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Thread: The flavours of crossdressing and remembering we're all different!

  1. #26
    Nylons lover GeorgeA's Avatar
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    There are lots of good replies and as usual all are positive as in my observation most members here are accepting of other ways of crossdressing even though they may differ in their way.

    I also felt out of place here for many years not because of the rejection or criticism but that my way of life was so different from most of those who wanted to "pass"; to look like women. I was not sure if I belong here.

    But then I realised that most them had something to say about how to apply makeup, what wigs to wear, shoes, jewellery, etc.
    That's why they were active here.

    People, like I, who had no interest in above items said very little and therefore seemed not to exist.

    Then I started the "MIAD" threads to tell everyone that we exist and are also crossdressers even if we do not want to look like women.

    The results were very gratifying. So many people replied that they also were miads to a larger or lesser extent.
    And acceptance was also from those CDs that were dressing "all the way" like women.

    I found my place here, I finally felt that I belong here.

    Members here know that there are many paths in crossdressing and it's easier for them to understand different ways doing something that they do themselves. Not so for the outside world.

    Thank you, Gaz, for starting the thread and for all those positive and informative replies.

    The forum serves its purpose.
    GeorgeA
    formerly Salerba

    "a miad" Man-in-a-Dress

  2. #27
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Gaz, Good thread with many interesting reply’s. We are all on the big CD,TG,TS spectrum but there no two alike, everyone is different even if by just a few degrees. The key is, and you expressed it, is self acceptance, that is so very important to achieve and some of us will never find that but hopefully will some day.
    Crissy

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    Well said from another hairy, beer chugging, motorcycle riding, wife loving, panty wearing and lingerie loving part time cross dresser.

  4. #29
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Gaz, Thanks for posting. I agree there are lots of people on the spectrum of CDing that want different things out of it. Just be yourself.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  5. #30
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    First it is good that one are in a good place.That you have accepted this is how you are and are able to deal with it.

    You are correct in that everyone is different, some are similar but if you look closely you will see the difference. Not right or wrong just different.

    Deferent not just how it relates to here but who they are as a person, how they see the world and interact with it.

    Just because someone does something doesn't mean you will or ever want to.

    There are many here like you, they just may not be as visible as others. Just look at any tread that has the point of view that everyone here wants to be a girl and you will see them.

    The only thing that everyone here has in common is that they are here, why , well they all have their reasons and they are not all the same.

  6. #31
    Member ThiHi's Avatar
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    Well said. Like you, rarely post. I too am married, and bery comfortable with who I am. well, mostly ;-) I do shave my legs and face, I'm pretty fem lookimg for an older person, I guess. But like you, I'm not transitioning, I guess non-binary fits me? I'm not into labels. If you like sexy undies and nothing else, well done!

  7. #32
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gaz View Post
    But because of all that, I've never felt that I fit. This forum feels a lot more like its more geared towards trans women, people who are either living their lives 24/7 in female mode, or are seeking to go that way.
    I hear you on that.

    And I think one of the reasons why it seems that way, is because those who *do* fit that category, are a lot more active & vocal -- and have a *lot* to talk about! Can certainly be way more complicated, with many pieces to that particular puzzle.


    Are they "pushing" people further down the rabbit-hole? Perhaps that they're a figurative hammer, thinking everything is a nail? One could argue either way.

    I am a bit concerned that this is happening, not just here, but elsewhere, as well. Though at the same time, in some cases it can be pretty vital for someone to receive a gentle nudge along the way, as well, for them to step out of their comfort zone a bit, as they may truly need it in the grand scheme of things.

    So, I see both sides.



    Personally? Over the decades, I've been all over the map. Anywhere from a minor sexual fetish, to seriously considering transitioning during a couple periods in my life (turns out, not for me!), to purging/abstaining/losing interest or desire, to pretty much socially transitioning for a while -- and everything in between. In no particular order, at that, LOL!

    I'm pretty happy where I'm at now... Mainly a MIAD (more like a MIAL: Man In A pair of Leggings, ha!), with the occasional getting all dolled-up as the need arises (but not taking it the *full* 9 yards, either).


    Of course, I'm also fully aware that, at least in my case, just when you think you've got it all figured out? A rogue wave out from left field, can always potentially come crashing down on me, totally upsetting the apple cart.

    So, I try to take it day by day. Only way to ride this thing, IMO.

