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Thread: The Mostly False Perception that Crossdressers are Gay

  1. #51
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    Good point Jodie

  2. #52
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    Jodie,
    I'm sorry but I still don't agree , modern thinking has moved on , at least in the UK they don't associate one with the other , eventhough we come under the LGBTQ banner . More to the point are some of the comments others have made where some guys might be hoping to get some action with a trans girl but then some guys just can't help falling for anything in a skirt !

  3. #53
    Aspiring Member Lacy PJs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ressie View Post
    ...So how many crossdressers out there say they're straight but have either engaged in homosexual activity - or at least fantasized about it?
    Equating fantasy with reality just doesn't work... at all. We have all fantasized about something that couldn't be possible or at least extremely unlikely in our lives. I've fantasized about piloting an F-18 but that doesn't even remotely make me a pilot. I've fantasized about being a star football player in the NFL but have never played a down in an organized/sanctioned game in my life. I'd bet the farm that there isn't a person on this board who hasn't fantasized about doing something that they would NEVER do in real life. So the two are totally separate.

    Lacy PJs

  4. #54
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Jodie,
    I'm sorry but I still don't agree , modern thinking has moved on , at least in the UK they don't associate one with the other , eventhough we come under the LGBTQ banner . More to the point are some of the comments others have made where some guys might be hoping to get some action with a trans girl but then some guys just can't help falling for anything in a skirt !
    Teresa, you don't agree with what, exactly? That the uninformed associate crossdressing with homosexuality?

    Perhaps the UK is more enlightened than the US ( hell, I know it is! ), I've mentioned in other threads that I work in a place where they have little understanding, or tolerance for anything that isn't 'pure vanilla', and I hear the vicious comments that are made anytime there is a LGBT+ issue mentioned on the radio or an article in the newspaper.

    They don't know about Jodie, and if they did, I'd be out of a job.

    So even though your experience may be different, please do not disregard or devalue my experiences.

    There is still rampant homophobia in the US, and all the "Political Correctness" movement did was to make go undercover.

    The people at my job? They feel safe in expressing their true feelings because "we're all normal, right thinking folk" with none of those weirdos around.
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  5. #55
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    Jodi is right, none of the "old way of thinking" has gone away in America. It just had been subdued for a period of time.

    I am pretty lucky, I live in a small Liberal town in the Pacific Northwest. So I feel safe walking into any business or any part of town regardless of how I am dressed.

    But I don't fool myself into believing that this bubble I live in covers the whole world. Because I didn't have to go very far outside of town to not feel safe.

  6. #56
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    It is very odd that crossdressing and homosexuality are still confused when you think about it. Heterosexual crossdressing, particularly in the fetishistic sense, has been a well documented phenomenon since at least the Victorian era (the idea of a man being forced to wear corsets and petticoats by his GG SO is not a new idea, and such hetero crossdresser erotica was published even back then.) Sexologists were aware of heterosexual crossdressing, and wrote about it in professional journals of the day (and have since.) Talk shows in the 1980s often discussed heterosexual crossdressing. Somehow it didn't quite trickle down to the average person... but at least some people out there know the difference. Over the years, I have told a number of people about my dressing and some of them knew the difference.

  7. #57
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    As long as you are not in some way very closely
    connected to the other person
    , who cares , I think most are way past caring
    If a person is gay , or wears pnnties or whatever

    JAS

  8. #58
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lacy PJs View Post
    Equating fantasy with reality just doesn't work... at all. We have all fantasized about something that couldn't be possible or at least extremely unlikely in our lives... the two are totally separate.

    Lacy PJs
    Good point but not always. Having a the same fantasy repeatedly usually leads to wanting to experience it in the real world. Dreams become goals to achieve whether it's an occupation or a sexual act. Furthermore, if one fantasizes about homosexual encounters without acting on them that person still isn't exactly totally straight. There will always be that inner conflict.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  9. #59
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    I just don?t think in today?s day and age, that it matters

  10. #60
    Aspiring Member Lacy PJs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SFrances View Post
    I just don?t think in today?s day and age, that it matters
    But it does... there are certain things I'd like to wear in public if it didn't matter to others... but it does... so I won't...

    As many have mentioned previously, in many circles, crossdressing and and hence the assumption of being gay does affect ones social status, professional career and a host of other important things in life. Funny but as I lay awake in bed this AM, I thought to myself, "If I could, I'd feel comfortable going out to the kitchen then making & eating breakfast with my better half while wearing my baby doll pajamas." But since I don't want to run around the house with the shades all drawn, I got up and got dressed in my usual male attire. Why? Because where I live, it still DOES matter to some people in my circle of acquaintances.

    Anyway... the reason I made the original post here was to open the discussion of what it might be like for us if we could wear what we wanted to wear all of the time without that prejudice of being considered a homosexual. Opinions have ranged far and wide with some being on topic while others have drifted a bit but it has been very interesting to read all of the responses and I hope there are several more before this one winds down.

    Lacy PJs

  11. #61
    Aspiring Member StevieTV's Avatar
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    I consider myself an effeminate gay. Yes, I dress as an androgynous person and I am happy being called a woman in public. When check out clerks mention about my items I just tell them they are for me as they fit better. I have no concerns what they think. If it supports the notion that gays are crossdressers than I plead guilty. I'm an effeminate gay, so I do as I do.

