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Thread: Someone asked "Does wearing women's clothes make one less of a man?"

  1. #1
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    Someone asked "Does wearing women's clothes make one less of a man?"

    So today I answered a question on Quora which asked this question, and I was curious as to everyone's opinions about this.
    I myself have not given it any thought as to whether or not crossdressing makes me less of a man and more of a woman. Well when I dress up , I do indeed feel more girly and feminine, and that's the way I like it. The suggestion of such a thing is crazy. But even if it did mean that dressing up as a woman would make me seen as more feminine and less manly, I would still dress up in absolutely everything that I have, because I love to express my feminine side, and it just feels so darn good to me when I dress up. I constantly keep thinking back as to when and how I became a crossdresser, and how I almost let this grand opportunity slip by. I get sad thoughts in my mind just thinking about how I could've very easily gone through life without dressing up. And why? Because I was afraid of this exact thing, that people would see me as less of a man.
    As far as it making me less of a man, I say total bullshit. I still act and feel like a typical man and like the things they do. I could care less about sappy romance stories like a real woman would. I told him to just go with his guts and instincts and just go with it and have fun.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Kay J's Avatar
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    As far as i am concerned you are right on!

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    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    In my case, yes it does. If wearing woman's clothing made me feel manly I wouldn't be doing it.

    But that being said, I think this question is directly related to the whole TG versus CD label thing that goes on here.

    I have noticed CD's seem go out of their way to ensure everyone that they are indeed "still a man". I know, I did it myself.

  4. #4
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    One time I was in a boutique where the owner knew I was male and she told me I had balls going out in public dressed as a woman.

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    This is a pretty interesting question. I do feel that this exactly is one of the many fears a cross dresser has. I can surely say that questioning if I am man enough has been what has stopped me for further indulging myself.
    It's funny how society has transformed the fact of being a girl or feeling like one a bad thing as if women were some sort of undesirable thing to be as you would be dumber or weaker or something. I think this has todo with toxic masculinity with things such as "you run like a girl" "you crying like a girl" and stuff like that when as a matter of fact it has nothing to do with it.
    I do think that it's been transformed that a woman wearing men clothes is even empowering while a guy wearing girls clothes is a fag or the likes. It shouldn't be like that.
    Without entering in the gender dysphoria thing, I do think that it doesn't make you less of a man, or for that matter, less of a woman. We should only be worried about being less of a human being or less empathetic, without considering the gender or preferred social role as the definitions of what qualifies as "man" or "woman" vary a lot.
    I know for experience that is really difficult to not care for what others might think, but as long as you are comfortable and secure enough of who you are and what you, I do think people will sort out themselves and most wont really care at all, and even if they don't, people who love you and care and yourself know better.
    Last edited by char GG; 11-01-2019 at 05:07 PM. Reason: Although you didn't spell out the word, we know what it is and not allowed. Please read the rules.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    It's not the clothes. 😉

  7. #7
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Well with any question like that you have to ask, what is the standard for “a man”?

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    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    J Edgar Hoover, the long time law and order strong leader of the once great FBI, is sadit ohave been a crossdresser.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Yes if you are talking about the stereotypical man, like mister C from happy days. How much less? It would depend on the individual.

    Like if he were to wear a witch costume for halloween, I don't thing it would have any effect at all. If he were to started wearing dresses 24/7, I think that could be measured.

    A better question would be does it make you less of a person, or does it have the exact opposite effect and make you a better person. Then it could have no effect at all.

    It does make life more interesting.

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    There are those instances where it's been somewhat true, but as Aunt Kelly so clearly stated, it's not the clothes. I know to a certainty that in so many aspects of married life, I was far less than the man my ex-wife needed and wanted. My desire to dress was barely a blip on the radar. Dressing does not stop me from doing the things one would generally associate with being the man of the household. Then again, I do many stereotypical woman of the house things, too, and for me, that's not about fulfilling my desires and roles as a woman, but is rather about being a good partner and sharing duties. Anything that required a steady hand was my responsibility and anything that was heavy and needed to be moved was hers.

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    I'm not sure people are so easily altered.

    I'm no less a man because of the clothes I wear. But the same token I'm no more a man when I'm in male clothes.

    The woman I am is not affected by what I wear is what I'm saying. But I can express a preference.

  12. #12
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Totally a less of a man when dressed, unless the situation changes and I need to be a man, then I'm more of a man than most men.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

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    Wearing a dress does not make me less of a man. It makes me more of a complete human being. I am not complete unless both my male and female sides are full partners in my day to day life.