  8. #33
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    I learnt to live with myself along time ago now and accepted me for what and who I am, I?m a cross dresser and I can say that about myself now, I?ve accepted me, I think that acceptance took a long time coming, I know I?ll never pass as a woman, but I love the woman that I am when I dress

    I don?t do it for sexual thrills, I do it because I love it and love the inner calm it gives me and I joined this forum because I know I?m different, that no longer bothers me but I do enjoy being here amongst like minded people who I accept are not all the same as me, but that?s what has broadened my outlook

    I?ll never transition, I?ll never pass as a woman outdoors but I love to read of those ladies here that do, I like to share in people?s lives and the more you share, the more you realise that as you say, we are all different and have different needs

    I enjoyed reading your post, so I guess that means you fit to me, I see you are not the same as me but we do share a common thing and that is we are both here for a reason and that is that we dare to be different

  9. #34
    Junior Member Star01's Avatar
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    My story dates back to the early 1960's so I'll be brief since it somewhat mirrors many of the other stories.

    I had an unusually traumatic childhood losing my mother and my dad remarrying then losing my step mother. I found her cloths, nylons, garters, slips, etc., in the attic one day. Her ex had owned a print shop and we sold our house and moved in with her so I was in the attic looking for paper to draw on. This all happened shortly after I discovered some of my dad's porn (mild by today's standards) where the women were dressed in stockings and garters. I was excited by it and I'll admit that all of this connected in my young mind and to this day there is a sexual component that motivates me whenever I think about it or get dressed.

    I'm 68 now, "kind of in the closet" and am not passable and have no desire to go out in public dressed. When I dress I prefer lingerie as that is easier for me to stash. I have purged and collected many times over the years and raised four kids (had a smaller home at the time) and rarely got to even consider dressing. By "kind of in the closet" I mean that I told my wife about my childhood decades ago but she didn't want any part of it. My wife is not a prude and is very accepting but she thinks me shaving my legs and armpits is weird (don't have any chest or back hair) and will occasionally drop a snarky remark about me wanting to wear a dress. When the change came she used to be open sexually and gave me a "hall pass" and doesn't want to know.

    So yes, it's true that I lay low to keep her happy but it's also because my neighbor tried out for our local pro football team and the guy behind me is an auto racer while my son is macho, living out in the country. There is a big metro area of several million people under an hour from here so if I was adamant about going out in public I could and I have in fact seen trans people at downtown clubs when I went to see a relative's band. Basically with me I don't have any desire to go out in public so that is not an issue.

    My biggest problem at this point is that over the past fifteen years I gained a lot of weight so now I'm a BBW granny CD is probably the best way to put it. I do have wigs, makeup, shoes, jewelry (I pierced my ears back in my long hair days) and I'm even getting fairly good at eye makeup which I never tried until recently.

    In my case I'm torn about coming out to my SO thinking in my mind that it would make it easier to find and visit friends. As far as the sexual component, I didn't accept that until about ten years ago and am very limited in that respect but it is a factor in my dressing. Just to put coming out in perspective, my oldest daughter recently came out as a lesbian. She's married with three kids and is planning to get a divorce but is on good terms with her husband. Everyone in the family including my wife who has always had very liberal views is accepting this.

    Life is complicated and we're all not in a circumstance or a location where being "our true selves" is safe or advisable for a variety of reasons.
    Last edited by char GG; 10-29-2019 at 04:54 PM. Reason: some words are against the rules

  10. #35
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    Gaz, thank you for posting this. I am new to this site and just starting to let myself explore how far I want to go as a CD. Your post made me tear up because I know I am not alone now. I have no desire to act on fem. But do want to wear whatever I thing looks and feels good on me. At the same time, I want to have some fem touches like smooth legs and chest as well as wear a wig. Your post helps me feel like that is ok for now.

  11. #36
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    There are a lot more miad here than I thought.

  12. #37
    Junior Member Star01's Avatar
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    To make it clear, when I dress and put on makeup, wig and jewelry I'm waaayyyyy beyond being a MIAD and if the circumstances were right I'd be doing much more. Completely shaved, pierced ears, some nice tatts in the right places and I think I look pretty good for an infrequent dresser. Prancing around in the yard wouldn't accomplish anything here in flyover country except to maybe get my butt kicked. I'm a very fortunate CD in that I inherited small hands and feet from my dad's side. My hands are basically lady hands and my feet are only 7.5 in men's sizes. My downfall is that eighteen years ago I dieted down to my weight when I was in the service, about 143# and I looked borderline passable with my long hair and pierced ears at the time. When I woke up and quit smoking (I had been heavy before, it's a constant fight) I gained, and gained, and purged and felt depressed because Star (my actual CD name) wasn't happy. A few years ago I looked around, realized there are heavy set women that still try to look nice and started picking up some things again. Shopping isn't easy when it's always on the sly, I do all of my shopping in an adult gift store, a costume shop and get my makeup at a nearby dollar store.

