Feedback from hetro, non transitioning mtf CD... pls

[So Newbie]

I'm looking for feedback from the hetro, non transitioning mtf crossdressers. (I hate to be specific in asking who the responses come from...)
Does just lounging around in yoga leggings and a razor back top, maybe forms, maybe just the sports bra, work for you?
Do you like to wear a skirt/blouse and heels and just hang out at the house?
Or do you need to do the full dress, wig, makeup, forms, etc...
I know that people are all different and we need different things, but this is me reaching out and just trying to educate myself and learn from others. I know that by hearing from others this will not make my SO's dressing 'normal or abnormal' but more of what do others do. (I hope that makes sense, lol)
Thank you!

[Paulie Birmingham]

I dont have a wig and only just recently bought a dress. I've put on lipstick a few times. No desire for wig and more makeup. No desire for forms. She found my bra and didnt care for that though I do own a new one I've worn a few times. I just bought heels again and do plan to wear them more when I'm alone. I love panties pantyhose camis mostly. Wife has bought me leggings and womens Jean's which I wear around her.

[Micki_Finn]

I’m a little confused as to why you are only interested in hearing from hetero members? I get that trans is kind of a different creature than CDers, but what do you think is different about gay and bi crossdressers?

[Dannigirl]

Hi there,

Well it depends on the mood really and how much time I have what my wife and I are going to be doing and most of all how lazy I'm feeling. Sometimes I just throw my leggings on and a nice cotton cami if it is warm, or a nice light sweater if it is cooler, bra most of the time, forms some of the time, wig= never unless I'm going out somewhere, it is too hot for me and I am a very hot bodied person. For me to do makeup I have to go all the way, can't just do eyes and lips, have to do the full shave, foundation, concealer and the whole routine, eyelashes etc ... But once again that is only if I am going out somewhere. My wife doesn't mind what I wear or do, it doesn't bother her in the least, but I have a bit of a hang-up dressing in front of her for some reason, still haven't figured that out, maybe it is because I am embarrassed to act girly in front of her, not sure. But I am getting better at it, slowly but surely. Anyway, I am getting away from your question....... Good luck on trying to understand what most of us don't understand ourselves

[Samm]

I don't consider myself "just a cd'r", or transgender for that matter. But somewhere in the middle... or both. But For me, just "throwing something on" doesn't quite do it for me these last few years. I seem to need all or nothing, or it just doesn't feel right. Also, I prefer not to see myself half and half if that makes any sense. I prefer my wife not see me that way either. Although I deal with it ok.
I will however, sleep with forms and a fitted tee on occasion.

[NancyJ]

I fit all of your criteria although I consider myself transgender — not “just” a crossdresser. I fairly rarely fully dress with full makeup, wig, etc. I do love just wearing a blouse and forms, maybe clip on ear rings, while I’m working on my computer. I don’t need to fully dress to feel feminine. Nancy

[Allison Chaynes]

I've only gone "all out" once and don't feel like I need to, personally. Perfectly fine with wearing a dress, jeans, whatever, even in dude mode.

[KiraK]

I really enjoy just lounging around in yoga pants and top, or a cami and some shorts. Other times I like to work at my desk in a dress. It really depends on my mood. I rarely wear my wig (especially since I need to learn how to style nicely; it came out of the box ok, but it needs fine tuning that I don't know how to do yet). I have yet to learn how to do makeup other than lipstick, so that's a rarity, and I've only just started painting my nails (which I still kind of suck at, btw), so those are something I learn later as well. I just really dress to ease the "pink fog" as everyone calls it. I let my mood dictate what I'll be wearing. Since I'm in a DADT relationship, pretty much whatever I wear needs to be able to be removed pretty quickly and not leave any hint that it was there.

[Wesley]

Hello. I am a heterosexual Male who likes to dress in women's clothing. No makeup no wigs. I look like a man in women's clothes. I don't try to look like a girl. I don't want to be a female. I love being a man. I just love women and their clothes. My wife loves me and accepts this part of me. I can dress any way I want to at home. I am not allowed to go out dressed. My wife even helps me pick out clothes and also has bought me some. She doesn't want to see me in a dress or skirt. I wear panties (thongs) and a bra daily. She bought me some bras and pajamas for my birthday. I hope this helps answer your questions.

