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Thread: Crossdresser versus trans...what are you?

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  1. #1
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Crossdresser versus trans...what are you?

    I was a crossdresser for several years but now a transgender.
    I'm not going to tell my story or reasons to transition neither the definition of transition but I see that many of us, trans people, were once cds.
    What do you think make the difference and what are you?
    HRT 042018; Full time 032019
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  2. #2
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    All CD's are Trans.

    Because if you weren't even a little Transgender then you probably wouldn't have ever had the urge to crossdress.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    When Devi uses the word Trans I am sure that she is meaning Transsexual. She is a trans-woman and it is common with trans-women to use the word trans for transsexual.

    She did use the word transgender but that was probably her computer struggling because English is not its native language. LOL

  4. #4
    Junior Member Meeshell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post
    All CD's are Trans.

    Because if you weren't even a little Transgender then you probably wouldn't have ever had the urge to crossdress.
    That’s a pretty bold statement, and I’m afraid I must disagree. There is more than one crossdresser, who has no desire to actually be a women, or necessarily even pretend to be a woman. Many are inspired by erotic excitement induced by feminine fashion and form. Others by a desire to be beautiful. Some both. One would have to admit, that many men find beauty in the feminine form and fashion, including clothes, make up, hair, etc. I think, that sometimes, that translates, in some male minds, to feeling a need to emulate women in attempts to feel beautiful about themselves. No desire to be a woman, but, to look like one at times, and feel good about their appearance. Much the same as women, who dress to the nines on occasion to feel “pretty”. It’s, also, hard to argue that there isn’t a certain comfort and satisfaction to the feel of the caress of more traditionally feminine fabrics against the skin.

    I’m not arguing that crossdressers in general don’t have a “softer” side, but saying they’re all transgender just isn’t true. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care if somebody labels me transgender. I could care less, but I do embrace my masculinity, and wouldn’t give that part of me up for love, nor money.

    Just my thoughts
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  5. #5
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meeshell View Post
    That?s a pretty bold statement, and I?m afraid I must disagree. There is more than one crossdresser, who has no desire to actually be a women, or necessarily even pretend to be a woman. Many are inspired by erotic excitement induced by feminine fashion and form. Others by a desire to be beautiful. Some both. One would have to admit, that many men find beauty in the feminine form and fashion, including clothes, make up, hair, etc. I think, that sometimes, that translates, in some male minds, to feeling a need to emulate women in attempts to feel beautiful about themselves. No desire to be a woman, but, to look like one at times, and feel good about their appearance. Much the same as women, who dress to the nines on occasion to feel ?pretty?. It?s, also, hard to argue that there isn?t a certain comfort and satisfaction to the feel of the caress of more traditionally feminine fabrics against the skin.

    I?m not arguing that crossdressers in general don?t have a ?softer? side, but saying they?re all transgender just isn?t true. Don?t get me wrong, I don?t care if somebody labels me transgender. I could care less, but I do embrace my masculinity, and wouldn?t give that part of me up for love, nor money.

    Just my thoughts
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    Thank you MeeShell for this statement, I can't agree more, you found the right words.
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  6. #6
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    I remember hearing the difference between a CD and transgender is 2yrs. I have seen folks that have started transitioned after 2 yrs of toying with crossdressing.
    I have been cding 50+ yrs off and on but have never really considered transition at least not for more than a few days.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  7. #7
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    I am a CD and a very light CD compared to most. Not transgender. Not transsexual. No desire to be a woman. I cant really explain why I dont want to be a woman but I dont.

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    Meh.... You can go back into the archives of this very board and find my posts adamantly arguing that I was just a CD with no desire to be a woman...

    I was lying to myself most of all, and I have never been happier once I accepted myself as Transgender.

    Does that mean I am going to transition?

    Not necessarily...

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Devi,
    I am a man who wears clothes usually worn by women.
    That means that others may choose to call me transgender, non-binary or a crossdresser - these are just labels.
    I am happy and doing no harm to others. That is more important than labels, I think.
    luv J

  10. #10
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    Both and more

  11. #11
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    If I had to choose a label I would say I'm transgender. I'm not on a transition path now but there are certainly times when I feel that it would be the right path for me. Then again there are times when thoughts of transition age far from my conscience thought.

    My signature kind of sums it up for me. If I were strictly a crossdresser then the clothes would be enough for me. They aren't.

  12. #12
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I started as a CD, seeking my feminine side! (Sallee, I am slow, it took 3 years! LOL) I find that I am more Lana Mae than Harry! When I can do my name change, I will be Lana Mae! I am as I told my counselor: a Transgirl! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
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    I am a CD and have been active for about 8 years in a DADT situation but had ?feelings? for very many years. I have no plans to trans?? (insert what you want!) but I can see the possibilities.
    Vikky.
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    Adventure before dementia

  14. #14
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Neither, but thanks for asking.

