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Thread: Why is looking completely female so important?

  1. #26
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    As a senior never married guy, and no SO, in a dull small town, one reason is being STARVED for female beauty, and love. i dress up as the very tall attractive lady, i never had any chance to date, court and marry. I am six foot six, too, and like the tall, leggy lady dressed up in the fashions i like. The number of times i went out in public, i know i could never fool anyone up close, but from a distance, maybe. I value my male side now, though for years i hated myself. My dad never wanted sons. After having my sister, he got three unwanted sons. But, i thank him for always providing for us and working. i was kept away form girls and was afraid to talk to them for a long time, did not date until late 20;s and very rarely.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 10-08-2019 at 03:24 PM.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    I started fully dressing at age 50, about 15 years ago. I always felt that the female side of me was quite strong. That having been said I do not have any desire to transition, due mostly to societal and familial, issues. The ability to "pass" allows me more latitude to experience my feminine side. But, as many posters have pointed out, the degree of dressing varies widely among us. Each has to find their own comfort level.
    Last edited by Angela1954; 10-11-2019 at 05:36 AM.

  3. #28
    Member Felicia M's Avatar
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    I only speak for myself when I say it was an evolution.

    I began at the age of four with basic hosiery. Then as I grew older and a bit more daring I tried panties and then bras, then shoes, then skirts, then dresses. Eventually I tried lipstick for the first time and it was like all the other things I have tried. It made me giddy and happy inside. Then I tried eyelashes for the first time and my entire world outlook changed LOL.
    Seriously though it was a process for me and each step a lovely adventure. I love to look as much the part as I can and see a woman in the mirror. I get to express how I feel within to the outside world. For me I really love that I can pass to at least some degree and it makes me feel wonderful.

    Everyone here is on a journey and in different places along that journey. If yours is just being in women's clothes then enjoy it.
    I have been circling for a thousand years,
    and I still don?t know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
    or a great song.

    Rainer Maria Rilke I live My Life in Growing Orbits

  4. #29
    Seamstress of Skirts Asew's Avatar
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    I kind of felt this way when I first starting peeking at internet forums. Then again months later when I went to my first girls night out with out CDers. They asked me my name, and told them my given name and they are like what is your girl name, so I said Asew but I never really wanted to be called that or anything, it was just a nickname I used for games all these years (which tended to be female avatars if possible). But they accept that I don't truly strive to look female but at the same time I as far on the female scale as I go on those nights. And those nights were part of how I realized I was non-binary, not wanting to be just male or just female, but a combination of whatever parts of each that I liked (I like the clothes, the painted toes, the long hair, and dislike makeup, fake boobs and the idea of shaving anything but my face).

  5. #30
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    I will give you my take on the whole "passing" thing...

    Back when I was just a crossdresser ( that is before I stopped denying that I was actually trans) having the perfect female form and appearance was my obsession and passing %100 as a woman was my goal. I spent a lot of time and money attempting to reach that.

    After I came to terms with myself being Transgender, I no longer feel the need to try to pass perfectly. Don't get me wrong I still wear a dress, breast forms, and makeup when I go out. But I rarely wear my hips or butt pads anymore. I don't try to change my voice.

  6. #31
    Member annecwesley's Avatar
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    It's simple for me. I can't go out of the house comfortably as a man in a dress. I've done that before (in skirts) and I feel I'm drawing too much attention. Disguised as a woman I simply fit in to the crowd in whatever outfit I choose to wear.

  7. #32
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    It did occur to me that one reason you see so many posts about those here who seek to look as feminine as possible is these are the "newsworthy" subjects to post about.

    If you're someone who regularly puts on a dress and say femme underwear and stays indoors then posting,"Hey, gess what I did today" isn't really, if you'll pardon me for saying so, that interesting. It pushes no real boundaries and so folks are unlikely to post about it.

    If however, you're someone who's been longing to go out and finally gets to experience that thrill then that invites a post, a desire to share your triumph.