[Billie Jean]

I love to come home from a long shift and change into my panties, night gown, and fuzzy slippers and relax. For me that's the most part of my CDing. Billie Jean

[Teresa]

So Newbie ,
I'm like Micki and wondering why you needed to be so specific ?

If you're reaching out and trying to move forward and educate yourself , why not just ask the question .

If I'm still allowed to answer , I'm a TG hetro but dress full time , even at home I will wear makeup and my wig because at some point in the day I may go out to run errands . I dress appropriate for the jobs I intend to do , if I'm gardening I usually wear a denim skirt and Tshirt or jeans . No I don't wear heels around the house and not to run my errands , I have several pairs of wedges with various heel heights .

I can't live with the inbetween state , in fact doing male mode feels more like CDing , besides I get visitors and deliveries calling and I do prefer to present as Teresa when answering the door or chatting to neighbours . I have to add it feels perfectly normal , I shop with my daughter and often have coffee out with my sister in law . My wife is almost the only one who hasn't seen me but I feel it would now be best if she did .

I appreciate you are wondering how far your SO will go or needs to go , maybe forget the normal -abnormal thinking and let him find a balance , I admit it'd easier for me now I'm separated but I wish to integrate into the community so I take care what I look like and try and dress appropriately .

The bottom line is you really do need to know what his needs are .

[ChelsiR]

You dress full time but your wife hasn't seen you?

[Teresa]

ChelsiR,
I'm not sure who your qusetion is to but my wife has never seen me fully dressed certainly not as my avatar , I feel it should happen so she can finally come to terms with it .


Gaz,
The fear of losing my close family hasn't happened , I go out with my daughter and grandaughter and my son in law's mother . I still help out with my two grandsons , OK in drab mode at my wife's home .

I discovered my wife didn't love me enough , I agree most relationships do have compromises but the big problem was my wife had lost the control over me , she has eventually agreed that was a big part of the problem . She could not stop me being ME !

The feeling that society may think it's tabbo is mostly in our heads , if you read my thread about the apple pies going down well , the people I associate with have soon forgotten what the male side of me was .

Lets not also forget the increasing number of F/M TGs , I don't read that associated section very much , so I can't say how male partners react to their female partner wanting to jump gender .

[So Newbie]

I’m a little confused as to why you are only interested in hearing from hetero members? I get that trans is kind of a different creature than CDers, but what do you think is different about gay and bi crossdressers?

I was asking because my bf is a hetro non transitioning mtf cd and wanted feed back from others. I don?t know if he could give feedback about a gay cd, but that?s a question I will bring up with him

[Teresa]

So Newbie,
Referring to your reply #11 .

You state your BF's current needs and status , you haven't mentioned age but our needs do tend to change as we get older , I have to admit my life has taken some turns with age I didn't expect .

[Maid_Marion]

I can find just about anything in size 2 female clothes and size 7 shoes for my retail therapy. Often at really deep discounts, too!

[Sometimes Steffi]

My wife knows about my dressing, but barely tolerates it. I hardly ever dress at home more than trying on some new clothes that I have bought. I love shopping for femme clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, wigs and just about anything else you can think of. I shop online and in stores equally, and I try everything on before I buy it. When I shop in stores, I am usually in full male mode, but sometimes I manage to enjoy time out of the house en femme and shopping at the same time. I attend a meetup clothing swap that is almost entirely GGs. I might pass in a dark bar across the room, but there's know way that I pass close up in daylight. The GGs treat me just like any other GG, and sometimes even help me pick out clothes. There are a few consignment stores that I shop at, in addition to a few thrift shops. Except for socks, I probably have more femme things in any category than my wife has.

