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Thread: Do you find mentioning yourself "crossdressing" offensive/demeaning/discriminating?

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    Do you find mentioning yourself "crossdressing" offensive/demeaning/discriminating?

    Why to have a different word altogether as "crossdressing"? Are we comfortable with that word? Does not the word have inherent connotation that you are not wanted in so called society or do not pander to social norms just because you want to dress/feel like outside defined limits set? I may be wrong but why historically and in some regions still in present women wearing jeans or women wearing shirts/pants was seen as women empowerment but men wearing a skirt/spandex/camisole is seen as crossdressing? Was not "Crossdressing" as a term made to imply "you are unacceptable" or "cross breed" (suggesting unwanted breed or unproductive breed-which in my opinion is racism)? Why did not they/we call it by other words like "DressingAsPerWill" or "WillDressers" or "WishfulDressing" ?

  2. #2
    Twisted Sister Patience's Avatar
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    With respect, you're asking multiple rambling questions and not very clearly.

    Short answer to the basic question is no. "Crossdressing" is not a demeaning term and after all, we need a name for what we do, so a rose by any other name...

    I won't comment on the rest until I'm sure I got your drift...
    ...and though she feels as if she is in a play, she is anyway...

  3. #3
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    I think you don't fully understand the term yourself because you have a very skewed and incorrect impression what cross dressing is.
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    I just had some random thoughts about the term "crossdress".

    Thts so lovely a line mentioned by you Patience: "a rose by anyother name would smell as sweet". Thank you for that.

    I thought crossdress as a term was coined to make us feel outcast or unacceptable. But I think we have found beauty in that word too.

  5. #5
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    The official definition of crossdresser is one who wear the clothing of the opposite gender.
    Nowhere in that definition does it state or imply outcast or unacceptable.
    I am transgender so the term CDer really doesn't fit because I am wearing the clothes that represent how I view myself.
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  6. #6
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    I have never found crossdressing to be an offensive term. I agree with Tracii that the term has no offensive connotations.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member Kaylin's Avatar
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    I agree with Tracii and Patience. To me, Your post isn't very clear at all here.

  8. #8
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    I think perhaps Across has made some assumptions that were based on or were heard from others who basically have no idea what they were talking about.
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    Aspiring Member Kaylin's Avatar
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    Its gotta be that Tracii. I still can't wrap my head around all of it. LoL Seems like they are basing it off what they heard. Not what they know. I read this like 10 times in a row to try and make any sense of it lol

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    I don't care for the word.

    I have been called a crossdresser as a derogatory term. It was by a roommate's ex. They had shared custody of their daughter. We had her three days a week and the two of us became like sisters. I couldn't understand why her mom hated me. Untill some time later when I heard that when she would go to her mom's house all she would talk about was how great Jean was.

    I prefer the term transgender, it's more ambiguous, just me.

    I wear women's clothes every day, so for me it is normal. My friends accept me as I am.

    Technically I am a CD, although I'm more like a T-something.

  11. #11
    Member barbara gordon's Avatar
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    I get the point of rhe original poster . I think the word crossdresser can have an icky feeling about it . I also understand that its ok to have a word to describe what we are doing- with that said- I sometimes feel that it can be a word that is sometimes. Ok as a description, but sometimes it is a word that is loaded with self loathing and loaded with distain from outside observers. Crossdressing is controversial for many people who dont do it. As well as frustrating for people who do ,do it. Its often misunderstood as a fetish and often characterized as shameful. . I have been a lifelong crossdresser but the further i go into it , I have adopted the word transgender for myself. Its all in layers. The meaning and potency of any word changes and evolves over time. In definition the word transvestite means the same thing as crossdresser. But its feeling is derogatory for most people. I think the word crossdresser is evolving into being a derogatory word even if it ffits its meaning.
    Sorry to ramble all over this. . But it really is a complicated set of ideas.

  12. #12
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    Of course the printed word does not convey word inflection. The word itself only refers to the act of wearing the clothing worn by the opposite sex. Said one way and it is nothing more than a declarative statement or point of information. Say it with a different inflection and it becomes a negative scornful statement. I am hesitant to refer to myself as transgender. The members on the forum cannot seem to come to an agreement on the usage of the word. Try explaining it to the general public. Forget the one word answers and explain in complete sentences and paragraphs. I'd wager the vast majority of the public has not meet a cross dresser let alone have a discussion with one.

