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Thread: How easy are you to recognize when dressing?

  1. #1
    Member Suzi Q's Avatar
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    How easy are you to recognize when dressing?

    I have an agreement with my wife that I won't dress at home and leave. About seven years ago I was seen by a former neighbor and she called and left a message on our answering machine "Why is ----- wearing a wig and a skirt? My truck was parked about 3 feet from the garage door and the only way anyone could see me was through a 3' gap between the the house and the porch and bushes. She was standing in her driveway across the street, outside her car, talking on her phone, facing down that gap towards our house! I was in a hurry to leave the house before my wife and her sister returned home from shopping and hadn't put any makeup on yet.

    Now I put EVERYTHING I plan to use in the van and go to a park to dress and apply makeup. Then I go to a salon and have them do my nails.

    On several occasions I have been to car shows and been within 5 feet of a friend and former employee that worked for me for over 20 years and his wife and they never recognized me. I have also passed by another former employee several times at car shows and he never showed any signs of recognition. I have spoken to them in drab at other shows after that and they never mentioned seeing me when we stopped and talked.

    I believe once you are out of your normal environment people don't make a connection unless you are in a highly recognizable vehicle or are with someone that you associate with a lot (such as your spouse).

    Do you think you would be recognized by someone once you were dressed and away from home?

    Suzi Q

  2. #2
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    That former neighbor must have been the neighborhood busy body.
    I had my daughter and her husband walk right by me in a clothing store as I was trying on shoes.
    Her husband looked right at me and it never registered to him.
    I agree people just don't make the connection most of the time.
    Its not like you expect Rocco the 1%er outlaw biker to be wearing a wig and make up so if you saw it you wouldn't even think it was Rocco if you saw him as a her
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

  3. #3
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    Well I don't wear a wig so I don't look that different when dressed. I look like myself in makeup and a dress.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    I could not hide in a forest of manikins. I am so recognizable as me. Those who know me would spot me like a red tennis ball in a box of yellow tennis balls. and to confirm it, if I spoke a single utterance they would know without even turning around to see me.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    A Southern Belle.

    "For a lump of coal to become a diamond, it takes a lot of pressure, heat, and time."
    "The question is, can I, as a lump of poor coal, survive that heat, pressure, and time."

  5. #5
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Being somewhere you don’t normally interact with a person helps. I’ve been introduced to someone face to face while dressed, then a few days later was introduced in drab, and the person didn’t put 2 and 2 together until told. I’ve also run into the DJ from the local club while out shopping. He’s never seen me NOT dressed, but he recognized me right away. To be fair, I was with other people he knows me to associate with and are easier to recognize.

    I say this a lot on these forums. Just because nobody says anything doesn’t mean that they didn’t clock you. Some people are just too polite to say anything to your face.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Heck, I have run into people i know out of the usual places we met and never recognized them. Just wearing casual clothing can throw people off, instead of what you normally see them in like a suit and tie, or some work uniform . I can understand how it happens if you are wearing a dress, wig and makeup. But sure, stand in your driveway in plain view of you neighbor and I wouldn't be surprised it they recognize you.

  7. #7
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    If you are fully dressed,made up etc and passable then maybe you won?t be recognised. However your car might be a giveaway. I drive from home in my own car and have never had a problem. Life?s too short to worry.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member
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    I think part of it comes down to expectations of the person seeing you. If they are looking for you then they are more likely to recognize you. If they arent expecting to see you particularly dressed then they might not put it together. I say this because poeple I know who have been looking for me dressed have known it was me both ways and I have seen others not looking for me who didn't realize it was me.

  9. #9
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    Fortunately, I have one of those faces that even a little bit of makeup renders me totally unrecognizable----That's why I am into experimenting with so many disguises---male and female. I could be another Lon Chaney, If I wanted to get into acting. I do Halloween and some theatre on the side for more fun. I have no qualms about posting my photos here.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    I think it depends on the person, situation, ect.

    Back a few years ago I stopped at a local bar, I wasn't ready to go home yet. There was this small group playing pool. They were not very good . So I challenged and took control of the table, normal for me, but this is not my normal hang out. I had been at the local track with friends, so not at my best. The girls dragged me into the restroom and fixed my makeup. Two guys and three girls. Afterward we went to one of the guy's houses , and we all ended up in a hot tub.

    A year ago the company sent me to his house to do a repair. I has wondering if he would recognize me. He didn't.

    I was at my friend's salon, the girl in the other chair is done and leaving. I had been listening to her voice, I know that voice. It is my best friends sister from my school days. Their family was like a second family to me. I hadn't seen her in twenty years. After she walked out the door I asked my friend if that was _______. She said yes, I run out the door to catch her, I'm standing there, she did not recognize me until I told her my name. We make a point to get together at least once a month now. I have also reconnected with the rest of her family.

    I use to drive a truck with my name on the side. I got a call from the guy owned the machine shop next to my shop. He asked who the lady was driving my truck. I wasn't out at the time. I told him she was doing some work for me.

    I think I look the same but maybe not.