  12. #62
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Good point Jodie
    Thanks!
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  13. #63
    Just do it already! DaisyLawrence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jodie_Lynn View Post
    So sad if this distracts from the current "My favorite panty" thread, but this is a valid and appropriate subject regarding how the non-CD/TG world see the community.
    True that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jodie_Lynn View Post
    Straight. Gay. Bisexual. Pansexual. Asexual. Non-binary, genderfluid, genderqueer. White. Black. Yellow. Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Atheist.


    These are all just convenient labels that people can stick onto other people, so that they can classify them in their head.

    The labels allow people to put others into a preconceived, presupposed category so that they don't have to think about that person as a person.

    Oh, he's gay? That means he... ( insert perceptions about gays here )

    Oh, she's black? That means... ( insert perceptions about blacks here )

    Most people have perceptions about other groups, not based on real life experience, but rather on what they have been told, or taught to think about those groups.

    Even within this thread, I see sweeping generalizations about groups, when everyone here should realize that no two members of this forum share the exact same path, motivations, drives, or experiences. Yes, we have lots of similarities, but overall, we are all clumped under the CD/TG umbrella.

    So it is highly amusing to see some of the members here exhibit the same sort of myopic stereotyping of other groups.
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    Last edited by char GG; 09-29-2019 at 08:58 AM. Reason: Not going there

  14. #64
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    Although I believed I was hetero when I first began cross-dressing, it wasn't until within the last ten years that I accepted my bisexuality. I no longer dress because I make a better man than a woman (I lift weights '). So, for me, it took longer to accept my bisexualiy than it did to accept that I was a cross-dresser. But, i'm all the better for riding out the journey. I'm now attracted to submissive men who cross-dress to attract men like me. They could be gay, bisexual, gender fluid, etc.
    Last edited by char GG; 09-29-2019 at 05:04 PM. Reason: TMI - Also, this is a CD site, not a hook up site

  15. #65
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I went to a Carly Rae Jepsen pop concert at the Big E and there seemed to be just as many same sex couples as male/female couples. The Big E is the largest agricultural event on the East Coast.
    It was an hour long dance party! I think they opened up the showers for anyone who needed to do that after the show.
    Last edited by Maid_Marion; 09-29-2019 at 11:09 AM.

  16. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    The human species survives fundamentally because of sex. We may not talk about it a lot in our day-to-day lives and some pockets of our societies are downright puritanical. Of course as we age it becomes less important, but still sex is at the core of who we are. It has to be. And it drives the beauty and fashion industry. Why do you think that women want to look pretty and men want to look virile. Why do they use all those gorgeous female or virile male models to sell us all kinds of stuff.

    And so when a man puts on the things that women put on in order to attract men, the assumption is that he wants what she wants - men. Women don't put that stuff on when they're just hanging out together.

    Quick story: a friend transitioned about 7 years ago. She takes hormones but I don't know if she has had SRS. She recently posted a pic on facebook about her weekend getaway at a remote cabin (in the woods by a lake) with 6-7 GGs. Everyone was in grubby T-shirts, jeans, no makeup, etc. My friend was the only one all made up, with jewelry, a plunging neckline showing her cleavage, and shorts. Why. All the comments (there were lots from all the tagged GG's friends) had to do with what fun they must all be having, except my friend's 2 male friends. They commented on her appearance. The GGs in the pic and those commenting didn't give two hoots about makeup and cleavage, out in the middle of nowhere with no males around. lol. Why did my friend feel she needed to look sexually appealing. I don't get it, honestly.

    Do you see why many people think that CDs/TGs/TSs are attracted to men? That said, I should hope that most people aren't as prejudiced against gay men as 30-40 years ago. But even if they think homosexuality is no big deal, they may still think that it is the fundamental motive for a birth-male who presents as a female.
    Just an observation - I find it a little peculiar that so many people on this forum vehemently deny being gay and re-enforce they are straight over and over. Perhaps some of that is because of misconceptions from uneducated people. But there is probably more going on lol.

    I'm very attracted to men, especially when in Maya mode and fantasize about men sexually a lot.

  17. #67
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    Maya,
    Why do you have to question it , I have no misconceptions and I'm educated enough to know my sexual preferences , some of my TG friends are BI , very few appear to be outwardly gay , we do have some interesting conversations and a little arm twisting goes on but I know the score and so do they . If you're not wired that way nothing is going to change it !

  18. #68
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaisyLawrence View Post
    True that.

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    Welcome to crossdressers.com!
    Thanks! I saw your original, and it was spot on!

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    Quote Originally Posted by TerryWa View Post
    Although I believed I was hetero when I first began cross-dressing, it wasn't until within the last ten years that I accepted my bisexuality. I no longer dress because I make a better man than a woman (I lift weights and prefer to 'top'). So, for me, it took longer to accept my bisexualiy than it did to accept that I was a cross-dresser. But, i'm all the better for riding out the journey. I'm now attracted to submissive men who cross-dress to attract men like me. They could be gay, bisexual, gender fluid, etc.
    Not to hammer the point, but do you identify as gay? Or do you consider yourself straight, with the effeminate crossdressers being the 'gay' ones?

    I am asking, because I know a man who identifies as "straight", even though he has no problem topping another man ( crossdressed or not ). His opinion being that, as long as he is "throwing" and not "catching", he is the hetero guy.
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  19. #69
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    I am closing this thread. It is going in a direction that was not intended by the OP.

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