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    You can deny it and come up with a lot of other explainstions that makes you feel better, but in reality I am right.

    Transgender covers everyone here from the occasional fetish crossdresser to the post-op Transsexuals.

  16. #16
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post
    You can deny it and come up with a lot of other explainstions that makes you feel better, but in reality I am right.
    Why? Because you say so? I disagree. There are dozens of threads on this forum extolling the wonders of panties, girdles, hosiery, or bras. Sometimes in combination, sometimes a single article of clothing. Some of these folks will never, ever expand their wardrobe, because those articles are fetishes for those people. And they are satisfied with that, and there is nothing wrong with that practice. And how many threads about "underdressing" are there?

    We have people on these boards who swear that they will never, NEVER!, wear women's pants or jeans. Why? Is it because they associate pants with masculinity or male clothes? Clothes have become gendered, even though clothing itself is genderless. Would you claim that a GG who wore jeans, slacks or trousers (cut for a woman's body, for you pickers of nits) as a crossdresser? Or as transgendered? Would you claim that a Scotsman, wearing a traditional kilt is transgendered?

    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post
    Transgender covers everyone here from the occasional fetish crossdresser to the post-op Transsexuals.
    Pardon me, but you are mistaken. That is like saying that everyone with red hair is Irish, or that everyone who likes tea is English. Or that the GG woman who owns a pair of shiny PVC thigh-high boots is into BDSM. Or that every woman with short hair is a lesbian.

    I am NOT saying that transgendered people are above or better than crossdressers, or worse, for that matter.

    But there is a vast difference between the crossdresser who dresses because "it feels good", 'it feels taboo', or because they just like it, to a transgendered person trying to live their life the best they can and be authentic to themselves and how they see themselves.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

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  17. #17
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    See what I mean the spectrum is so huge there may no answer for some.

  18. #18
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I am one who detests thongs. Others love them. I admit that i do fantasize about being a woman a lot, and there were times, if i had had the money, i may have sought SRS. I still have fantasies about if i had been female, and i like being admired for my finished look all dolled up, and would like to meet gentlemen, for non penetration play, but reality is i need to stay male for a number of good reasons. I need my guy self, in spite of its not much fun being an unwanted older single man.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Dallasmann, You said it for me, too. I can very much relate with your experience.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    If I had realized certain things about myself when I was younger I might have took the leap from CD to TS. Some of us older girls came up in a different time when things were more difficult.

  20. #20
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I think that the biggest problem with defining what you are, is finding out why you are that way. The vast majority here have no clue. And that gets in the way of trying to figure out whether we're males who need to crossdress, vs female personalities that grew up stuck in male bodies. Or something in between.
    You can have severe gender identity dysphoria but still not be transgender. It all comes down to why you feel the need to dress/behave as the opposite sex. Not all of us are 'born that way'.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  21. #21
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post
    You can deny it and come up with a lot of other explainstions that makes you feel better, but in reality I am right.

    Transgender covers everyone here from the occasional fetish crossdresser to the post-op Transsexuals.
    When you choose it for yourself, it?s an identity. When you choose it for someone else, it?s a label. Just something to think about. Because I know people who would say ?you can deny it if it makes you feel better, but in reality I?m right that you?re a [insert choice words here that would get me banned]?

  22. #22
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jean 103 View Post
    Also not all CDs want to experience life as women.
    I think that for a good number, it's not that we don't want to, it's that we can't. Some want to; some yearn to. Some desperately want to. Others sink into despair because they can't, and for some, even transitioning doesn't help. Why?
    Because the best we might accomplish, is to experience life as a MTF transsexual. And that's not the experience that women have.
    We don't know what life is like for women, because we aren't women. Even those MTF TS who go on T blockers very early, and then hormone therapy so that they appear to be GG's to the outside world as they go through puberty, don't know what a GG's life is like. They can only guess. Same as us. Who knows; we might even be guessing right. But there's no actual way to know.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  23. #23
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    I submit that life for a transitioned M2F is more like that of a cis female than it is not. Yes there are differences, but they are far from being the things that dominate a female's experience. Among the presentations I attended at the "Out in West Texas" conference this weekend was one wherein it was pointed out that not only does the transwoman give up male privilege, she also lives at the place where the challenges of women and TS intersect.

  24. #24
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    This always gets to a heated discussion.... but not every CD wants to be a woman. I'd say most dont. For those who want to be... go for it. But dont assume we are like you

  25. #25
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    Why do some constantly try to nit pick and find a label or classification to fit in ?
    Isn't that just making things harder on them?

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