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Thread: So... this happened

  1. #1
    Member CayleeMarie's Avatar
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    Oct 2019
    Ruralish, N Georgia

    So... this happened

    Since I am new in town, I will share a little character development. I have a loving and supportive wife who accepts and supports my dressing. I am in a DLTH (don't leave the house) relationship. So long as I respect that and don't dress in front of the live-in daughter and granddaughters, I can present and dress any way I choose.

    A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I took a cruise in which my wife approved of my taking some of my more gender neutral women's clothes. So I was able to wear my femme shorts and strappy sandals, and I could under dress in a bra so long as it wasn't lined, padded, or filled. All of this was at her concession, so I was thrilled to get to experience that much. After a couple of days onboard the ship with no one noticing, gawking, or commenting, she finally let go of some of her anxieties and realized nobody really cared what I was wearing. So needless to say a few pics of me were added to our vacation photo album.

    So fast forward to a week ago, and we're having dinner with a couple who have been very close to me for the last nearly thirty years and who have "adopted" my wife when she and I got married eight years ago. As I'm reviewing the pictures on my tablet before the big vacation slide show, I discover I have the wrong album, because some of "those" pictures are included. My wife trying not to freak out calmly suggests that we skip sharing those. We manage to make it through without outing me. On the way home we discuss sharing this facet of my personality with them without coming to any conclusion.

    Last Monday we're having dinner with the same couple, which is part of our regular weekly routine, and my wife looks over at me and says that I can tell them if I want to. Needless to say, I felt like a little kid who just saw the tree on Christmas morning after Santa Clause had been there. So over the next hour I share my story and my experiences and where I am with all of this. And here is the best part... after I had finished, their response was we really could care less what you wear because regardless of what you are wearing you are still the person we have known and loved all these years. Afterwards I asked them if it would be okay if I presented as Caylee, and they were both open and receptive to the idea. On the way home my wife initiated the conversation on working around the logistics of getting Caylee out of the house with the daughter there. I really am blessed to have such an amazing woman. She has come a very long way.

    Sorry for the long read... but I didn't want to leave any of the details out. You ladies are amazing and I appreciate the courage I have gained from your experiences. Yes, I know... take it slow and don't rush or push. Trust me, I really don't want to mess this up.

    Report on Caylee's debut to follow...

  2. #2
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    New England
    Wow Caylee, that's great! I'm looking forward to your follow up
    It's just the clothes... isn't it?

  3. #3
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Proceed with caution. She may still be deciding how comfortable she is with it. Just because she said it's okay, she might still decide it's not. Give her time. proceed slowly.

  4. #4
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    United States, East Coast
    Well I'll be wanting to hear the follow up! I'll bet if you and she have planned an outing, she'll want to pick up something nice for you to wear
    Too much mascara is almost enough.

    Contact me on MeWe

  5. #5
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    San Francisco Area
    Congratulations! Keep up the good work and buy your wife some flowers, perfume or whatever. She deserves it.

  6. #6
    Member Felicia M's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Greater Boston, MA
    Lovely and wonderful story Caylee!
    I have been circling for a thousand years,
    and I still don?t know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
    or a great song.

    Rainer Maria Rilke I live My Life in Growing Orbits

  7. #7
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Very cute story. Be sure to do something nice for your wonderful wife. Thanks for sharing.
    - Robin

    Because life is too short not to.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Nation's Capital
    Quote Originally Posted by CayleeMarie View Post
    On the way home my wife initiated the conversation on working around the logistics of getting Caylee out of the house with the daughter there. I really am blessed to have such an amazing woman. She has come a very long way.
    I have a small duffle bag that can fit most of Steffi's clothes and other essentials for a day or night outing. I have a DADT wife and can't dress at home. I've dressed in my car, in public bathrooms (behind a closed door and at a friend's house many times, because that's the only way I get to go out.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 10-17-2019 at 08:26 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.


  9. #9
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Caylee wrote:

    their response was we really could care less what you wear because regardless of what you are wearing you are still the person we have known and loved all these years.

    That should be the motto of crossdressing.
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  10. #10
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Virginia USA
    Caylee, Your wife has thought this over and decided to let you have fun, first on the trip and now with your dear friends. You are so lucky but a small word of caution, Genifer may be correct, give her time and proceed slowly. I have first hand experience with this, my wife was accepting and encouraging and then changed her mind to only tolerating this side of me.

  11. #11
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Southeast WI.
    Wow great news, very nice story have fun would love to see pictures

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    In my experience wives are often testing things, running experiments, and gathering information to see if they need to change their mind on something. Men do it too, but I think women are more inclined to be adaptive. So the advice to take it slow and pay close attention to her behavior is very good advice. Attitude changes may appear first in a change of behavior toward you before the real reason for the change is spoken. Crissy's experience is an example - a wife that was supportive at first and then changed her mind. But it can go either way. Non-supportive to supportive. Have fun but be observant.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Southern California
    I’d advise a bit of caution with your optimism. I’ve heard plenty of stories of people coming out to friends or family, and them saying “that’s great” or “we don’t mind” or whatever, but down the line they distance themselves. What people say to your face isn’t always what they’re saying behind your back.

  14. #14
    dress to feel the energy Shely's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    that's my dream, come true, someday maybe.

  15. #15
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Southern Illinois
    I?m with Micki Finn. Part of our sojourn is expression, going out, and sharing with others. At one time or another, we?ve probably all been tempted to share that part of our lives with others. I have, but have chosen the side of caution. I have a supportive wife, who, along with me still doesn?t understand cding. We agree to keep it to ourselves. How can others understand? I?m not insinuating people are hypocrites, but, some are. Any revelation of something one doesn?t understand will be handled either in a dismissive way, or may cause further research, creating a myriad of questions. People do talk too...?did you know..?? The risk is accented if the relationship goes south.

  16. #16
    Member CayleeMarie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2019
    Ruralish, N Georgia
    Thank you all for all of the encouragement and best wishes. Most of all thank you for the words of caution. I have read plenty of threads about going too fast or acceptance and approval reversing. Believe me I am hypersensitive to every comment, remark, and observation she makes about my dressing.

    So, for now the plan is to involve her in the selection of what she would be comfortable with me wearing. As for our friends, they are a couple of very open minded old flower children. We don't share a mutual circle of friends so I don't see any problem with them sharing this with anyone. So long as I keep it conservative and take it slow, I really don't foresee any problems.

    Thanks again

  17. #17
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Orange County, California
    I love long reads like yours, Caylee. Good advice .. go slow.

  18. #18
    Silver Member giuseppina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    I agree with the posters recommending caution. Moving too quickly often causes drama.

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