    Time also plays it's part. How often have you read of starting at an early age with sister's/mom's knickers, moving on over the years to skirts, tops and dresses? Socks for boobs leads to buying first forms. You like what the mirror shows. A wig follows and you see a huge transformation in the person staring back. A corset and hip pads makes you look even better. You're slowly drawn towards looking ever more femme. There's that point where you realise that you're doing a reasonable job of emulating a woman and then adding makeup, that final bit of camouflage brings on the realisation that you look good. But like an athlete, you now want to improve your performance.

    Not wishing to reignite the debate but many of us who go out know we don't pass and never will. Our aim is to blend, not to stand out or draw attention. We want to go about our business with as little or no fuss as possible. In looking as femme as we can we achieve that. Also people respond to that more favorably so it's a win win all round.
    Last edited by Helen_Highwater; 10-08-2019 at 04:51 AM.

  8. #33
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Passing as a female is not important to me. Quite honestly it's going to take a lot for me to pass. It's all about how the clothes make me feel.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

  9. #34
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    I think it the natural evolution for me. I started with bras and stocking, then moved to clothes, then heel, then makeup and finally a wig, This was over a 20 year process. It was a lot on time and money just to sit around the house. Going out and trying to blend is just the next step.
    Sara

  10. #35
    Member Victoria_Winters's Avatar
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    Well with me.... I always want to look fully like a girl because I loved the clothes and well I wanted to be Someone other then me. I have a general sense of Dysphoria Bout my life. Not particularly about my sex but life in general. For me it started off as a form of escapism so I wanted to completely look like someone else.

    Plus I would love to this beuitiful woman. As I find myself generally not attractive... large nose, huge pores, girly cheek bone structure, huge forehead. So being something/someone that I find as very attractive is well very attractive to me. Not that I turn myself on! Just the feeling of being good looking is pretty euphoric.

    My female persona, Victoria, is this smart, funny, beuitiful, and fashionable person that I don?t see my normal self ever really being.

  11. #36
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I’m one of those who wants to look female all the time. In my heart I’m fully female, and I want to look like myself. I want to look in the mirror and see a woman looking back at me. When I go out I want others to see a woman and interact with me as a woman. I spent much of my life pretending to be male, and I’m sick of being a fake.

    There are others who feel as I do, but I suspect I’m in the minority here. To each her own.

  12. #37
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I think the simple answer for a lot of us on the trans spectrum is that we?re just trying to look like our real selves.

    Oh yeah, what Cynthia just said. (Great minds think alike )

  13. #38
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    Hi Stephy,

    There are as many reason as there are crossdressers. We are all individuals and have our own outlook on crossdressing. What works for one does not for another.

    When I joined here I also was asked for a female name which I used for over 9 years. On a few occasions I was referred to as "she" or lumped together with "girls" or "ladies" which I did not feel was proper description of me.

    I've been crossdressing for many decades but never experienced "pink fog". I was always a male in women's clothes. never felt that I should be a female or behave like one.

    Having a female name and participating in discussions on the forum seemed to me that I am an impostor. The views I expressed were coming from a male point of view and not female. I felt that I should abandon my disguise and come out as what I truly am: a male. A few months ago I changed my user name to reflect who I am.

    From that moment all opinions expressed can be seen as coming from a male point of view. I feel now liberated. I am who I am.

    It started about two years ago when I wanted to present myself as not a regular crossdresser who impersonates a woman but a man dressed in women's clothes. That's when I created a term: MIAD - a man in a dress to differentiate from female impersonators. I have nothing against those who want to look like women and appreciate their efforts to achieve it.

    But I am different and wanted the community to know that while I wear dresses or skirts I have no intention to look like a woman. I want to be and look like a man in a dress. I spend most of my time dressed like that except for a couple of hours a day when I have to go somewhere, wearing trousers but always underdressed.

    I guess that answers your question why it is important to look like a woman: not for everybody!
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  14. #39
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    So I guess I fall somewhere between GeorgA and CynthiaD. I like both. There are times I'm out as a "gym rat" man with the tank top exposing the biceps, triceps and shoulders I have worked on for so long and there are times I prefer a dress presenting as a mature "soccer mom" . I like having the ability to choose.

  15. #40
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    Hi Stephy , For me that's what it is all about ! >Orchid ..00..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  16. #41
    Senior Member 5150 Girl's Avatar
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    For me, dressing is manifesting who I am in my heart.