  11. #11
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Both my vehicles are old and highly recognizable, so another reason i stopped going out dressed in my area. And, i am six foot eleven in my heels! Its a small world often!
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  12. #12
    3dxchat User JuliaGirl's Avatar
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    Never having been out when dressed (or even seen by another person) I can only judge by what i see in the mirror, especially when I've been professionally made up. I'd say I would probably be recognizable if someone who knew me thought about it even to a small degree, but I'd be damn cute though!
    Julia xo

  13. #13
    Silver Member Marcia Blue's Avatar
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    I have been seen by a close family friend, at a very close distance and not recognized. The family friend even knew I would be at the event, dressed as a women.
    Marcia (LOVES) Blue

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member GracieRose's Avatar
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    Suzi,
    I suspect your location gave you away. I suspect that the same neighbor could have walked right past you, 5 miles away and not recognized you without another piece of data to associate with you, such as hearing your male voice, or seeing your wife next to you.
    -peace
    -Gracie

  15. #15
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    I could never pass as a woman if I dressed as feminine as I am able. The only hope that I have is that my neighbors never focus on any of the people passing by.

  16. #16
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    I went fully dressed to the local Lenscrafters once to pick up a new pair of glasses. A collaborator from a different department at the university who I usually worked with on a common project for a couple of days each year was in the store. She recognized me INSTANTLY and came over to talk. Fortunately, she was a very liberal type and my attire was of no concern to her or her husband. We exchanged a few words about work and her daughter who was an ex-student of mine, and that was that. We continued to work together for a couple of years after that until she moved away, and nothing was ever said again - but I think it made our relationship stronger.

    Although the outcome was fine in the end, that incident shattered any illusions I had of passing or being unrecognizable while in femme mode. Nowadays I'm more likely to wear a wig (at that time I was still trying to get by with my natural hair), which would probably make me just a little more difficult to pick out (but I'm not counting on it).

    - Diane
    Last edited by Diane Smith; 09-19-2019 at 10:03 PM.

  17. #17
    Member Victoria_Winters's Avatar
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    Ok. I think I?m not super recognizable because I normally wear glass and NEVER take them off publicly. When I dress up I don?t wear them and instead wear contacts. This is pretty much solely for me as no one ever sees me dressed as I generally NEVER leave the house with the exception of the last two days and I don?t think realized that I was wearing a woman?s blouse.

    If you ever seen someone that wears glasses all the time without glasses it makes it harder to recognize them. It?s like a part of their face is missing. Coupled with the fact I keep my hair super short..... when I wear a wig I chose styles that frame my face and is a complete different color then my real hair and I color in my eye brows.

    I also pretty much wear black only and my women?s clothes are fairly colorful. With all that I don?t think people would recognize me but at the same time no way could I pass.

    When I was younger, I was really luck and had a super girly body. With makeup, the right wig, and choice clothes. I absolutely passed.... as long as I kept my mouth shut! I used to stream in online chats and only once was I ever called out as male back then. That?s because I accidentally showed my. Neck in profile close to the camera which did a fantastic job of showing off my ?Adams apple?. Now a days I?m learning to control my larynx position so I don?t have a hugely male resonance and hide the apple...

  18. #18
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    While not exactly on the topic being discussed but relating to recognition. Many years ago I was going to meet a friend somewhere. I boarded a street-car and found a seat. After several moments I noticed the fellow in front of me behaving strangely: twisting & turning and finally turned full-faced to me and said: "Aren't you going to say 'hi' at least?" It was my friend whom I was going to meet. I did not anticipate him to be there on the street-car so never noticed him. It was easy for him to spot me as I just entered in full view. It shows that we may be in close proximity to someone and not recognise him. Add to that the crossdressing variable and our chances of recognition diminish drastically.

    That incident stayed with me all these years as an enigma. I can see this happening if that person was just an acquaintance who just happened to be there, but this was a good friend I was going to meet. Our brain plays strange tricks sometimes.
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    I know for a fact ;(How easy are you to recognize when dressing?)

    I have sister who went to go out to a eatery. The waitress worked with me at another job. She put two and two together. I would look like my sister if I wore a wig.....shhhhh I do lol...
    I live in CT and love to meet like minded friends....

  20. #20
    Member annecwesley's Avatar
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    Since I had a beard (fr 43 years) until 9 months ago I don't think I would be readily recognized.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member
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    I have been introduced to a colleague when out as Susan. She would have realised she was talking to a man in a dress with boobs but did not recognise me. I was in different clothes, moved differently talked differently, had make up, wig and glasses (plain glass as I don't need glasses). My height was greater with heels. She was thus deprived of almost all my reference points and I got away with it. Some of my friends are very astute and would clock me in a couple of seconds, though.

  22. #22
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    I look somewhat like my sister when dressed, so someone who knows her may put two and two together. Otherwise, I don't think in general I'd be recognized by anyone else.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  23. #23
    Seamstress of Skirts Asew's Avatar
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    I have long hair and don't wear makeup, so my head doesn't change that much so pretty recognizable. But I don't care because this is me either way.

  24. #24
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    I have found myself in a couple of situations where I was certain that I would be recognized, yet it didn't happen. My acquaintances were none the wiser. It's correct that most people go about their day extremely self absorbed and, news flash, aren't thinking of you every moment as they walk amongst a crowd. That said, there are people who are unnaturally observant, nosey, curious or kinky. Any of these types have a radar for things that look a bit off, they will zero in on that detail and focus to the point where if they know you, game over. Solution? There are three. Either never go out in public, go out far from your home base, or go out knowing that it's eventually inevitable and be prepared to deal with the consequences.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member
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    Someone I know was out one evening and noticed a male colleague dressed as a woman and it was not unexpected as the guy had shown unusual interest in womenswear. He decided to confront him and it turned out he was mistaken. It really was the man's sister. I hope he felt an idiot - if he had not interfered he would not have had egg on his face.

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