    I believe there have been threads of a similar nature about transvestite.
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 11-01-2019 at 10:48 AM. Reason: spelling error

  13. #13
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
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    I'm with Jean. I don't care for the word either. Yes, by definition, that's what I'm doing. But there's way more to it than just dressing up. I feel complete. Like the outside matches the inside.
    The definition of 'crossdresser' is cut and dry. But the use of the word can be too easily used in a derogatory manner.
    I choose not to use it, as it doesn't fully fit who I am anyway. But that's just me.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    I don't find the term offensive. It simply describes something I do. It is by no means fully descriptive of who I am and why I choose to crossdress but then again I don't think of it as being intended as all encompassing.
    It's just the clothes... isn't it?

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Across,
    I am proud to be a "crossdresser" in the privacy of my own home!
    luv J

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I think it depends some on where you live and a lot on the attitude of the other person. I view crossdressing as an activity and not really an identity. But it certainly can be an identity if the person who crossdresses doesn't actually identify as transgender of some kind or other. But like Jean said, it can carry a negative meaning to it. Like most descriptive words crossdressing can mean very different things to different people. I personally use "gender variant" or something like that and let the other person form whatever picture they wish. Other times I will use "gender fluid" and that often works. If the other person asks me if I crossdress I tell them, "Absolutely. Most of the time it goes with the territory." I try to be a bit less vague and key my identity into something like, "I am not like you and that is the way it is. But that doesn't mean I can't be like you because I can, even though I often am not."

  17. #17
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    You can _call_ yourself anything you want. Just don't expect anyone else to know what the hell you're talking about. Words have meanings. Those meanings are often arrived at by an often subtle process of evolution. Attempts to create a new definition for a well established term are, to say the least, challenging.
    We could go back to "transvestite", I suppose.

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    Carpe Diem Jackiefl's Avatar
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    I also prefer the term transgender.

  19. #19
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    As far as I’m concerned, there are no dirty names. I’ve called myself a crossdresser, a transvestite, a tranny, a transgender or transgendered person, a preop transsexual, and a woman with male body parts. I’m proud to be all of those things. It’s the concept that’s important, not the words we use to describe it. Sticks and stones.

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    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I might describe myself as wearing a dress (describing myself as crossdressed is not offensive to me but does not seem accurate to me either)
    Last edited by bridget thronton; 11-02-2019 at 04:25 AM.

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    Member April Rose's Avatar
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    The term "crossdresser" came into common usage because "Transvestite" had too much sexual connotation, and that upset some people. Others were fine with it. Look up "crossdresser" in Websters dictionary. It is in no way pejorative.

    At some point, people just need to get a grip.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

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    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Racism!?? I am sick of that shopworn PC poop. Cd is done by all races!!! Each of us is a unique individual. I detest GROUP THINK. No, race has NOTHING to do with this, and transvestite is the older term used. Human nature is to put everyone into this group think or box. Be an individual. We are what we are, but can always improve in baby steps or big steps. i am a blue collar big man , that has had no wife or SO, and i admit i am a bit odd, strange, different than the normal male, with one part of me that is a bit lady like, and likes to transform into a beautiful older lady, in the mirror sometimes. I would like to have not been born with this proclivity, though, as it has made me an even more loner, and with social difficulty, and i already am a highly sensitive, with emotional illness, and nervous disorder. It does not matter what you call yourself. People judge no matter what. I guess i could call myself a variety dresser, or wide range dresser. Or guy with two sides, artistic dresser, complex person, a misfit, different, abnormal ,out of the box, yada yada yada. Most people will think gay, or twisted, pervert, deviant, weird, though.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 11-01-2019 at 10:03 AM.
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  23. #23
    Member ambigendrous's Avatar
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    I'm not crossdressing; I'm "dressing comfortably"...
    Ambigendrous
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    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    We are all part of the human race.
    All this calling things racist nonsense needs to stop.
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  25. #25
    Sort of a n00b Pixie_94's Avatar
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    Okay, this turned into a trainwreck of a question. I might struggle with accepting myself, but even I know that's not a derrogatory term and don't try turning it into one.

    We already have enough with what traditional media does whenever something is misinterpreted. Don't be like them, you can be better.

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