Yes, yes, yes.

[suzanne]

"The talk"?
"If I'm allowed to...."?

I sincerely hope it goes well for you, but it sounds to me like your in for a bumpy time. Best of luck.

[Allisa]

Steffi, I think it took a lot of intestinal fortitude to apply for a position as a woman or even a trans woman. I don't think you have totally thought this thing out. Regardless of the other factors you know that you would have to live as a woman full time, there just is no spare time to be the other, the upkeep is 24/7. I know because I live 24/7 as a woman and sometimes I get tired and lazy and it's one step forward, three steps back, I don't know how women do it.

[mykell]

to quote myself....

ok not wanting to be a wet blanket devils advocate perhaps, ive been rooting for you but, i think you would have had a better shot keeping the position if you had consulted your wife at the inception of this quest, when you came out to her did you promise "no more lies or deceptions", most of those stories seem to have that common denominator.

i had started with a DADT position when i came out in the beginning but did not want to assume all was good because she did not want to know....so i had hard conversations and were at a pretty good place right now, i go to social outings, support groups and even have my own volunteer gig at a LGBT club. you do not give that impression of your relationship so im worried for you.

SO im not judging and hope it works out for you but what is the end game....if after all this you get the job and cant take it because of the Mrs. concerns it would certainly suck for you. but im thinking that it would suck for the next CD or trans person that applies to that type of position. the person has a bad taste from the experience will most likely pick a non CD/trans person the next time, again not judging but some important details are missing.

[soyangela]

Steffi,
CONGRATULATIONS on the job! Good luck with your SO. I'd be interested to know how your talk goes. It would help me get prepared for my own talk... in the future.
Angela

[Caryn Lynn]

Steffi, Cogratulations on the job offer!
I have been to the Sterling LB several times and always have had very friendly SA's help me there. The fist time I had stopped there I was actually shopping at the Dressbarn near there and had a SA refuse to let me try anything on (I'M sure she didnt last long there). That was the only time I had a negative experience at a Dressbarn. Walked out of there went over to the LB and it was such a plesant experience.

[JenniferMBlack]

It's hard to be up beat about this. I am sure we are missing something some where but from what I have read it doesn't look good. I do hope for the best for you. I will tell you there is an up hill battle in front of you if your wife says yes. It's a lot of work to keep a boy looking like a girl. I am only starting the third week and wondering what I have got myself into, and I have no obligation to continue. I hope if you don't take the job or don't make it you won't do harm for others. Best of luck to you.

[SaraLin]

Steffi,

Congratulations on the job offer. It sounds like it would be a dream job - not only to you, but many of us in here. BUT - Don't let the dream overwhelm your common sense.

I hope I'm wrong here - but if you take the job, I'm afraid that I don't see it ending well for you. Or maybe I should say for your marriage.

How do you honestly think your wife will react when she learns that you've been sneaking around behind her back - applying for and getting a job DRESSED AS A WOMAN - AND WORKING IN A DRESS STORE??!!

Do you think she might feel betrayed? Lied to? Angry?
Might she wonder if you're thinking of starting a new life AS STEFFI and leaving her behind?
Might this be "the last straw" that pushes her out the door? Are you ready for that?

Or - do you think you can hide the dressing part from her? If so, what if she decides to "drop in" to visit you at work one day?

You're dancing in a mine field you've laid for yourself.
Good luck. I'm afraid you're going to need it.

(the preceding commentary was produced and edited by a natural born pessimist... me)

[Kandi Robbins]

Congrats! Logistics will be challenging, best of luck!!

[Allison Chaynes]

Congrats! A few points, from my own experience as a manager at Lane Bryant, who worked in drab:

1. I was told that I would never have to do bra fittings unless both the customer and I were ok. Otherwise, have a female SA do it.

2. The LB in Southaven, MIssissippi had a MIAD working there, so don't stress out about passing. I never saw that she had any issues with customers. Last time I was there, the store mgr was a male. It's been a couple years.

3. You will be expected by customers to be knowledgeable about products, and understanding different bra types and fit. Understand that bras are their moneymakers. Everything else is just add on, for the most part.