I often go out with CD friends, usually in CD-friendly venues, but many times mixing with the vanillas in bars, restaurants, conferences and stores. When I'm out en femme, I go all out, clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup, wigs and nail polish if I can manage it. I underdress in panties sometime, in hose seldom and in bras never. However, I do go to my you classes as a MIAD, or more technically, a man in yoga pants and a yoga top. Many of the GGs in class appreciate my style. None of the men even make eye contact.

[ellbee]

None of the men even make eye contact.

That's because they know whatever you have is contagious & that's how it's spread!

[Victoria_Winters]

Ok.so it depends on my mood and what?s I?m doing. I do like to go all out if I have a full weekend to myself but if it?s just an afternoon or a single day then I will wear what ever o feel like. Never heels in the house. They do amazing things for your arse but man they are killer on you feet!

Some days(if it?s hot I?ll where a blouse and skirt or a very light dress. Other days it?s sweats, or just my JP?s. If it?s not to hot I?ll wear forms and wig, I usually always have them on durring ?girl days?. Mostly I just wear pants and a nice blouse or some t-shirt.

[char GG]

So Newbie has requested a specific group to respond to her. If you don't feel that you are in that group, you do not need to respond. Please do not question why.

[jayme357]

I’m with NancyJ. Usually I just enjoy dressing as casual as can be. Always with my boobs, a top of some sort, and some jewelry, particularly long dangling earrings. Anything else is just a bonus. On rare occasions I will go all the way and enjoy every moment. It just isn’t really necessary. I just love being a “normal” girl.

[TheHiddenMe]

We had a speaker at one of our transgender group meetings and she said "when you've met one transgender person you've met one transgender person", so you are probably going to get a variety of answers.

I am a married MTF hetero CD, as you asked. As a young boy, I wanted to try on dresses. I still do.

My dressing has evolved over time.

For a long time I wanted to dress but never did.

Then I began to underdress (generally panties under male clothes). I began to buy woman's clothes dressed as a guy, and dressing at home when I was home by myself. That lasted about 10 years.

Then I went out a couple of Halloweens and a day out in San Francisco.

Three years ago I was able to arrange four days out; nails, makeover, try on dresses, buy a new wig. That changed everything for me.

Since then, I have gone out dressed on a regular basis. When I get dressed, it's makeup, wig, accessories, shoes, etc. I prefer dresses and pantyhose, or tops and skirts, but I do wear jeans and leggings. I often go to stores but also restaurants, movies, the occasional museum. I've made GG friends that I met while out dressed.

I do what works for me.

[GeorgeA]

Hi Newbie,

Since you've been here for more than a year you are probably familiar with the term "MIAD": man in a dress. That's what I am. That means I do not impersonate a woman. I wear what used to be considered women's clothes that mostly been abandoned by young women. I will enumerate what I wear and highlight what is seldom worn by women these days. I start with garter-beltand nylons slip panties, blouse or shirt and skirt. I never wear a bra, forms, wigs, makeup, heels.

I live in the above mentioned garments all the time. When I have to go out I change my skirt for trousers otherwise remain underdressed at all times.

As I said I do not impersonate a woman, am not effeminate but a man who likes to dress differently than most men.

You wrote: Do you like to wear a skirt/blouse and heels and just hang out at the house? the answer is yes, except the heels.

As to being 'normal or abnormal' I think normal is what majority does, and abnormal what minority does therefore we, being a minority are abnormal even though we think we are normal. At least I do.

Feel free to ask more questions.

[So Newbie]

I would just like to say THANK YOU to all the feedback you have given me and for respecting the 'criteria' requested. I have been with my bf for 18 months and to say we have had our ups and downs is an understatement. LOL We have decided to seek out counseling to find middle ground and hopeful about our future. Your responses, while all different, make me feel that I'm not alone in what he does is 'normal'. (note the quotes, LOL)
Since joining this site I have learned a lot about myself and our relationship and I'm hear to tell you honest communication, FROM BOTH SIDES is key!

[Maid_Marion]

I've been wearing a junior's top (crop top, tank top, print) and short shorts during the day and VS PJs at night. And a denim skirt when the cat wants to sit in my lap.