*****im a DADT graduate*****
well i did it, i asked, boy it was touchy though,
i feel like a school girl right now though, weird er than before.....
so we were watching shows on Friday eve, i looked at her wine glass and said do you have enough....she says yes and i start....i wanted to talk....she goes now what....so i say never mind, silence from me now im apprehensive, never mind....she prods me later on so i tell her....i found a support group....she says whats it cost....me nothing its free, where is it....tell her the town....she asks when....i tell her every three weeks i think, so she states once a month i say yes something like that....she states if you have to do it them go, still apprehensive her tone said no all the way.
we continued watching shows and the conversation on my end was short answered, she was fairly normal. after some time she asks whats wrong so i tell her she was not sounding supportive....she tells me again that if i have to do it to help me get over it then go....so i tell her its not something im going to get over and she goes i know but if its something you need to do then do it....so it tell her i might have to go dressed.... if you have to then go. i then tell her i didnt want to feel like i freak and want to shave my legs, would she have a problem with that, im not sure, maybe after, you cant have it in the summer when the boy will see, told her i understand that too of course.
now im in shock....and i apologize for being me....then i ask her what she was thinking i was going to say in the beginning, she says she doesnt know.... i tell her im afraid shes going to leave when i talk about these things, then she says thats what she is afraid of, i reassure her that thats not what will happen, she says i cant promise that.... i reassure her again and she reiterates that i cant promise that.... i came in and gave her a hug and told her that wont happen...
later in the night i gave her another squeezy hug and thanked her for the conversation....she has no idea how huge this was for me....
sooo after i wrote this i realized how much was said, its different now, it was like an accident, it seemed like slo-motion, but it was over in a second, so much happened in those minutes, in that brief span of time more happened than i first remembered until i gathered my thoughts here.....
its not DADT anymore......