually maintain that day in day out ? The bra fitting problem could be part of a string of problems from both customers and other employees , I do feel you should have lived full time comfortably for a while before attempting this .
I'm sorry but I'm lazy tonight.
I haven't read all the comments but I'm missing something in this story.
I know I haven't been in this web for a while or not too often how I used to do last year it I don't understand, what job, what conversation....can someone enlight me?
HRT 042018; Full time 032019
Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
Breast augmentation surgery 012022
GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION
The Reader's Digest version is that I applied for and was offered a job as a sales associate at Lane Bryant part time. I have not yet accepted the job, nor "asked my wife for permission" to accept it.
There must be over 50 posts on this topic in 3 or 4 threads. If you're interested in the backstory, go to my profile and search for started posts. Thanks.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Bottom line is that only you know all that has been discussed, what the relationships are and agreements.
There is SO much information that only you have and so only can know what to do.
We're just here to cheer you on. As I see it this is a huge step for the crossdresser community as well as the real world.
I say good for you!! Thank you for being strong in your pioneering!
Working as a sales associate is plausible, but not the bra fitting. The moment you are alone with a female customer in a fitting room you would be in a mine field. One word from her about anything inappropriate (true or not) could get you fired, arrested or worse. You and LB could face a lawsuit.
The only safe way would be to have a female accompany you at all times in the fitting room. But then you would be redundant. So what would be the point?
Vee Lane Bryant does their bra fitting over your clothes and rn the floor.
They even advertise the "right over your clothes" part.
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