  17. #42
    Member fun4metoo2004's Avatar
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    For me, the complete look is the only way to go if I am going out. That is not to say I am looking like the perfect woman, but what I consider perfect for my look that I am trying to achieve. I feel better knowing that I am wearing what I look and feel good wearing. If I am called out as a Main in a Dress, then so be it. However thus far I have pulled it off without trying. Confidence in yourself is the key in my opinion. If you go out looking like a drag queen, then that is what people will see. if you go out wearing and looking age and gender appropriate, then I think that should be good enough.

  18. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by 5150 Girl View Post
    For me, dressing is manifesting who I am in my heart.
    Couldnt have said it better

    JAS

  19. #44
    Junior Member Gaz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeorgeA View Post
    It started about two years ago when I wanted to present myself as not a regular crossdresser who impersonates a woman but a man dressed in women's clothes. That's when I created a term: MIAD - a man in a dress to differentiate from female impersonators. I have nothing against those who want to look like women and appreciate their efforts to achieve it.
    George is now my hero. I want to be George when I grow up.

    Honestly, as someone who basically echoes everything George mentioned above - I love wearing the clothing, but at no point do I ever feel like a woman - I feel like I have to go from one pigeon hole to another. The "real world" looks at me as a crossdresser and thinks that I must be A, B, C. I'm weird that I wear womens' clothing. I'm a deviant of some sort. I must be gay. It's something we all know, and we're all familiar with. But I also feel that the crossdressing world looks at me and thinks I must be X, Y, and Z. I'm, expected to come up with a feminine name for myself. My desire to wear the things I do because of the inner lady trying to get out, and unless I start shaving my legs and learning makeup techniques, it almost feels like I'm being accused of repressing myself - like the line between crossdressing (the simple act of dressing in clothing made/marketed for the other gender) is somehow becoming blurred with the need to transition towards the female.

    Don't get me wrong - there's a tiny curiosity when I've got female clothes on that wonders what I'd look like "all the way", but I feel it as a curiosity (and a rare one at that) and certainly not an urge.

    So yep. Like George, looking completely female isn't that important - at least not to everyone.

  20. #45
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    In my head and heart I am a female. That's why I dress as nicely as I can so I can look the part to others.

  21. #46
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    It is very important. If It wasn't I don't think I would be spending the money on hair styling, eyebrow waxing every month, makeup and the clothes.

  22. #47
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    I just want to add that after so many years of crossdressing I became so used to it that I no longer consider that I'm crossdressing I just dress not to be naked.

    On a reflection I think I'm crossdressing when I leave my house. How is that you may ask? When I go out I wear trousers and that's crossdressing as now I look like most women I see around.

    I did an observation once. Of the 30 women going by my house only 4 wore skirts the others various forms of trousers.

    So wearing of skirts is no longer crossdressing but wearing trousers is. I'm getting all confused now and better go to bed now.
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  23. #48
    Member Felicia M's Avatar
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    Have to add this anecdote.

    Have you ever watched a woman put a scrunchie in her hair? I have always watched and been mesmerized by this simple task that gg's have probably been doing since they were children. And some are sooooo good at it.

    Yesterday I decided to try a few different looks with a scrunchie and I was shocked at how this incredibly simple looking task is actually a learned skill. I made a total hash of it lol! Much like makeup or putting on falsies,
    or coordinating clothing and shoes it takes practice, practice. practice. It reminded me that looking completely female is work and once you begin the process you realize that there will always be something new to try or
    something more to perfect and realize it will always be a process. There are so many intricacies to learn that gg's have just naturally practiced for years and years but the process is mesmerizing and enjoyable to me
    all the same.

    FM
    Last edited by Felicia M; 10-12-2019 at 10:29 AM.
    I have been circling for a thousand years,
    and I still don?t know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
    or a great song.

    Rainer Maria Rilke I live My Life in Growing Orbits

  24. #49
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    George,
    I do try and understand the MIAD point of view but please respect those of us who are out in the RW totally as women , we are dealing with our dysphoria and not trying to impersonate women .
    The real me ,no going back.

  25. #50
    New Member Stacywright's Avatar
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    Completely passing as a girl gets compliments from women you interact with...and who doesn't like being told you look amazing.

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