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Thread: How foolish is this idea?

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member
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    The pink fog will pass. Coming out is forever. If you are in a job that pays you for exercising good judgment, this is probably not a way to impress your bosses.

  2. #27
    Davina Katherine Davina Katherine's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your very thought provoking replies.

    To be honest, I don't think anyone at work would be surprised to see a femme version of me, since I'm not a macho guy to start with.

    I'm not wanting to transition, as I see myself as dyadic (both/and), if that's a "thing". I am comfortable being boy-me and would like to become as comfortable being girl-me. And so there's this strong feeling that Jessie doesn't want to "stay home".

    My wife seems ok with the Halloween idea, and has even helped me with costume ideas.

    All my life I've always had issues with being either way too analytic and self-doubting, on one hand, to being rash and "let's just do this already!" on the other.

    Obviously this is not about dressing up at Halloween (duh!). It's about figuring out Who and WHAT I am and when and where to be what and who.

    Oh Gosh, this has gotten heavy.

    Anyway, Thank you ALL!
    Finding this place and all of you has been so great.
    Last edited by Davina Katherine; 10-19-2019 at 05:59 AM.

  3. #28
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    I say if you want to do it then absolutely go and do it, only you know your coworkers and what to expect from them.
    Crissy

  4. #29
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    If you don't mind the attention you'll get go ahead. I didn't like the reactions and people laughing at me last Halloween and I wasn't even dressed in drag. I was supposed to be an 80s rocker and wore black pleather leggings.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  5. #30
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    Yeah, heavy, but something I think many of us struggle with. I know I do. Good luck on what I hope is a fantastic journey.

    Oh, and given the opportunity, I would definitely do this. Good luck!

  6. #31
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    How foolish is this idea??????? IT'S NOT!!!!!!!

    You already have support from your colleague friend at work, so do it and have fun!!!!

  7. #32
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    It's Halloween so just do it and enjoy it.
    Angie

  8. #33
    Woman in the making Mickitv's Avatar
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    I agree with many of the comments. Go out and enjoy yourself. It is Halloween.[/FONT]

  9. #34
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JessieMae View Post
    To be honest, I don't think anyone at work would be surprised to see a femme version of me, since I'm not a macho guy to start with.
    Not being macho, and being definitely feminine, is not even close to being the same thing.
    Unless you've been wearing, say, subtle eyeliner, getting your nails manicured, tights/stockings instead of socks, or are in general a 'dandy' with feminine body mannerisms, having you all of a sudden showing up in a dress IS going to be a bit of a surprise.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  10. #35
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    You said you worked in a mental health facility. But, in what capacity? If you have a patient responsibility, the answer is absolutely NOT!!

    As others have mentioned, crossdressing in a mental health facility could have some serious consequences. I have been in the MH business, in-patient and out-patient, since 1972. The minute you hit the door, it is no longer about you! If I was your supervisor I would tell you to work out your issues on your own time, and in some other place than that facility. Regardless of any underlying internal struggles, the staff of a mental health facility should project stability and trustworthiness. If there are some low level transferences about in the atmosphere, your crossdressing could set off some pretty serious abreactions.

    Get your act together first. Do not inflict your ambiguity on the therapeutic community. It is not fair to them, or you.

    Good luck.

  11. #36
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Jessie Mae,
    I would say that if you employer encourages staff to dress up for Halloween, company policy is to be LGTBQ friendly and your line manager OKs it - then why not try it?
    Seems like a fabulous way to be "out " for a day. And if it does not work out then "it was just a bit of fun with a Halloween costume".
    I think if I had the opportunity I would take it.
    luv J

  12. #37
    Member rhonda's Avatar
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    Why dont you do it ,you know you want to . have some fun with it at work , could make the day special

  13. #38
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    I'll be the wet blanket here. It is a bad idea. Always best to keep dressing and work separate. As unlikely as it is people will figure it out, it is your livelihood, don't risk it (especially being in a sensitive field like metal health.) Being able to make a living trumps almost everything in life, especially if you are not going to fully transition.

    The rainbow triangles may just be meaningless virtue signaling. Like Lexi said, they slap them up whether or not they are really "LGBT friendly", it costs them nothing, it makes them look good and if everyone else does it they will be the odd man out if they don't. Reminds me of the AIDS red ribbons politicians and celebrities wore in the late 1980s, whether they actually cared about AIDS or not, anyone who didn't slap a red ribbon on like everyone else was given grief about it.