    I think of it this way. For the first forty years of my life, the male side drove the car, and drove it like a real man, in all the ways possible, good or bad. Meanwhile the girl stayed in the trunk. At first, she believed that was where she belonged, but when we were about 16, she poked her head out and found mom's lingerie drawer. The man cub tried to keep her hidden and even tried to get rid of her, but she was resilient and adamant. Over the years, the power dynamic shifted and now she drives he car while the man rides in the back seat, having enjoyed decades of alpha male privileges and burdens. He now realizes.its more fun and relaxing in the back seat. And he doesn't mind being complimented for his sexy legs!

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    Oh that's pretty damn close to how I feel now Suzanne.
    I'd go as far as to say that it was me who drank for 30 years so 'he' could look like he was in charge.
    He does what he's told now. Silly boy.

  15. #15
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    What Suzanne said, I am just a more complete human being.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    It really depends on your definitions of what constitutes a man or a woman. Those are not fixed targets and in society they frequently shift around. So, in my opinion, it comes down to how you define it for yourself. I am more TG than CD so I change my clothes expression of my gender ("dressing") BECAUSE I feel feminine rather than TO FEEL feminine. In my experience this can be a big difference between CDs and TGs even though the final result in the expression is the same and both are quite equal in their addressing emotional needs. Whether you are more or less of a man is really, I think, a personal matter and whether you are considering the total person and the total personality of the individual or you are viewing it from that ambiguous world of social definitions. And as for what other people think that is also a personal thing for them. But, the bottomline, as others have pointed out, is what kind of person are you. In Gretchen mode I am a bit more empathetic and compassionate than in the male mode. So does a lack of empathy and compassion define manliness? Once again it comes back to the ambiguity of definitions and the much more centralized and more defined individual perceptions held by different people.

  17. #17
    Member Karmen's Avatar
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    I don't think wearing women's clothes makes me less of a man, but generally people still think that. That's why for most CDs is such a struggle to come out of the closet and that step will turn their life upside down in most cases.

  18. #18
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    The question seems to be based on an underlying assumption that manly is good and feminine is bad. What if we start with the assumption that feminine is good and manly is bad? Then we might ask: Does cross dressing make you feel like a better person? Or better yet, why not discard both assumptions?

    My female clothing is an affirmation of how I feel about myself. I'm female. All the time, regardless of how I'm dressed.

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    I am still the same man as I have always been, just dressed better. My wife said she doesn't want to see me dressed because she feel she would see me as less of the man she married. I still am the same man she married, I have been dressing is I was 4 or 5 so I don't see how people can perceive that all of a sudden we are different.
    Sara

  20. #20
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RainbowDash View Post
    As far as it making me less of a man, I say total bullshit.
    Good for you!

    The idea that men should be a certain way - i.e. strong, capable, stoic, self-confident, domineering, etc, and that women should also be a certain way - emotional, giving, coquettish, submissive, and even illogical (i.e. incapable of understanding car mechanics or balancing a checkbook), was very strong in the 1950s and 60s. Not any more. Both men and women can be and do all things now. The only difference between the two sexes, really, are their ability to give birth and lactate due to having different body parts, and the degrees of physical strength due to general differences in size and muscle mass.

    And so what does it mean to be "less than a man" in 2019. Does it mean less than the male stereotype that was popular during the 1950s? I think this person was asking the wrong question. The question rather should have been, "Am I less than a person because I crossdress". The answer is no. We all are who we are and we do what we do. Period. It's all good, as long as we do no harm.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alorob29 View Post
    ... that a woman wearing men clothes ...
    You're new, so welcome! But I need to set you straight. Women don't wear men's clothes. We buy our pants and shirts in the women's section.
    Reine

  21. #21
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    You're new, so welcome! But I need to set you straight. Women don't wear men's clothes. We buy our pants and shirts in the women's section.
    Perhaps so, Reine, but the majority of women I see on public transport here in London on an average day look as if they had bought their clothes in the men's section. Decidedly unfeminine!

  22. #22
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    Rainbow, you said in your closing comments,"Because I was afraid of this exact thing, that people would see me as less of a man."
    If that was to happen with friends of yours, you might well think that they might see you as less of a man, or something. But if seen by complete strangers, what does it matter what they think? In the final analysis it's what YOU think. Do you believe you are less of a man when dressed, or not?

  23. #23
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I play at being a girl, but when I need to be a man, then I'm more of a man than most men.
    As a parody quote of the XX beer commercial guy, this is pretty much the universal crossdresser response in order to protect their own ego. So many feel the need to express that they're 'more of a man than most men'.
    It just never ends.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  24. #24
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Reine, i agree with you to a good extent, but women's brains are slightly different, also. The corpus colossum , which joins left and right brain, are thicker in most all women, so they are able to MULTI TASK better than men. Which makes women better at taking care of children, and doing other things a the same time, far better than most men.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  25. #25
    New Member AnotherSarah's Avatar
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    Does it make less a man, no, just prettier!

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