Worked for me .. on a Sunday, when nicely dressed, go to the parking area of a large office complex. It will be virtually empty. Take your phone and exit the car and walk around a bit with it. Then, go to a fast food drive thru. You may be clocked, but you'll also be driving away. You will be thrilled at the experience, and it will help you to begin to "own it." You'll grow from there on. Being out is so much fun. I'm having lunch with a sister next Sunday. in full girly mode.
I do agree with you to some extent. I see from your bio that you're 80-ish. Not too much to worry about if the trip does not work out. Like me, a retiree, I don't have to worry about negative fallout if coworkers were to find out. Everyone seems to say, "Just do it" because nobody cares, but, "they do!" My daughter worked the drive through window at a local fast food restaurant. You never know.
Anyway, for those who want to expand their horizons what I did and still do when I get the 'pink fog' is to create mini trips. I return library books to the various night time book drops. I mail letters. I retrieve those free newspapers from the ubiquitous boxes all over town. I take strolls in a safe residential neighborhood on the other side of my small city. When I take an evening stroll I wear comfortable low heel shoes with a solid heel or a wedge. When I stroll in my favorite neighborhood which has several supermarkets I carry a tote which makes it appear I have a purpose other than just strolling. I only wear dress, no pants, so I make sure the length of my dress is knee length and not so short as to draw attention. My area is noted for rain, rain and more rain for several months over the fall and winter. Using an umbrella is great for providing some cover if a person is approaching me from the front. The umbrella works well to shield my masculine face and obscure some inches off my six foot height.
I also keep off freeways. The distances between exits may have a chilling effect on your adventure if you have a breakdown. I always carry a change of male clothing in the event I were to have a breakdown. As to the car, I always make sure my gas tank is full. I always check to make sure my headlights, brake lights and signal lights are working correctly. I do that anyway, but, as in the past I have had officers stop me for a brake light being out. And, I would recommend not having the smell of alcohol on your breath. It's one thing to get a ticket for a brake light being out, but, it's another thing to be walking a straightline in the middle of the road for a field sobriety test.
"Own it" with little baby steps within your comfort zone.
+1 for the response Stephanie47 provided. Stay safe!
Jenny,
Apart from my social outings in hotels I hadn't really mixed too much with the public . After my separation almost two years ago I moved to my new home intent on starting as I meant to go on . My first day I did supermarket ,car parts , DIY store my new GPs surgery , by the end of the week I had told all my neighbours the situation . Regrets ? NONE !! Nothing is off limits now , why should there be ?
I guess there are two ways to do it; baby steps or all in.
I'm from New England (Boston, in particular). We have a very short summer: June, July and August. We always wanted to go to as early in the summer as possible, but even in mid-June, the water was quite cold.
One way to go into the water was step by step. Get you toes wet, go in up to your ankle, mid-calf, knee, and then mid thigh. Then you jump into the water for a quick swim.
The other way was "all in". Stand back from the shore, then take a running start to the shore, keep running until you get past your knees and just jump in for a quick swim.
My first time out, I went to the Maryland Renaissance Festival on a warm, sunny summer day. I rented a "wench" costume. Think St Pauli girl. There must have been over 10,000 people at the fair, including a couple like me. Except for one drunk guy, I had no problem at all, and his friends pulled him away quickly.
Just saying ...
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
I remember those first steps. Hope you continue to make progress. Who knows how far you can go? I never would have thought I could have reached the stage where I can mix in mainstream society and just do the normal things women do.
I don't know that I'd call activities where no one sees you "out in public", but it's a start. That is if you are wanting genuine interaction as a goal. Lots of CD's have no desire for more. For many,, that threat of being discovered is the juice. As a recovering adrenaline junkie, (few are tha thrill ports I have not at least tried), I can respect that, but that too is not exactly out.
I did the "baby steps" method.
Started by staying in hotels.
Dress in my room, go nowhere.
After a while, go out for ice or drink from a machine and walk the hallways. Maybe ride the elevator a few floors and hope no surprise when the doors open. One time, the door opened and I was confronted by a group of airline pilots/flight attendants getting on. I just smiled and waited for my stop (it was an eternity). Another time, I got to my floor and there was a very large tour group waiting to get on as I exited. Never did catch the reaction.
Go outside and walk around the parking lot.
Go outside and get in car and go for a ride. Maybe stop at a fast food drive through.
Walk around an ATM or post office.
Actually go into the fast food place and order.
Go to a stand alone store and buy things.
Go to the mall. Walk around. Later, go to and browse and try on clothes.
Stop at the self serve gas station and fuel up.
Each step will confirm that the world will not end!
Everyone's different. So it mite be expected that every T should come out at her own speed.
And then, there's us CD's. Some of which can't come out. And, some of us don't care to!
I'm perfectly happy to attend T friendly events with many other T's who do the same!
U can keep your dressing to vanilla venues. I don't have the time or energy, and don't need the stress!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Sherry , you are right everyone is different.
There is a huge difference between a CD and a T/someone that wants to live their life as a woman.
How can you tell which one you are? I don't have the answer.
What stress?
I took my roommate to a local town fair,CVS, dinner, danish bakery for desert and than home. No stress, just a nice day.
In the middle of the fair a vender remembered me from a county fair over a year ago. It seem I can't go anywhere with out someone knowing me.
I had lost a nail unloading my roommates scooter. I found it when I was putting it back in the trunk, it comes apart. I didn't have any glue, so I stopped at CVS.
Outside the bakery we stopped before entering for my roommate to rest on a bench in front of the shop. She can walk short distances. I'm standing next to her, the wind has picked up. I'm wearing a dress with an above the knee skirt. I have a Marilyn Monroe moment, a gust of wind blows up my skirt, I put both hands down in front just in time to catch it.
For a CD this would be an adventure, for me it is just life.
Still the skirt thing we did think was funny.
Thanks for the replies, ladies. My OP was just to give some ideas to those who wish just to go out for the first time and gain a little confidence that they can do it. Many added their thoughts, which is great. FWIW, I'm now go out en femme any time I want to without fear or concern about doing so. This Sunday I'm going to meet a TS friend for breakfast, and I'm really looking forward to it.
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