  14. #39
    Davina Katherine Davina Katherine's Avatar
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    You all have given me lots to think about. That's why I asked the question.
    And I will seriously weigh the pros and cons.

    Lexi, I was trying to say I'm no "manly man", but I don't think I come across as a "girly man" either.

    Vickie CDTV, not going to risk my job over this. I may be close to retirement, but not that close!

    vt Vicky, currently I'm in the IT department, with no direct contain with clients. Few years back I was a family therapist.

    Jacques, just today, I was considering running it past my supervisor. (There is no official requirement that costumes be pre-approved.)

    And if it ain't fun, what's the point, right?

    Thanks again. JM
    Last edited by Davina Katherine; 10-23-2019 at 07:48 PM.

  15. #40
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    If you decide to go dressed - it requires pictures, we all want to see Jessie the good witch ……………………….Debra

  16. #41
    Davina Katherine Davina Katherine's Avatar
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    Spoke with my supervisor yesterday, told him I was thinking of dressing as a gypsy fortune teller.
    (My wife, who's helping me, and I weren't able to put together a witch costume)

    When he said wasn't sure what a gypsy fortune teller would look like, it took the opportunity to show him a picture of me in my proposed costume.
    He said the costume in the picture was fine, but what would I be wearing. He had not recognized me.

    When I told him it was me in the picture, he was amused and a bit disbelieving.

    Glad I got his official OK.

  17. #42
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    I came to my adult Sunday School Class Halloween Party as a GYPSY FORTUNE TELLER a few years back. Interest had been waning in our costume Contest, so I decided to "Shake things up" one year by doing something DRASTIC. Since I never went out as a FEMALE before, coming as" a woman" would have the shock effect I needed but "A woman " would be "unimaginative" Suddenly I thought of a "Gypsy Fortune teller" not only female, but had a Halloween theme. ----I was the HIT of the party and won the contest hands down. ALL the ladies wanted ME to read their fortunes.(Great way to meet women, if not "unconventional") My plan worked next year we had all kinds of great costumes.---I Only won 2nd place the next year with my Mark Twain costume---bested by an 80 year old "Pregnant Nun".

    Hey, us straight guys have no trouble wearing female costume to a Halloween party, nothing to fear. Only just put enough years between each time as to not arouse "suspicion". If we do it EVERY YEAR people might begin to "wonder" about us.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by MarinaTwelve200; 10-25-2019 at 06:20 AM.

  18. #43
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    Halloween is the best time for that. So did you do it?

  19. #44
    Davina Katherine Davina Katherine's Avatar
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    We are dressing up on the Halloween day.
    I'll be sure to let you all know how it goes.

  20. #45
    Davina Katherine Davina Katherine's Avatar
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    Final Update:

    I DID IT! And got very positive reviews of my costume.
    All the ladies in the clerical department seemed impressed. My boobs really seemed to interest them!
    My CEO was almost speechless (in a good way). After lunch he saw me fixing my lipstick, that was a funny exchange.

    I even got to do some real tarot carding readings. They asked me to come back. Haha. If only.

    It was a great day, it felt so natural to be Jessie Mae at work. I even got people to call me Jessie.

    (There are pictures in the Picture section)

    Thanks for all your support.

    Love,
    Jessie Mae

  21. #46
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Glad everything worked out well for you!
    I guess sometimes just jumping in and hoping for the best works out.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  22. #47
    Davina Katherine Davina Katherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    Glad everything worked out well for you!
    I guess sometimes just jumping in and hoping for the best works out.
    And being the fortune teller, the Tarot card for that is...
    the_fool.jpg

    But I did tarot reading (past influences, current task, future outcome) for Jessie Mae and got this....
    jm_tarot.jpg

    Which made lots of sense, dealing with a past full of masculine hierarchical authority, patiently working to find balance and integration, to reach a completed state of being.
    Or something like that.

  23. #48
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    [QUOTE Final Update: I DID IT! And got very positive reviews of my costume.[/QUOTE]

    Congratulations - I am glad it went well,
    luv J

  24. #49
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    Now that Halloween has passed, I hope you did it.

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