How Sad

[Sara Olivia]

Hi All
How sad it is that this page seems to have lost all women who regularly visited here. This used to be my favorite site, I met and learned so much from the women in the past here. Now it seems that everyone has moved on. A shame.

[Lydianne]

Now it seems that everyone has moved on. A shame.

I don't read this sub forum... but I did read this. My opinion that follows applies to the entire forum:

Let's not lose the wood for the trees. Moving on is a good thing, isn't it? People come here ( and into this sub-forum, especially ) so that they can find solutions in order to achieve that. Personally, I congratulate them.

- L.

[Aunt Kelly]

You're both right, I feel. It's sad to lose friends when they start "doing life" and have better things to do than hang out here. We can only hope that their departure is because they've accomplished something that should be celebrated.
...and be grateful for those few who've stuck around and graced us with the benefit of their knowledge and experience.

[Jeri Ann]

Hey Sara,

You should post more here. You have a lot to contribute.

[Eemz]

I think it goes in waves TBH. I stopped posting here because it became too volatile, and the TG section has got too introspective for me at the moment. I?m more into doing than analysing the reasons why I can?t. I?m hoping it will settle down again in a while so I pop back every now and then to look.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I think it would be nice for those who decide to move on leave us a little "good-bye" to tell us about their success.

[Pat]

Stephie -- "Goodbye posts" are expressly forbidden on this site. I think the intent was to limit dramatic exits, but I don't know. I often swing by to see how folks are doing, but don't interact much. I'm happier out there "doing life," as Aunt Kelly says. Once I got past the questions and fears (and i credit this site for that,) and took the leap of faith required to get out and live as who I am, I found life to be pretty cool.

[Sara Olivia]

Lydianne, perhaps it is exactly because you have never read this sub forum that you do not understand its history. Years ago, when I first ventured here, knowing that I was transsexual but also certain that with a wife, two children and a conservative family, transition would never be an option for me. Nevertheless I was drawn to the site to live vicariously through other people's journeys. Over the years these women taught me so much, not only about the transition process itself but about courage, sadly all too often about loss and suffering, about the inner strength and determination it took to finally be true and honest with yourself and find that peace and happiness that ultimately made everything all worth it for so many of them.
So when I started this thread it was with all of the above in mind. If, instead of finding this site over 10 years ago I had found it today I may never have learned all that I did from those who took the journey before me, and most importantly to be inspired by them. I might have never ultimately found the courage to start this journey of my own, to finally get to a place in my life where I am truly happy.

As for your point about moving on - I have. Most people who know me today only know me as Sara and do not even know that I was ever anybody else, this includes neighbors, work colleagues and most importantly friends. Some friends and my entire family of course know the whole story. I have never really gotten to know any trans people in my community and as a consequence I pretty much live exclusively in a cis world as a cis women (as far as most people in my life are concerned). That said, I will never forget how much I owe to all the amazing women I have met on this site over the years. Who, when I needed it, gave friendship, encouragement, advice and so much more to me over the years. That is why I feel sad that this forum seems to be on the wane these days. Now that I feel I am pretty much at the end of my transition journey, it would have been nice to be able to return some of the kindnesses bestowed on me by others. Anyways those are just some of my thoughts and reasons for initiating this thread.

[Lydianne]

I mentioned that I don't read this sub forum. I didn't mention that I have never read this sub forum.

Being here was pivotal for your beginning, and congratulations on having completed your transition. Unfortunately, I know two for whom reaching out here had the opposite effect. One of them tried to reach out here after having been directed here by me, and she has since left with no further update. The other is transitioning with support from elsewhere.

For the sake of completeness & fairness, the prohibited response that drove the former away was addressed ( you can see the mod notes ), but the harm had been done. You could probably argue that it could have happened anywhere, but it happened here.

So you and I have different abiding memories of this sub forum . . and that's perfectly OK.

- L.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I think it would be nice for those who decide to move on leave us a little "good-bye" to tell us about their success.

I was recently asked to help find someone who left the forum in case something really bad happened to them. I helped track her down, and she is fine. But that would be a good reason to say, "Good Bye", or "I'll be away for a while."

I stay connected here for several reasons, including finding out what friends are up to and keeping up with being a girl some of the time.

The other reason I stay on here is to "pay it forward". I've received so much insight and help from this site that I feel an obligation to pay it back when I can.

[Eemz]

I can only speak for myself but I found it increasingly difficult to deal with people projecting their own fears onto other people?s circumstances. The world will end if you do X ... that might be true for the person saying it. But that doesn?t make it an absolute truth. Even when you know they?re trying to be helpful and perhaps absolutely believe what they?re saying.

I think many people just sort of drift away from here as Lydianne says, when they?re doing ok, and that?s perhaps a good thing?