    Currently I have lurked on here for a little over a year making only five posts during that time and spending long periods of time not checking this board (but still being me). I occupy the lower level for my separate TV room and music/computer/bedroom to facilitate a better nights sleep so I do have a couple hours of privacy at night but it's difficult to dress as she stays up almost as late as I do. I restrict my dressing to when I have the house to myself and once in a while when I visit a CD friend and actually have several that I stay in touch with. The challenge isn't so much to get out as I'm retired and have my own vehicle and it's not unusual for me to go to sporting events by myself or with guy friends so it's easy to get out.

    I don't think the number of times a person can dress or whether they go out in public or know all of the latest gender terms makes them any more or less of a CD. I have been CD'ing since around 1963/1964 and I live outside the city so scolding me for not knowing the latest big city lingo is futile. Where I live we learned on the farm and there isn't much wiggle room for variety or terms. I think people living in the bubble of big metro areas don't understand how difficult it is for some of us or how far removed we are from what's trendy and what some of you might consider normal in your world.

  13. #38
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    I might as well add my story to the mix.

    Thanks for starting a new thread on this. I've been a member since 2008 (wow really?) and I guess I can be described as a MIAD or just good old half-transvestite.

    It's taken me a long time to feel somewhat at ease with this. I have my wife to thank for that. She found out in an unfortunate way (finding women's clothes there weren't her's leading her to believe I was cheating). She confronted me about it, I immediately broke down crying and almost couldn't get the words to come out of my mouth. She was a bit upset that I kept it from her but she was relieved that, to her, it wasn't a big deal.

    Even though she's been supportive and accepting, I've had a hard time opening up about it. Shame, guilt (she didn't marry a girl, she married a guy) and confusion (am I TG or just a TV) but over the years I've become more comfortable. I don't want to transition but if I had the "magical" ability to switch back and forth I would be soo happy. I admit, when I see a movie with a handsome man and a beautiful woman, I wish I could be the woman more so than the man.

    At the end of the day, my goal is to be able to mix male/female clothes in a stylish way and just live as a man who occasionally wears skirts, tights, maybe a dress, leggings. I've done this around the house and I have a decent wardrobe of female clothes. I still haven't dressed in front of my wife, we're working to that.

    I do wish to venture out dressed, not passing, just a MIAD. I live in the NYC metro area and I'm quite certain I wouldn't get more than a few laughs or comments from teenagers. Most people area here just don't care what others wear and as you get closer to the city, people have "seen it all."

    I've often contemplated going to local support groups (I have more than a few available in the NYC metro area) but I've been worried about not "fitting in" as you say. I expect to go and see men fully en femme, but since I don't fully identify as or want to present as a woman, I feel like I'd be out of place.

    I've never felt out of place on this forum. Honestly I read the threads I find interest in (coming out stories, clothing discussions) and skip the ones I'm not (make up, breast forms, etc), so I take from the discussion what I need. Sometimes it's surprising and enjoyable when someone posts a MIAD thread (kind of like find a favorite movie on the cable/satellite system by accident), but they seem far and few between.

  14. #39
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    I have an interesting or maybe not so interesting sidebar or question on this discussion. Over the years I have read many comments from members that their wives draw the line at makeup and a wig. Wearing the garments is tolerable, but, not emulating a woman in totality. The "I married a guy, not a gal" position. Is it possible a guy only presenting as a "man in a dress" without makeup and wig is trying, consciously or subconsciously, denying his true self. When I started wearing women's clothing decades ago it was limited to lingerie. My wife viewed it more as a fetish until that infamous vivid red Vanity Fair bra materialized one day. Then, it was "The Talk." Wham, no more fetish. This was new virgin territory. The lure over the years lead me to wigs and makeup, and, an all or nothing attitude. I no longer felt comfortable donning a feminine article of clothing without going "all the way." I have continued to somewhat progress to foregoing the heavy makeup. Maybe some lip stick/gloss. No nail polish. Still the wig. I suspect it has sunk into my brain that the women around me do not go all out with makeup or nail polish. I also have found, if my mind is not into it, I feel no draw to be en femme. I suspect, since I am totally comfortable being a man, when whatever it is that causes me to don women's clothing arises, then it is ALL or NOTHING.

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