I recently penned a post about my upcoming week away and some of the planning that?s going in to it. This prompted me to think about what advice I?d give to a forum member considering going out for their first foray into the big wide world enfemme based on what experiences I?ve had. So here goes.
Have a plan. This may seem obvious but it?s too easy to just head out and end up winging and prayering it. Even if it?s just going out for a drive, decide where you?re going especially if you?re heading for somewhere away from where you?re known. Look on Google maps and street view. Being able to recognise the place you?re at can be a great comfort. Also stops you heading into an area that?s more than a bit unsavoury.
Don?t forget the obvious. Even if you think you might be brave, make sure you?ve enough fuel in the car. On an early week?s trip away I set off from home dressed in a hire car that I realised after I?d set off only had a quarter of a tank at best of fuel. That was the first time I had to stop and buy fuel. Thankfully I?d found a self-serve petrol station so didn?t have to face an SA for the first time. Still scary though and not what many would like to be faced with first time out.
Don?t, really I mean it, don?t have a glass of Dutch courage before setting off. Anything that clouds your judgement even slightly is to be avoided. Drink increases the chance of you making a bad decision. Doing something a sober head would yell no to. If by some bad luck you get stopped by the law, the smell of alcohol is enough to start you down a longer interaction than would otherwise take place. Read the forum, cops will deal with you professionally. Being dressed isn?t a crime. Drink driving is. I got stopped several times in the early days? of my night time drives. I was badly dressed in the SO?s cast offs. Stuff didn?t fit, fashion faux pas central. Not a chance of remotely passing. Nothing bad happened. I was sober, a quick check of details and on my way.
So, moving on, your one of those who?s done the driving thing and now want to progress to mixing with Jo public. There seem to be two biggies, going shopping and going to a pub/club/bar. Let?s deal with the second one first.
Do your research; look online to see if the place has a web site. Again look at Google street view to get a feel for the venue and it?s surroundings if it?s somewhere you?re not that familiar with. A pre visit in drab, even if it?s just a quick nose in the door to get a feel for the place can give you the confidence that you?re not walking into somewhere angels fear to tread. The first time I went to Manchester to meet other CD'ers I?d looked at street view. I knew where the car parks were, what route I?d take to get to the venue. I even knew what the parking fees were. So as I said earlier, when I arrived I recognised the roads, I wasn?t a complete stranger wondering around not sure of where to go. This is a huge comfort. You?ll be nervous and anything you can do to reduce the stress will go a long way to making your time much more enjoyable.
In a pub/club/bar, always trust your senses. If it feels wrong then it is, time to leave. You can?t reason with some who?s stupid drunk.
Shopping; going out in the day, mixing in with the crowds is so much easier and safer that your head will tell you it is. People generally haven?t been drinking the silly juice and that?s a big positive.
Again, have a plan in your head. Know what you want to achieve. ?I?m going to park there, it?s a short walk to the entrance?. I won?t dwell on the dress to blend bit but it is surprisingly easy to hide in plain sight if you dress and act like everyone else. Try it, you?ll soon realise it?s true.
I?ve written about my first shopping experience many times. Parked, sat there feeling very nervous. After a few minutes, deep breath, out the car, go for it. Walk into shop????no-one noticed me. Last year when I went to buy my first wig in person even though I?d spent many many hours out and about by then I knew what the shop front looked like, where the nearest, and next nearest, parking was. Again I wasn?t bumbling around like a stray tourist. I knew where to go and with that comes the confidence. Having this knowledge helps keep things calm, me being in control of the situation.
So yes I suppose after all that my advice is; plan. Remember, ?PPPPP?, Proper Planning Prevents Poor Presentation.
