If I May Be Of Service

[Ann Louise]

Hi Everyone,

I've been a member here for a long time, but it's been several years since I've posted. I think by many measures I have been very blessed in my life, foremost in that I've successfully survived physically (after many procedures, courses of drugs, and surgeries), and mentally (after many tragic losses of personal relationships) for the nearly seven years ago since I came out to my family and friends. I have expended many thousands of uninsured dollars to get here, too.

If I may be of service to anyone here with public forum questions, or PMs, please feel free to avail yourselves of the experience I have gained.

Love to you all,

Ann

[Laura912]

Your offer is quite generous. It might help many who are not familiar with your journey, if you provided a brief synopsis of what has occurred in the past years. For example, there is an implication that you are now transgendered but that is a inference on this reader’s part.

[Jeri Ann]

Hey Ann,

Welcome back.

There are several of us here who have emerged from the other end of the tunnel of transition and check in from time to time. There is a great deal of wisdom and experience still here.

I know you posted some of your experiences in the past. As Doctor Laura suggested, maybe you could recap some of that for new members.

[Ann Louise]

Hi Laura and Jeri, and all the others who may pass this thread's way,

I think the best synopsis of the professional setting of my transition can be imagined by reading the sticky on coming out letters, the second or third post down. I was thick in the personal and public struggle of RLE, all to be joyously capped off by a San Francisco vacation with Dr. Marcy Bowers. Well the "vacation" thankfully did occur, but in the leadup to my surgery date some of the mid-level management at my progressive, oh-so-liberal office (LGB folks, to boot), detecting great office-political weakness (another long story), came after me hammer and tongs on a trumped up administrative infraction seeking to get me fired - mere days before bottom surgery. My final weeks were an excruciating professional hell of struggle as the days ticked down.

On a more private note, amidst the joy of finally living my life free of maleness (and of course, the offending appendage), my two young adult children abandoned me, my ancient "family" of friends from the 70's turned out completely transphobic, and... many more tragic losses of emotional connection, many upon which I had, perhaps unknowingly, depended on supporting me and being there "forever," as I had been for many of them in the past, DIDN'T. Wrong again.

Big lesson: Expect Nothing

I must add though, amidst all this sadness, betrayal, and heartache, that I have never regretted one moment of my new life, my real life, after the decades of suffering, numbly faking my life as male. A true nightmare has ended.

On the note of medical procedures, I have had numerous cranial, facial, and neck modifications, and a breast augmentation, too. In my enthusiasm to reach the other end of the transition tunnel I perhaps should have spaced things out a bit more, as I must say it took me about three years to get to feeling all-around good again (yes, there ARE great orgasms!) but these many months coincided with my period of intense, sometimes bewildering orientation to all the facets of my new feminine reality, intense learning of an entirely new kind. Kind of makes one wonder if this "transition" will ever conclude. I don't think so.

So dear ones, know that we trans folks are courageous, beautiful beings, with the greatest toughness and endurance of any people I have met in my long life (I'm 65). I regard myself as a continuing survivor in this life and death struggle, and if I can help anyone here to make it through this gauntlet and thereafter, please don't hesitate to PM me. I'll leave the light on.

Ann

[JaytoJillian]

Thank you, Ann Louise. You are truly an inspiration to me.

Jill