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Thread: Reassuring smile from lady walking by, what does it mean?

  1. #1
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    Reassuring smile from lady walking by, or was it?

    So the other day I was dressed up in the latest fashion I have recently gotten into, Lolita. I saw the mail lady stop by our house and deliver the mail. Not wanting to get undressed, especially since Lolita has quite a few items you need to put on in order to complete the entire look, I decided to go outside and check the mail, not really caring if anyone saw me or not. Naturally I was not going to hang around outside for long, just long enough to check the mail.
    As I was walking to the mailbox, a lady walks by, gives me a glance for a couple of seconds, smiles at me and laughs gently. She did not make any rude comments or make a funny face, it was more like she was a bit surprised to see someone like me. I started to wonder what she was thinking. Part of me was thinking she knew I was a crossdresser and that she in her own subtle way was saying "I know you are a man who likes to wear women's clothes, and I support you." But I was not sure that she got a real good look at me to be able to tell if I was a man underneath those clothes.
    The other thing I was thinking was, she may have been admiring the Lolita outfit I was wearing. If that was the case, she was either thinking "She looks real cute in that", or "That girl has daddy issues", which is what a lot of others seem to think about Lolitas, simply because of the style of clothes they are wearing. I should point out for those that are not familiar with the Lolita fashion, it attracts a lot of attention to one's self. Everything I've heard and read about Lolitas, they get funny looks from people, they get asked a lot of questions, etc. Again, she did not seem to be judging me, so I think she was admiring my unusual attire and may have simply been telling me in her own little way that she is ok with it.

  2. #2
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    Lolita? Sorry, but I would suspect she was laughing at you for being outdoors dressed up in fetish wear.
    Some things you lose and some things you just give away...

  3. #3
    Dandizette LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    She might have been thinking "smile at the crazy person and maybe he won't kill me." I'm over the "shock the bourgeoisie" thing and keep my dressing private.

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    quantumbitch Mariabella's Avatar
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    I would not over analyze it and take it in the best light. We get enough internal chatter about being different. Even if for perhaps not the most positive reasons she smiled, she did smile and you brought the smile to her. Your gift was her smile. Take that and feel beautiful about it. Overthinking every encounter was a huge roadblock for me until I just let the love in my heart touch those I encounter. I welcome any smiles or even a chuckle as long as it is not delivered hatefully. That said I have dressed down a couple cis-male thrift store owners for rudeness but generally women who do ?clock? me are kind or if not kind indifferent

  5. #5
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
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    Sounds like you really made her day!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post
    Lolita? Sorry, but I would suspect she was laughing at you for being outdoors dressed up in fetish wear.
    She might have been and if so, that's alright. Since I got into the Lolita fashion, I learned that complete strangers will laugh at you, stop you on the street and ask questions, and so on. Of course, that's for the Lolitas who go out in public, and I am still in the closet. But there are a few rare individuals who will actually compliment the look, especially since Lolita is meant to make one look cute and pretty.

  7. #7
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Which style Lolita were you wearing ?
    There are many different styles that fall into the Lolita realm.
    Don't read too much into it and I am sure she knew you were a man, thats why she smiled would be my guess.
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  8. #8
    I bitch because I care. Patience's Avatar
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    The lady must have thought you really wanted to be seen.

    If you didn't, you'd keep a raincoat or a similar garment handy. Or you'd have waited.
    Forgive me for having the irritatingly feminine trait of wanting to improve the people that I like.

  9. #9
    leggings junkie ellbee's Avatar
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    Seriously, don't sweat it. She probably wasn't expecting to see something like that at that particular time & place.

    No doubt you lifted her spirits!


    Oh, and if it's any consolation, I actually really like the look!


    Would *I* personally wear it? Probably not. But I also certainly wouldn't mind trying it, either. And I definitely don't blame those who are into it, as I totally see where you're coming from.


    Maybe not for everyone, but it's just fashion. And I suppose to the detriment of some, one could also arguably call it costuming (which I don't think is a "bad" word, BTW).

    From what I understand, the Lolita thing also gets an unfair rap, based on some kind of misunderstanding & misrepresentation among a good chunk of the general public. So, unfortunately for those into it, there's that to contend with.



    Anyway, I know this falls under a different vein, but there are some various similarities, IMO...

    Adult GG's at a Victorian-dressing convention... So pretty, so fun!


    conv s.jpg

  10. #10
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    I know a few that are deep into the steam punk segment of the Lolita fashion and a few into the school girl (cute) segment.
    They really enjoy it and have fun with it.
    Not my thing but if you are into it thats your choice.
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    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    This past Saturday, I was waiting for my BF to arrive, and was dressed from head to toe, for an afternoon's outing. HE prefers me in skirts, so I was wearing a knee length ( ok, maybe a teensy bit shorter than knee length) green tartan skirt, and heeled boots, paired with an obviously femme sweater.

    Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Opening the door, I met my mail carrier, a woman, who had a certified letter for me. As I was signing for it, I asked if she needed to see my ID, since I appeared differently than who the letter was for. She asked "Why, who are you?" I smiled and said I was the person the letter was for. She replied, "Oh, you're fine. And I like your boots." She made my day!

    It reminded me of the line from "From Dusk Til Dawn", when George Clooney tells Quentin Tarantino "It's no big deal, unless you make it a big deal"
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

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  12. #12
    I bitch because I care. Patience's Avatar
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    I think letter carriers are grateful to see the customer wearing clothes. As opposed to not.
    Forgive me for having the irritatingly feminine trait of wanting to improve the people that I like.

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    At least you were not met with a roaring belly laugh and a pointing finger by a semi drunk guy. I was greeted in that manner in a grocery store on Halloween. Maybe you need to post a picture of the outfit you were wearing. Lolita conjures up "jail bait" to me.

  14. #14
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I know A LOT about women, RD. Enuff to to now whatever I think they're thinking is always wrong!

    But, I have figured out a way to always BE SURE I know what they r thinking!

    Ask them!
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 11-06-2019 at 09:37 PM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  15. #15
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    There is a time and place for certain outfits, if you push the boundaries it could cause a scene.

  16. #16
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Sometimes it's just fun to be loud, maybe she caught some of your fun vibes
    I would so wear that to my local historical village (unfortunately they only offered me bland old dresses when I asked)
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
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  17. #17
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    She laughed at you. Stop trying to explain it away as something else. Either own it or change your behavior.

  18. #18
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    I think she simply has a good sense of humour!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Which style Lolita were you wearing ?
    I wear Gothic Lolita and eventually would like to try Sweet Lolita.
    For those interested, I knew I was likely going to be seen when I checked the mail, and part of me wanted to be seen. Since I am in the closet still, this is basically taking baby steps. When I eventually do go out in public, I will wear something more modest.

  20. #20
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    I found a picture of the Gothic Lolita outfit you posted back in May (2019). Cute outfit if worn by the right person. If you wanted to take a baby step in your neighborhood I'd say you definitely made a statement. I have to assume the woman was a neighborhood passing by as you check your mailbox. I also have to assume your secret life is no longer longer a secret shared by you and her. It's probably more like "That guy who lives down at 1234 House is a cross dresser." I agree if you're going to go out and about a more modest dress would be appropriate.

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    RainbowDash,
    The point is you know this style of clothing is going to raise some eyebrows , that's why most people wear it . In some respects you're possibly lucky she only smiled she could have made you feel bad if she'd made a comment .

    If you are going to wear this kind of outfit in public you do take your chance , the only way I would wear a more attention seeking outfit would be for a charity event , I'm all for a little fun for a good cause but I wouldn't do it otherwise .
    The real me ,no going back.

  22. #22
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RainbowDash View Post
    As I was walking to the mailbox, a lady walks by, gives me a glance for a couple of seconds, smiles at me and laughs gently.
    That's the response of someone thinking to herself, 'Silly boy', without coming right out and laughing and pointing. I've seen it many times from women at work when they see a CD/TG person who obviously does not pass (which, of course, is over 99% of the time to the trained eye of medical people).
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Women will shoot a quick smile as a way of saying hi, it's like a reflex thing, and I do it without thinking about it. By itself it doesn't really mean anything.

    But thank you for the lesson, not knowing anything about Lolita fashion googled it. Now I understand and it explains a lot.

    I was given bunch of patterns. Some sixties and seventies dresses I like, but about half of them are costume patterns, now I understand what she was doing with them.

    There is this Danish tourist town called Solvang not far from me. It is a nice place to just go for a walk. There are a lot of oriental tourist lately and I like the way the women dress, now I understand why.

  24. #24
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Strangers' reactions should be taken like art in a gallery. Interpret it in any way you'd like and then move on. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter anyway.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member Violetgray's Avatar
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    I think that it should be made clear in this case that the "Lolita" style refers to the somewhat neo-Victorian style that tends to feature voluminous skirts, ruffles and lace that comes from Japan, and not what most people think when they say Lolita, as in the sexualization of pre-adult girlhood.
    Last edited by Violetgray; 11-09-2019 at 09:31 AM. Reason: misspelled word.

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